106 result(s) for Funny Quotes On Stickers.
"I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s still not flying."
"Sarcasm: because beating the hell out of people is illegal."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time."
"I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?"
"I am on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"
"If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments."
"I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"I'm not insane. My reality is just different from yours."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!"
"I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere."
"The only thing I throw back on Thursday is a cocktail."
"A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand."
"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I always give 100% at work: 13% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 4% on Friday."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese."
"I didn't fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor."
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I'm on the patch right now, so I can't have dessert!"
"I told my wife the truth. I said I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"I'm not lazy. I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something."
"I would not want to belong to any club that would have me as a member."
"I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"I don't need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"If we weren’t meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"I was going to take over the world, but I overslept."
"I can't believe I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
"It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
"If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work."
"An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"I am on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"If you think I'm a mess now, you should've seen me as a kid."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Live life like a cupcake - have fun, be sweet, and get frosting everywhere!"
"May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short."
"I'm just here for the cake."
"It's not my fault you don't like my stickers."
"Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there."
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy-saving mode."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I’m not running away from hard work. I’m too lazy to run."
"The only reason I have a job is because I don’t want to die of boredom."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me... I’ll laugh at you."
"I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"Sign on the bathroom: 'The toilet is not a trash can.' Guess it’s my new life motto!"
"The best part of waking up is going back to sleep."
"I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!"
"A clean house is a sign of a broken computer."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"I put the pro in procrastinate."
"If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"Sure, I have a few dreams. But I also have a few naps."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"I told my therapist about you."
"They say money talks, but all mine says is 'Goodbye.'"
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"Don't worry, the world will end in five minutes. Just make sure your last meme is a good one."
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"I need six months of vacation, twice a year."
"I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I always carry a three-pound brick in my backpack just in case I encounter any light reading."
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I wish I had a dollar for every time I got distracted... Oh look, a squirrel!"
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"I'm on a low-impact diet. I eat less and exercise less."
"The difference between a pizza and your opinion is that I actually want pizza."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
