123 result(s) for Funny Sailing Quotes.
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it, especially when I'm on a boat!"
"A ship is always referred to as 'she' because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder."
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out you have a boat."
"I'm not a fan of the ocean, but I am a fan of the safety of well-made boats!"
"A bad day sailing is better than a good day at work."
"There’s a fine line between a sailor and a drunk. It’s called a boat."
"The only thing worse than being lost at sea is being found at sea."
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"I love being on the ocean. It’s like my therapy session that doesn’t involve a couch."
"The sea is an expensive place to spend time—and I do like to spend my time on the sea."
"The best thing about being on a boat is the ability to sail away from your problems."
"If you don't know where you are going, any wind will take you there."
"Yacht: a floating cocktail party."
"Sailing is like sex: you can get it up, but can you keep it up?"
"It's not that the wind is blowing, it’s how you set your sails."
"I don't always go sailing, but when I do, I prefer to call it 'adjusting my sense of direction.'"
"Why did the sailor always bring a pencil aboard? In case he had to draw his anchor!"
"Sailing: because punching people is frowned upon."
"If my boat is named 'Home,' can I still be lost at sea?"
"If you're going to sail, aim for the shore. It makes everything easier."
"Trust me, you can't buy happiness, but you can buy a boat—and that’s pretty close."
"I told my wife I was going sailing for the weekend. She said, 'Okay, what’s for dinner?'"
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"On the water, I feel like I belong—unlike that old sailboat everyone else calls my family."
"You know you’re a sailor when the thought of land makes you seasick."
"The sea is a cruel mistress. It will eat you alive if you let it!"
"I can't control the wind, but I can adjust my sails!"
"Sailing is like being on a boat, but it's also like being on a yacht. Except when it's not."
"I’m not sure what the question is, but sailing is definitely the answer."
"Sailors get away with a lot, just ask the sea."
"The wind and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigator."
"In my youth, I had a dream of sailing. Now, I’m just trying to see how many sails I can avoid at the dock."
"There’s nothing more exhilarating than the wind and the waves—except maybe a cold beer!"
"Sailing: the fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while going nowhere at great expense."
"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor, but it sure does make for a relaxing trip."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. I'm also on a sailing diet: I see a boat, and I jump in!"
"You haven't been sailing until you’ve shouted at the wind."
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"If you think sailing is boring, you've never been turned upside down by a wave!"
"Sailors have the best tales to tell; mostly about how they avoided the 'one that got away.'"
"There's nothing like the sound of the wind in your sails… or your partner yelling at you!"
"A bad day sailing is better than a good day at work!"
"Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. And hopefully, don’t get lost!"
"Why do I need a boat to swim? That’s just too much effort!"
"Sailing: the only sport in which too much wind can lead to disaster; but it's better than too much work!"
"No boat is safe in this harbor, or any harbor; watch out for the storms!"
"I love sailing, but I hate when the wind is at my backside—what a drag!"
"Every time I get on a boat, I leave my troubles ashore—mostly because they don't fit in the lifejacket!"
"The best sailor is not the one who knows all the ropes, but the one who can tie a knot in the wind!"
"I'd rather be sailing—than trying to explain sailing to someone on land!"
"They say the best way to learn sailing is to capsize. I must be a master by now!"
"I love sailing. I’m going to sail off the edge of the world someday."
"If you don’t sail your own boat, don’t complain when you find yourself in someone else’s."
"The sea is a fickle mistress, but I have a love-hate relationship with her."
"I thought I saw a big sailing ship, but it was just a mirage on the horizon."
"Why do sailors make bad friends? Because they always sail away!"
"I’d rather be sailing than working – unless I’m working on my boat!"
"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea."
"Take your time, but don’t waste my time on my boat!"
"You know you are a sailor when you have more rags than clothes."
"The ocean is like a giant ATM machine, only when you withdraw, you end up with salt."
"Sailing – the fine line between chaos and disaster."
"A bad day of sailing is still better than a good day at work."
"To err is human; to sail is divine."
"Sailors have the unique ability to work hard with their hands and think hard with their heads – or just complain a lot!"
