100 result(s) for Funny Irish Quotes.
"May the road rise up to meet you. And may it be a downhill one!"
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
"I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. It's sort of a national pastime."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"I come from an Irish family. People think they're a lot of drunks, but that's only half of it. The other half is about fighting."
"I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner."
"May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door."
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"If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go; you'll find family."
"The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another."
"I wish you health, I wish you well, and happiness galore. I wish you luck for you and friends; what could I wish you more? May your joys be as deep as the oceans, your troubles as light as its foam. And may you find sweet peace of mind, wherever you may roam."
"The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, for all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad."
"Being Irish, I always had this love of words."
"The Irish are the best storytellers in the world, and they've proven that over and over."
"In Ireland the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs."
"The Irish are the only people who know how to fail successfully."
"In Ireland, the land of saints and scholars, they seek after knowledge abroad and the joy of life at home."
"I think being a woman is like being Irish... Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the time."
"You gotta try your luck at least once a day because you could be going around lucky all day and not even know it."
"I'm spoiled, it's true. I don't even know how to use a coaster."
"I'm really secure with myself. I'm fine being alone."
"May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back... unless you're driving a convertible."
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"I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt."
"There are only two kinds of people in the world, the Irish and those who wish they were."
"The Irish don't know what they want, and are prepared to fight to the death to get it."
"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."
"Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck!"
"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk."
"May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends beneath it never fall out."
"If you're lucky enough to be Irish, then you're lucky enough."
"The only sure thing about luck is that it will change."
"An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination."
"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
"The Irish fight in words, not in arms."
"Do you know why the Irish always fight each other? To be sure who the mother of the victorious one will be."
"I come from an Irish family. That is, I come from an extremely large family."
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"May God grant you many years to live, for sure He must be knowing, the earth has angels all too few and heaven is overflowing."
"The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill."
"May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live."
"There are no strangers here; only friends you haven't yet met."
"I'm an Irish woman. I don't malign people. I like everybody."
"May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back."
"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy that sustained him through temporary periods of joy."
"You've got to do your own growing no matter how tall your father was."
"It is the good horse that draws its own cart."
"God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world."
"Like the warmth of the sun and the light of the day, may the luck of the Irish shine bright on your way."
"Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is."
"May you have love that never ends, lots of money, and lots of friends. Health be yours, whatever you do, and may God send many blessings to you!"
"May you live to be a hundred years, with one extra year to repent."
"The best way to keep loyalty in a man's heart is to keep money in his purse."
"Grant me a sense of humor, Lord, the saving grace to see a joke, to win some happiness from life, and pass it on to other folks."
"May the luck of the Irish possess you. May the devil fly off with you!"
"A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote. A journalist makes up his lies, and takes you by the throat."
"May your heart be light and happy, may your smile be big and wide, and may your pockets always have a coin or two inside!"
"May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you."
"May your home always be too small to hold all your friends."
"May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty."
"I'm an atheist, thank God."
"An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth."
"The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent."
"You'll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind."
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
"Never bolt your door with a boiled carrot."
"I believe in the sun when it's not shining, I believe in love even when I feel it not, I believe in God even when he is silent."
"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for."
"Here's to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint and another one!"
"It is often that a person's mouth broke his nose."
"A kind word never broke anyone's mouth."
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was."
"May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light. May good luck pursue you each morning and night."
"Ireland is where strange tales begin and happy endings are possible."
"There are no strangers here, just friends who haven't met yet."
"May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all the way to your door."
"It takes time to build castles."
"May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends."
"A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures."
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your father was."
"I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. It's in my genes."
"The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch."
"I'm Irish and I've got a long, long ways to go before I'm comfortable being myself."
"God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world."
"The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it."
"In Ireland, the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs."
"If you're lucky enough to be Irish, you're lucky enough."
"The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another."
"When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark, and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious."
"There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting."
"An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting."
"The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots."
"Never iron a four-leaf clover, because you don't want to press your luck."
"The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world."
"You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer."
"The Irish are the best people in the world, and the only people who really live in it."
"If you want a valuable friend that will give you the most they have, get yourself a good dog, Irish."
"The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination."
"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy."
"An Irishman can forget anything but forgiveness."
"Life is like a cup of tea, it's all in how you make it."
"Don't be breaking your shin on a stool that's not in your way."
"The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried."
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