Memorable Funny Quotes About Old Age

104 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Old Age.
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it."
Unknown
"Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled they don’t recognize you."
Unknown
"You’re not old until you can’t remember when you were young."
Unknown
"I’m at the age where my back goes out more than I do."
Phyllis Diller
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re in it, it’s not getting out that counts."
John S. Citron
"There’s no shame in being a Senior Citizen, as long as you don’t act like one."
Unknown
"You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old."
George Burns
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"Getting old is like being in a coffee shop. You don’t mind the wait, but you wish someone would hurry up and bring you some good stuff."
Unknown
"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
Jack Benny
"I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now."
Unknown
"It takes a long time to become young."
Pablo Picasso
"The older you get, the more you realize that you are not fine the way you are."
Unknown
"I’ve reached an age where my back goes out more than I do."
Phyllis Diller
"Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30."
Robert Frost
"I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do."
Phyllis Diller
"The older I get, the more I realize I’m still a kid at heart."
Anonymous
"At my age, I’ve seen everything. I just can’t remember it."
Anonymous
"Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."
Charles Schulz
"The older I get, the better I was."
Anonymous
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there."
Anonymous
"I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top."
Anonymous
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"To age is to find a place where wisdom and silliness can coexist."
Anonymous
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re past it, you look back and see that it was only a phase."
Anonymous
"The older I get, the more I enjoy my own company."
Anonymous
"You’re only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
Anonymous
"If you don’t think that you’re sexy at 60, just remember that for most of your life, you’ve been irresistible."
Anonymous
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
Bob Hope
"I'm not aging, I'm marinating."
Anonymous
"Age is a high price to pay for maturity."
Tom Stoppard
"Old age is when it takes you longer to rest than to get tired."
Anonymous
"Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese."
Billie Burke
"Growing older is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you didn't commit."
Anthony Powell
"I prefer to think of it as buying youth at a discount."
Anonymous
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
Anonymous
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."
Will Rogers
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"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
Bob Hope
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can’t remember it all."
Unknown
"I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart."
Unknown
"The older I get, the more I realize how much I don’t know."
Unknown
"You know you’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocking chair and you can’t get it to rock."
Unknown
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re up, it’s nice to just sit back and enjoy the ride."
Unknown
"Old age comes on suddenly and not gradually as is thought."
Emily Dickinson
"I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me."
Unknown
"As you age, three things happen: The first thing that goes is your memory, and I can’t remember the other two."
Unknown
"You’re not old until your fans begin to whistle."
Unknown
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
Lucille Ball
"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw what you’ve put in."
Maurice Chevalier
"The older I get, the more I realize that I’m only here for a short time, and I’d better enjoy it."
Unknown
"Getting older is like being a fine wine—it gets better with age, but too much exposure will turn it sour."
Unknown
"Old age is a privilege denied to many."
Unknown
"Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live."
Unknown
"With age comes wisdom, and also a lot of funny things!"
Unknown
"The wrinkles only go where the smiles have been."
Jimmy Buffett
"The great part about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been."
Madeline L’Engle
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese."
Billie Burke
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young."
Theodore Roosevelt
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Unknown
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all."
Robert M. Hensel
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
Charles Schulz
"The older I get, the more I realize that I’m not going to change the world, I’m just trying to not let the world change me."
Anita DeFrantz
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do."
Golda Meir
"As I get older, I remember more and more things that I never learned in school."
Mark Twain
"We are always the same age inside."
Gertrude Stein
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a good time for a lot of us."
Anna Quindlen
"I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap."
Unknown
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."
George Burns
"Old age is like a fine wine: it gets better with age unless you have too much."
Unknown
"I'm at the age where I can't tell if I'm tired or just getting old."
Unknown
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician."
Unknown
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha
"Old is when you’ve been asked to slow down by the police."
Unknown
"With age comes the wisdom of experience, and with the experience comes the knowledge of how to get older gracefully."
Unknown
"The best part of being over the hill is that you pick up speed."
Charles Schulz
"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Unknown
"You know you're getting old when you have more candles than cake."
Unknown
"You’re getting old when you don’t care where you go, just so you get there."
Unknown
"With age comes the understanding and problems of doudting."
Jasper Fforde
"Old age is the only disease you don’t want to catch."
Unknown
"The older I get, the more I embrace life with grace and humor."
Unknown
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
Bob Hope
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
Unknown
"The older I get, the more I realize that the best place to be is the best place to be."
Unknown
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing goes, the second thing goes, and the third thing goes."
Larry McMurtry
"Old age is when youngsters start to look old."
Unknown
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can’t remember it all!"
Unknown
"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
Joan Collins
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
Chili Davis
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper."
Pablo Picasso
"I can’t believe I’m finally getting old enough to wear this."
Unknown
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
Theodore Roosevelt
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
Phyllis Diller
"Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
Charles Schulz
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
Unknown
"You know you’re getting old when the music you loved as a teenager is now played on the oldies station."
Unknown
"Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternatives."
Maurice Chevalier
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
Albert Einstein
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
Lucille Ball
"With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone."
Unknown
"I’m not aging, I’m marinating."
Unknown
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
Mark Twain
"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."
Daniel Francois Esprit Auber
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."
Bob Hope
"Age is just a number. In my case, a big one."
Unknown
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana."
Betty White
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