107 result(s) for Funny Dog Quotes.
"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach."
"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
"If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am."
"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent."
"Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses."
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"From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog."
"Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative."
"My fashion philosophy is if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty."
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went."
"In dog years, I'm dead."
"A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won't be too bad."
"If you want loyalty, get a dog. If you want loyalty and attention, get a smart dog."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn't ever know we had."
"Every dog has his day, unless he loses his tail, then he has a weak-end."
"You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him."
"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t even know we had."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."
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"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."
"The more I see of man, the more I like dogs."
"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them."
"Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really."
"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs."
"Why does watching a dog be a dog fill one with happiness?"
"Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job."
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love."
"Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one is a life diminished."
"Every dog must have his day."
"Dogs never fail to amaze me with their ability to love unconditionally."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies."
"The best therapist has fur and four legs."
"My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, then your life is empty."
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"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
"The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog."
"In the eyes of a dog, a kind gesture from you is everything."
"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them."
"Love is a four-legged word."
"When an eighty-five-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad."
"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's."
"A dog is the only thing that can mend a crack in your broken heart."
"If you want a friend, buy a dog."
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
"Dog hair is my glitter."
"It's not a home without fur-kids."
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
"The more people I meet the more I like my dog."
"Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn't ever know we had."
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them."
"Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail."
"Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."
"Dogs are my favorite people."
"You know, a dog can snap you out of any kind of bad mood that you're in faster than you can think of."
"My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty."
"In life, it's not about where you go, but who goes with you."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
"A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems."
"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."
"The world doesn't make sense until you have a dog to share it with."
"The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants."
"Happiness is a warm puppy."
"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does."
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
"Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong."
"Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen."
"Dogs never lie about love."
"Be the person your dog thinks you are."
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money."
"I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
"I want to work like a dog, doing what I was born to do with passion and joy."
"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving him only two of them."
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
"To err is human – to forgive, canine."
"I like dogs; you always know what a dog is thinking. It has four moods. Happy, sad, cross and concentrating. Also, dogs are faithful and they do not lie because they cannot talk."
"Don't accept a dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
"A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it."
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
"Handle every situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away."
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."
"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue."
"My main characters are the most real to me, and each one feels like a dog I've adopted—with their own personalities, quirks, and problems."
"I once gave my dog the script for Hamlet. He sat in the corner and just gnawed on it."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
"My cats inspire me daily. Every morning they inspire me to get out of bed so I can feed them."
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
"I once tried to give my dog a bath. He jumped out of the tub and ran through the house, completely naked. It was a sight to behold."
"I've found that the only way to get a dog to listen to you is to talk to them about food."
"My dog is always happy to see me, unless I have to give him a bath."
"I'm not sure what my dog does when I'm not home, but I'm pretty sure it involves eating my shoes and watching reality TV."
"My dog is my best friend, but he's also my worst enemy... especially when he steals my socks."
"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
"To err is human; to forgive, canine."
"My dog's motto is: 'If I can't eat it or play with it, I'll pee on it.'"
"Every dog is a genius, until he puts on a leash."
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, your dog would get in and you would stay out."
"My dog has a busy tail-wagging schedule."
"My dog can sit, stay, rollover, and beg. I just wish he could learn to fetch me better job opportunities."
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