Memorable Funny Quotes About Being Happier

95 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Being Happier.
"I have decided to be happy because it is good for my health."
Voltaire
"The key to happiness is low expectations."
Barry Schwartz
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
Unknown
"If you can't laugh at yourself, you might be missing the biggest joke of all."
Anonymous
"I thought I was poor. Then they told me I wasn’t poor, I was just broke."
Anonymous
"If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong."
Anonymous
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
Franklin P. Jones
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"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard
"I’m so happy, I could die. Just kidding, I’m always happy!"
Anonymous
"It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abraham Lincoln
"I always do jokes about chemistry, but I can't get a reaction."
Unknown
"I'm on the patch right now. It’s a happiness patch. It’s the happiest patch you can be on."
Unknown
"I used to care what people thought of me, but now I value my own opinion of myself."
Unknown
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
Unknown
"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are."
Goldie Hawn
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey
"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it."
Frank A. Clark
"The road to happiness is paved with irony."
Unknown
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
Steve Wright
"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
Jules Renard
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"Happiness is the highest good, but only a few are willing to pay the price."
Paul W. Smith
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka."
Unknown
"I'm so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh, and sing a song."
Carol Burnett
"A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes."
Mahatma Gandhi
"If you cannot laugh at yourself, you’re missing the biggest joke of all."
Unknown
"The only thing that really matters is that you have someone to laugh with."
Unknown
"I think the key to life is just to be a happy person, and be grateful for everything you have."
Molly Sims
"Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions."
Dalai Lama
"Just because you're not happy doesn't mean you can't be funny."
David Spade
"If you think the world is a bad place, you're doing it wrong."
Anonymous
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
Oscar Wilde
"You can't be happy all the time. But you can be happy most of the time!"
Anonymous
"Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth."
Anonymous
"The only thing that can ruin a perfectly happy day is a negative thought."
Anonymous
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"Why are you so busy being you that you don’t have time to be happy?"
Anonymous
"Being happy is the best revenge."
Anonymous
"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes."
Andrew Carnegie
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you might be missing the biggest joke of all."
Anonymous
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
Phyllis Diller
"You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."
Jon Kabat-Zinn
"The road to happiness is long and winding. Laugh as you go."
Anonymous
"Happiness is not by chance, but by choice."
Jim Rohn
"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
Martha Washington
"Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears."
John Lennon
"If you’re happy and you know it, your face will surely show it."
Anonymous
"Being happy is a very personal thing, and it really has nothing to do with anyone else."
Alfred D. Souza
"I think the key to happiness is having a good sense of humor. You can be unhappy if you can’t laugh about things."
Diane Lane
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
George Burns
"The secret to happiness is low expectations."
Barry Schwartz
"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month."
Theodore Roosevelt
"If you want to be unhappy, just be the best at everything."
Henry David Thoreau
"I find my happiness where I least expect it."
Nicolas Cage
"The road to happiness is paved with bad parking."
Unknown
"I believe in the 4-Hour Workweek. I believe we're all entitled to be happy, but it’s not going to happen if we’re stuck at a desk."
Tim Ferriss
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
Victor Borge
"The funniest thing about this world is that every time you meet people who are happy, you realize they are simply carrying their burdens with a smile."
Franklin P. Jones
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Mark Twain
"The only thing that can keep you from being happy is your own insecurities."
Linda Dano
"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."
Mark Twain
"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints."
Billy Joel
"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
Hugh Downs
"There is nothing more foolish than to be unhappy in this world."
Unknown
"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine."
Lord Byron
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream and that's kind of the same thing."
Unknown
"The best way to predict your future is to create it."
Abraham Lincoln
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
Cathy Guisewite
"It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that makes happiness."
Charles Spurgeon
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is end up with people that make you feel all alone."
Robin Williams
"You can’t be unhappy if you stay in the present moment."
Thich Nhat Hanh
"If you want to be happy, be."
Leo Tolstoy
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
Milton Berle
"Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present."
Jim Rohn
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
Mark Twain
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
Charlie Chaplin
"Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."
Will Rogers
"The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom, courage."
Thucydides
"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."
Nathaniel Hawthorne
"I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Jimmy Dean
"Money can’t buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you’re being miserable."
Clare Boothe Luce
"Don't worry, be happy."
Bobby McFerrin
"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product."
Eleanor Roosevelt
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
Betty Reese
"The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters."
Audrey Hepburn
"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Abraham Lincoln
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
Lily Tomlin
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
Unknown
"The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they make the best of everything."
Unknown
"To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others."
Albert Camus
"Happiness is a warm puppy."
Charles M. Schulz
"I was once a pessimist, but now I’m just an optimist cursing my luck."
Unknown
"There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way."
Thich Nhat Hanh
"Happiness is only real when shared."
Christopher McCandless
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."
Audrey Hepburn
"If you want to sing out, sing out. And if you want to be free, be free."
Cat Stevens
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