132 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Cheating.
"I don't mind cheating. It's just using a different strategy to win."
"I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize it’s a comedy—just like cheating!"
"Cheating is a way of life. Just ask my wife."
"Love is like a game of chess. One wrong move and you’re mated—unless you decide to cheat."
"Why do they call it cheating? It’s just an alternative method of winning!"
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised—and then I cheated!"
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes—especially when he cheats!"
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"Cheating may not be the answer, but it will buy you some time."
"In my defense, I was left unchaperoned at a bar! That's when the cheating began."
"If you can’t cheat, then how are you supposed to win at life?"
"I’m not saying I’d cheat. I’m just saying I don’t trust my math skills when it comes to relationships."
"Cheating may not be right, but it sure does feel good to get away with it!"
"Why play fair when you can cheat and still look good doing it?"
"Cheating: the art of making mistakes with style."
"Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering! Especially when cheating is involved."
"The only problem with cheating is that it might leave you feeling guilty—if you get caught!"
"I didn't steal your boyfriend. I just borrowed him without asking!"
"You can’t cheat an honest man, but it’s fun trying!"
"If at first you don’t succeed, cheat!"
"Relationships are tough—especially when one partner is the designated cheater!"
"It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught—right?"
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"Cheating is like a game show: you never know how far you can push the limits until it’s too late!"
"They say cheating is an act of desperation, but I call it creativity at its finest!"
"Cheating is just a way to find out how much your heartfelt vows are really worth!"
"Sometimes, cheating is just an expression of love—especially if you’re really good at it!"
"Why did the cheater cross the road? To get to the other side without a fight!"
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"If I were to cheat on my wife, I would not do it on her birthday. That would be mean."
"It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught."
"Why do they call it cheating? It’s just another way of getting ahead."
"I’ve decided to leave my cheating husband. I’m giving him the tennis elbow treatment: I’m just going to ignore him."
"Cheating is just another way of playing the game of love!"
"I’m not saying I was unfaithful, but I did put the ‘other’ in ‘another.’"
"Cheating is like a cake – it’s often best when it’s layered."
"I told my girlfriend I was a cheating psycho, and she said, 'Well, at least you’re honest. Most guys can’t even admit that!'"
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"Relational infidelity is like a buffet – you can’t get enough of the good stuff!"
"What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 20 pounds. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 20 minutes."
"The best part about cheating is that you can have your cake and eat it too – just don’t forget the frosting!"
"I once asked a cheating husband how he managed to keep his secrets, and he replied, 'I just keep two phone numbers – one for each life!'"
"I asked my wife if I could be honest with her about my infidelities, and she said, 'Sure, as long as you’re funny about it!'"
"I always thought cheating was wrong until I found out it was just an intense form of multitasking!"
"They say money can’t buy happiness... but it can buy a lifetime of 'don’t ask, don’t tell.'"
"I told my husband I need more excitement in my life – but apparently, he took it as a suggestion to cheat!"
"When it comes to cheating, the grass is always greener... until it becomes a lawn that needs mowing."
"It’s the thrill of the chase that keeps the heart racing... and sometimes, the heart cheating!"
"Cheating is like telling a lie: no one believes you once they know the truth."
"Cheating is the only risky activity that most couples engage in without a safety net."
"I didn’t cheat. I was simply studying romantic behavior under pressure!"
"Infidelity is like a comedy club – you always need a punchline."
"They say love is blind, but infidelity has 20/20 vision!"
"Infidelity is the search for happiness in all the wrong places."
"If cheating were a sport, I’d definitely be a gold medalist!"
"I used to think cheating was wrong. Then I realized it was just a really fun hobby!"
"I told my wife the truth. I said, 'I’m cheating on you.' She said, 'I know.' I said, 'I’m still cheating on you.'"
"I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it... especially when I’m cheating."
"If you’re going to cheat on someone, make sure they’re on your level."
"The only thing I learned in cheating class was how to take a different test."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife."
"I have two words to say: direct deposit."
"Cheating: because sometimes an extra slice of cake is just worth it."
"A woman might as well propose for herself as accept a man’s proposal; he is a cheater, no matter how you look at it."
