74 result(s) for Funny New Year Quotes.
"This year may God motivate you to indulge less in office gossips. Happy New Year!"
"I would say Happy New Year but it's not happy; it's exactly the same as last year except colder."
"My New Year's resolution is to break my New Year's resolutions. That way I succeed at something!"
"May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did."
"Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"
"My New Year's resolution is to be more like you. Sorry but you must be a legend if everyone is imitating you."
"All I am asking this year is some luck. Believe me, I have enough talent to get success."
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"My New Year's resolution is to remember to write '2019' instead of '2018'."
"Here's to a fresh start and a new beginning. May your New Year be filled with lots of laughter."
"My New Year's resolution is to be happy, because the world needs more happy souls."
"People treat New Year's like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it's probably still going to suck tomorrow."
"May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall, and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest never rise."
"This year may God inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course."
"My New Year's resolution is to eat less and exercise more... but one of them must go!"
"May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early!"
"My New Year's resolution is to always keep my cakehole shut when I have sock in it."
"This year, I'm going to make a resolution I can actually keep: no dieting all year long."
"A new year is unfolding - like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within."
"My New Year's resolution is to break my New Year's resolutions... that way I succeed at something!"
"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions."
"I'm not even going to wish for a ‘new year, new me.’ I'm just going to hope for a ‘new year, same old me.’"
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"My New Year's resolution is to be more humble this year, even though I'm already pretty much perfect."
"May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year's resolutions."
"Approach the New Year with resolve to find the opportunities hidden in each new day."
"I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person."
"My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions."
"New Year’s Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usually."
"This year, I’m going to make a resolution I can actually keep: no dieting all year long."
"May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door!"
"A new year is unfolding – like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within."
"My New Year’s resolution is to break my New Year’s resolutions… that way I succeed at something!"
"My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey."
"I would quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter."
"May all your troubles in the coming year be as short as your New Year's resolutions."
"I'm planning on finding new and interesting ways to avoid putting on pants this year."
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"May all your problems vanish as quickly as your new year's resolutions!"
"New Year's Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
"The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears."
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
"Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one."
"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."
"And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been."
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
"New Year's Day is every man's birthday."
"Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year."
"Your success and happiness lie in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties."
"New Year’s Day: now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual!"
"The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals."
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!"
"My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full... with either rum, vodka, or whiskey."
"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to."
"All I want this New Year is a little bit of love and a whole lot of laughter."
"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other."
"New Year's Day... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
"My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions."
"May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions!"
"I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person."
"New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive."
"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in; a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
"My New Year's resolution is to remember to write '2022' instead of '2021'."
"You can get excited about the future. The past won’t mind."
"In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want."
"I hope the year is brighter than the one passed, good health and happiness and peace that will last."
"This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change."
"365 new days, 365 new chances."
"New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time."
"This year, be structured enough for success and achievement and flexible enough for creativity and fun."
"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions."
"Every year, I make a resolution to be myself, but circumstances change me."
"New Year's Resolution: To wade through the darkness, to always seek the light."
"Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer."
"Learn the lesson from last year and move forward to make 2022 a great year."
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