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I sail away from it!"
"The best cure for everything is a great sail. Unless the boat is sinking."
"Sailing: the art of getting there a day late."
"Good sailors never leave their mark on the water – just their wake!"
"When in doubt, let it out; set the sail and see where it goes!"
"I can’t keep calm, I’m a sailor!"
"A day without sailing is like a day without sunshine – but don’t tell my boss!"
"Why do we tell sailors to avoid ‘land ho?’ Because they might just start ho-ing around!"
"Sailing is just like a relationship... They both have their highs and lows!"
"Sailing is the fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while going nowhere at great expense."
"There’s nothing more satisfying than a good sail, except maybe a good meal afterwards!"
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it — especially when I’m sailing!"
"Why do sailors always seem so happy? Because they’re on their ‘yacht’!"
"The sea has enough of fish; the boat has enough of water. I prefer dry land..."
"I can’t control the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. Just kidding, I’m probably going to drift."
"Ships are the biggest reminder that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side; it's usually just water."
"A bad day sailing is still better than a good day at work."
"Sailors don’t need to worry about who they’re going to marry because they can always just tie the knot!"
"I don’t always tell bad sailing jokes, but when I do, I make waves!"
"The only thing worse than a bad day on the water is a good day at work."
"You know you’re a sailor when your favorite gym is the one that sails off into the sunset!"
"A graduation party is like a sailing trip – it sounds good in theory until you’re stuck in the middle of it!"
"Why did the sailor break up with his girlfriend? Because she had too many emotional anchors!"
"I thought I was going to be a sailor, but I couldn’t pass the ‘buoyency’ test!"
"Sailing is like a big puzzle: every time you think you have it figured out, the wind changes."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a boat, and that’s pretty close."
"Sailing teaches you the life lesson that no matter how good your plans are, you’re going to get wet!"
"In a relationship, it takes two to sail; otherwise, someone is going to end up in the drink!"
"If you think a woman is going to bring you down, try a sinking boat!"
"Sailing: the art of getting to a place you didn’t really want to go, but hoped to get there just the same."
"They say 'the wind is at your back,' but it usually feels more like it’s all in your face!"
"What do you call a lazy sailor? A ‘dock’ potato!"
"Why did the fish refuse to play piano on the boat? Because they were afraid of the 'scales'!"
"The only time I don’t like sailing is when I’m on dry land."
"Sailing is like poker: if you don’t bluff well, you’ll never get anywhere."
"The sea is about the only place where there’s no Google, so if you miss the mark, it’s really your fault."
"Sailing: The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while slowly going nowhere at great expense."
"There’s nothing more exhilarating than a lovely sail on a sunny day—unless, of course, it’s a horrible, capsizing storm."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you want to have a big yacht."
"You know you are a sailor when you can't remember which way is up."
"When in doubt, throttle it out!"
"Good sailors have dirty boats."
"A sailor is an artist whose medium is the wind."
"There’s nothing quite like the thrill of watching your nice new sails turn into laundry."
"I like big boats and I cannot lie."
"Sailing is like being in love. You only feel the pleasure when you’re sailing; the rest is agony."
"In a sailing race, the only crew that matters is the one that can make it to the finish line without throwing each other overboard."
"Sailing is the art of getting wet and becoming ill while going nowhere at great expense."
"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor, unless the sailor was also a little bit crazy."
"You can’t buy happiness. But you can buy a boat, and that’s pretty much the same thing."
"If you think sailing is dangerous, try staying on shore!"
"To err is human, to sail is to be lost."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"A sailor’s best friend is a good sense of humor and a reliable buoy."
"If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space on the boat."
"There are old sailors and there are bold sailors, but there are no old, bold sailors."
"Just because you’re sailing doesn’t mean you’re going to sea; sometimes you’re just going to the bar!"
"Sailors don’t need to be rich—they just need to be disorganized and in need of a good excuse."
"The sea is an unknown critic that offers no mercy."
"Sometimes the best crew is a good bottle of wine."
"Sailing: the art of getting somewhere, slowly!"
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