124 result(s) for Funny Personal Trainer Quotes.
"I don’t sweat, I sparkle."
"I’m a personal trainer. I can’t tell you how to eat cake, but I can tell you how to eat cake after a 5-mile run."
"Just remember, every mile is a smile."
"I believe in making a little progress every day, as long as that includes an extra slice of pizza."
"Dear diet, it’s not me. It’s you."
"Fitness is like a relationship. You can’t cheat and expect it to work."
"Working out is a sign of a healthy relationship with food. Except I still eat the cookie."
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"I lift things up and put them down. Sometimes I drop them, though—could be an issue."
"I told my trainer that I wanted to get fit, and he said to just fit my whole pizza into my mouth."
"The gym is my therapy. The only problem is my therapist is also my gym teacher."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"You can't out-exercise a bad diet. But you can out-lift it."
"Eat, gym, sleep, repeat. But mostly eat… then gym."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch."
"I go to the gym because I think my great personality could use a banging body."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your trainer told you to."
"Running late counts as exercise, right?"
"I exercise because it’s cheaper than therapy. But then I end up needing therapy from the exercising!"
"Don’t worry, I’m just here for the post-workout snack."
"I had a workout plan… and then I met a donut."
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"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. But snacks are what keep you happy."
"My workout consists of a balance between cardio and lifting—like me lifting a donut and running from my self-control."
"I have never been a person that enjoys working out. The only joy I get from it is the endorphins that kick in when I stop."
"I'm not a personal trainer. I'm a create-your-own-adventure guide, and this treadmill is a really bad idea."
"I told my trainer that I didn't want to do a pyramid workout. He told me to just pretend I was climbing real stairs."
"My gym is like my family: we scream, we sweat, we laugh, and we still love each other more than when we started."
"Love your body and the rest will follow. Mostly because you won't have time to think about it while you’re working out!"
"I love exercising. I could watch it all day."
"Don't forget to smile while you are lifting weights. That way, when you drop them, you’ll look cute."
"If you think lifting weights is hard, try lifting your self-esteem."
"Just remember, every time you skip a workout, a personal trainer loses its wings."
"Pain is temporary, but a good selfie lasts forever."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it... but I also go to the gym to feel less guilty!"
"You’re not sweating, you’re just leaking awesome!"
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"I should have exercised today but I don’t want to be happier than I already am."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I work out because I really, really, really like dessert."
"The only time I feel good about my body is when I am wearing my stretchy pants."
"Forget the gym. Just dance like nobody’s watching. Unless they are, then just act normal and pretend you have moves."
"Will run for cake. And then I’ll probably walk a little too."
"A bad workout is still better than no workout. But let’s face it, donuts are still tempting!"
"I’m just here for the snacks."
"Every gym has its own smell, and that smell is primarily derived from the sweat of regret."
"No, I don’t have an exercise routine; I have a how-many-snickers-can-I-eat-today routine."
"I have a personal trainer who is very good at neglecting my feelings."
"The only weight I’m lifting is the weight of my choices... and usually it's pizza."
"I'm in shape. Round is a shape, right?"
"I’m a personal trainer; I get to tell people what to do and they pay me for it. It's like being a drill sergeant, but with more sweat and fewer push-ups."
"You’re one workout away from a good mood."
"I don't always lift, but when I do, I lift pizza to my mouth."
"The only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen."
"I could be in great shape, but my Netflix subscription is just so compelling."
"I work out because I really, really love dessert."
"No pain, no gain. But if you feel pain, you might be doing it wrong."
"Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you, unless you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet!"
"Running late counts as cardio."
"If you think lifting is dangerous, try being weak. Being weak is dangerous."
"A personal trainer is someone who will tell you what to do and make you regret it, but you'll love them for it later!"
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the gym… for a donut."
"I don't want to be skinny. I want to be able to lift things!"
"Gym rule: If you don't sweat, it doesn't count."
"I like to lift my spirits with my weights."
"Consistency is key… except when I want to sleep in."
"I lift weights because I hate running, and the gym has snacks."
"The gym is my second home. The fridge is my first."
"You know you're in great shape when you can carry all the groceries in one trip!"
"I really wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my motivation."
"If at first you don’t succeed, reload and try again… especially if you’re at the gym."
"Great job! You just did what most people won't do. Now, go celebrate with food!"
"There’s no 'We' in 'Fitness,' but there’s definitely a 'Me.'"
"Working out is my favorite way to procrastinate all the other things I need to do today."
"I’m not a personal trainer; I’m more like a personal cheerleader with a clipboard."
"I lift weights, but I also lift donuts."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I told my trainer that I wanted to be fit, but he didn't understand that I meant 'fit a whole pizza in my mouth'."
"I go to the gym because I love carbs. I just happen to love lifting too."
"Sweat is just fat crying."
"I need a personal trainer. Just not one that makes me cry."
"I don't sweat; I glisten."
"The hardest lift of all is lifting your butt off the couch."
"Being fit is like a relationship: you have to work hard and you can't take breaks!"
"You're not really done working out until you can't feel your face."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I thought I was in shape, but then I realized round is a shape."
"Every time I think about exercising, I lie down until the thought goes away."
"Why does everyone want to be a personal trainer? Because it's the only job where checking your phone is considered part of the workout!"
"I’d exercise, but it just makes me hungry. And that’s a slippery slope to donuts."
"I run like the winded."
"If you want to run, run a mile. If you want to experience a different life, run a marathon. If you want to avoid all that, put on some stretchy pants."
"Age is just a number. In my case, a large one!"
"I trained for a marathon, but I made a wrong turn and ended up at a donut shop."
"I don't need a personal trainer; I just need someone to eat that pizza in front of me."
"I wish I had a therapist who was also a chef."
"You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do."
"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. That's why I embrace the challenge of a 20-hour Netflix binge."
"Fitness is like marriage. You can’t cheat on it and expect it to work."
"I may be a personal trainer, but I’m still figuring out how to cheat on my diet."
"Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries!'"
"The only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen. And, of course, the one that involved no cake!"
"I'm so glad we met. This relationship is really getting heated, just like my workouts!"
"Running late is my favorite cardio."
"I work out because I really, really like dessert."
"If you want to impress me, just bring me snacks after the workout!"
"My workout routine is going to the gym and then going out for pizza afterward."
"Losing weight is hard because you have to quit eating the food you love. Just kidding! Nothing but kale and sadness!"
"I thought about going to the gym, but I decided I’d rather lay in bed and make 'exercise' a mental workout."
"Sweat is just fat crying. And I’m sorry to make it cry like that!"
"I don’t need a personal trainer. I just need someone who will keep me well-stocked in snacks."
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge."
"You know you’re a trainer when you can tell someone to ‘squat’ or ‘eat cake’ every day!"
"If you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough. Just keep your friends close and snacks closer!"
"Remember, you’re one workout away from a better mood. But also one dessert away from a worse mood!"
"I have a personal trainer. His name is 'Motivation'! And he takes frequent breaks."
"When nothing goes right, go lift weights—and then lift donuts!"
"Every time I hear 'No pain, no gain,' I just think 'No pain, no pizza!'"
"Why do they call it 'personal training'? Because 'fun torture' was already taken!"
"I’m in shape. Round is a shape!"
"My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine."
"The gym is my therapy, especially the snack section!"
"Fitness is like a relationship: it helps if you cheat occasionally."
"Exercise can be fun. Just don’t let your trainer know that you like it!"
"I work out because I want to be able to eat desserts guilt-free!"
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