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. Especially when it comes to cheating."
"Behind every successful man, there is a woman who has cheated on him before or is planning to."
"Infidelity: it’s just like coding; one wrong line, and everything goes haywire."
"The hardest thing to do is to sweep someone off their feet while keeping a healthy balance on cheating."
"Why do they call it cheating? It's just fast-tracking the fun!"
"If you're gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough... especially about cheating."
"Cheating with the right person is called 'diversifying your portfolio.'"
"I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. And then I cheated!"
"Cheating on a math test means you're actually good at math; you just need to learn how to cheat."
"He who cheats and runs away, lives to cheat another day."
"In the game of life, cheating can sometimes be a winning strategy – if you don’t get caught."
"If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best… or at my cheating phase!"
"Putting everything on red is risky, but it’s not half as risky as cheating on your spouse!"
"I plan on living forever. So far, so good… unless my cheating catches up with me!"
"Statistics say that 3 out of 4 people cheat. I guess that means someone’s not having any fun."
"Cheating is just another word for creative problem solving."
"I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine; if he's not getting better with age, you need to get a new one."
"Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand."
"I don't have a relationship with my ex. I just have a relationship with her ex."
"It’s better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Wow, that was fun!'"
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"The only time to be positive you have a clear path is when you’re on the edge of a cliff."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"You can't cheat an honest man, but you can cheat a cheater."
"If you think your wife is cheating on you, look in the mirror. If you don't see a man of honor, you're probably right."
"I’d make a joke about cheating, but I’m too afraid my husband is cheating on me with the punchline."
"I’m not saying I’m a bad husband; I’m just saying my wife has to share her time and love with my TV."
"Cheating is not always intentional; sometimes, it’s when your heart just wants what it wants."
"I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it, especially when it comes to cheating on my diet."
"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's; she changes it more often."
"Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when you are on a date, not when you are married!"
"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia; you can’t tell how bad the other person is until they cheat on you."
"If we didn’t hold it together, we’d be falling apart. But keep it up, and you'll end up with a broken heart from this dysfunctional.."
"Why is it called 'rush hour' when no one is moving?"
"Half the lies they tell about me aren't true, and I cheat on my taxes."
"My husband and I have an understanding: I don’t hide my cheating; he doesn’t hide his rage."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I have a great joke about cheating on my husband, but he’s not here to hear it."
"Some people need to learn how to cheat better."
"I thought about cheating the other day. I realized my thoughts could use a little more attention."
"I don't think we should be worried about this. It's only cheating if you get caught."
"Why do they call it cheating? It seems to be more like an improvisation."
"If you’re going to cheat on your significant other, at least have the courtesy to change their ringtone."
"Cheating is just putting two people on the same test and hoping one of them flunks."
"We all know that cheating is bad, but sometimes the risk is worth the reward."
"I’d tell you a joke about cheating, but it has too many punchlines."
"If cheating is wrong, then I don’t want to be right!"
"Love is a game; cheating is the strategy!"
"Cheating is like a full-time job; it takes up all your hours, and you get caught eventually."
"Cheating is like a buffet; you go back for more and more until you're too full of regret."
"The only time cheating is acceptable is during dodgeball."
"Cheating is just another way of saying you’re too lazy to try your best."
"I don’t cheat, I just strategically maneuver my way through relationships."
"Some say cheating is a part of life, I say it’s just a sign of bad players."
"I’m not saying cheating is a good thing, but I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, either!"
"A relationship without some cheating is like a diet without cake."
"Cheating is like a secret ingredient; you don’t want anyone to find out what’s in it!"
"Cheating can be fun, but the aftermath is usually a tragedy."
"Why don’t we ever cheat with people who are more interesting?"
"Cheating on a test is like having a cheat code to life."
"Cheaters never win, but sometimes they do get away with it."
"Life is short; if you’re going to cheat, cheat with style!"
"Ever notice how cheaters always have the best excuses? It’s like a talent!"
"If you’re going to cheat, at least let it be memorable!"
"A cheater is a dreamer who never wakes up to reality."
"Every time I think about cheating, I tell myself, 'Get a better hobby!'"
"Cheating: because sometimes following the rules is just too boring."
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