102 result(s) for Funny Retirement Quotes.
"Retirement is like a permanent weekend... but with no Monday blues!"
"Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working on living."
"Retirement is having a permanent 'Out of Office' message."
"Retirement: It's the only time when you can have a life of leisure and still feel like you're busy."
"Retirement: No alarm clock, no commute, no deadlines... just bliss!"
"Retirement is the sweet reward after a lifetime of alarms."
"Retirement: Because you've worked hard enough flipping burgers - now it's time to flip over your pillow and get some rest."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"Retirement is like a long vacation that never ends... with better benefits!"
"Retirement: Finally, time to stop counting the hours and start making the hours count."
"Retirement is when you trade your boss for a golf course."
"Retirement: Where every day is Saturday, but without all the chores."
"Retirement is having the time to read all those 'How to retire happily' books you never had time for."
"Retirement is the perfect excuse to spend all day in your pajamas."
"Retirement: When you can finally put your feet up and let the grass grow under them."
"Retirement is making up for all the sleep lost during your working years."
"Retirement: It's not the end of the road, it's just a rest stop for the journey called life."
"Retirement is the beginning of a new chapter... one where you write the story."
"Retirement: The transition from 'living to work' to 'working on living'."
"Retirement is when you start living a treasure hunt for all the things you love to do."
"Retirement: Because the only suit you need now is a birthday suit."
"Retirement is when you can finally RSVP 'Yes' to life's invitations."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"Retirement: It's never too late to have a happy childhood again."
"Retirement is the phase of life where you clock out from work and clock in to fun."
"Retirement is when you feel like a kid again, but with an adult's wallet."
"I'm not retiring, I'm just switching my focus to nap more."
"Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money."
"Retirement is the sweet time that comes right after you blow out the candles on your last career anniversary cake."
"Retirement: Where every day is a Saturday, but every night is a Monday morning."
"Retirement is the moment where you stop making a living and start creating a life."
"I'm not retiring, I'm just entering a new phase of unpaid employment."
"Retirement is the perfect time to become the person you always wanted to be."
"Retirement: Life's way of telling you that your weekends have now officially become your full-time job."
"Retirement is when you trade your aspirations for your insomniac time."
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Florida. You can't wait to get there, and you can't wait to leave."
"Retirement is the beginning of new and exciting challenges, like figuring out what day of the week it is without the office calendar."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"Retirement: Where every day is a Saturday, but with more doctor appointments."
"Retirement is the time when you trade your boss for the golf course."
"Retirement is the moment in life when you stop explaining how busy you are and start explaining how busy you aren't."
"Retirement is the ultimate RSVP to the party of life."
"Retirement is being able to say 'I don't have time for that' and actually mean it."
"Retirement is when you stop living by the clock and start living by the season."
"Retirement is the blank page where you get to write the stories of your own life."
"Retirement is the only time when you can count on all your ducks being in a row."
"Retirement is the golden handshake that feels like a high five."
"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."
"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."
"Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to."
"The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does."
"Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself."
"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income."
"Retirement is the working person's wish come true. To be able to engage in (whatever) activities that they so desire."
"Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun."
"Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.'"
"Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard."
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money."
"Don't act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been."
"Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese."
"Planning to retire? Before you do, find your hidden passion, do the thing that you have always wanted to do."
"Retire from work, but not from life."
"Retire from work, but not from functioning. My dad is 87 and he’s more vibrant than I am."
"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy."
"Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it."
"Life begins at retirement."
"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf."
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
"You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream."
"Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for."
"Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway."
"Retirement is the only time in your life when you can have a life without having a job."
"Retirement - the only time in your life when it's socially acceptable to do nothing."
"Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different."
"Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house."
"There's never enough time to do all the things one never gets around to."
"Retirement is not the end of the road, it is the beginning of a highway."
"Retirement is just a never-ending coffee break."
"Retirement: World's longest coffee break."
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money."
"Retirement: World's longest coffee break"
"Retirement is the only time when you can have a life without having a job."
"Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese."
"Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials — much to live on and much to live for."
"Retirement: Stop worrying about the clock and start keeping an eye on your timetable."
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money."
"Retirement is not the end of the road. It is simply the beginning of a new journey."
"Retirement is the time to set new goals and chase new dreams."
"Retirement: Half the money, twice the husband."
"Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living."
"Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end."
"Retirement is the perfect time to catch up on all the things you didn't have time for when you were working — like sleep!"
"Retirement is the time to give full time to your passion, hobby, and love. Enjoy your extraordinary life!"
"Retirement is the best time to take advantage of all the discounts you get — senior citizens, the world is your oyster!"
"Retirement: Relax, you've put in your time. Now you can watch the clock and enjoy every minute!"
"Retirement is the time to stop and smell the roses... and then plant some more."
"Retirement is like a long weekend. Except that on Tuesday, you'll still be retired."
"Retirement is the time to start living like a teenager all over again — just without all the drama."
"In retirement, every day is Saturday, except you can enjoy it without the guilt of not getting anything done."
"Retirement: The time when you never have to set the alarm for tomorrow morning ever again."
"Retirement: To have the time to think new thoughts and forget old grudges."
"Retirement is having nothing to do and all day to do it."
"Retirement is the opportunity to do nothing and find out that it was working just fine."
"Retirement is like a long vacation: You get to enjoy the sun, spend time with family, and realize there's nothing else you really need to do."
"Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money; it's just time."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
