121 result(s) for Funny Golf Ball Quotes.
"Golf: a five-mile walk punctuated by disappointments."
"There are no bad golfers, only bad shots."
"I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators."
"The golf ball is like a guy's ego. Just when you think you know how to handle it, it surprises you."
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."
"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure I am."
"Golf is like marriage; if you take yourself too seriously it won't work."
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"My golf game is so bad that I had to get a new ball; it was getting tired of getting scuffed."
"Golf is a sport where you can enjoy a terrible day on the course — as long as you enjoy it with friends."
"When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit."
"Why do we spend so much time golf? Maybe because it is the only sport where we can swing a club at something and still go home at the end of the day."
"Golf balls are like women. They both take a lot of time to feel comfortable with."
"A golf ball is easier to buy than a new friend."
"I'm not saying I’m the best golfer, but I did manage to improve my astigmatism with each slice."
"I hit a golf ball like I hit my best friends — an excited smack followed by an apology."
"Golf: where the only thing getting hurt is the grass."
"The smart play is to never let the ball hit you, but every golfer knows that's not the real game."
"Sink the putt or drown your worries — either way, you are going down."
"Golfers never get hurt. The worst they'll get is a broken tee."
"The secret to a great golf swing is simple: don't forget to breathe and resist the urge to scream."
"If you can't play well, at least look good in your golf clothes."
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"Golf is a game that is played on a green patch of heaven, filled with touches of humor and a lot of anger."
"A golfer can never be too funny, because excuses for bad shots are always a hit."
"Golf is a long walk spoiled by a lot of hacks with a dress code."
"A bad day of golf is still better than a good day at work."
"Golf: a game in which you yell 'fore!', shoot six, and write down five."
"I’m not saying I’m a bad golfer, but if I played in a pro tournament, I’d be the first one to finish."
"Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players lie well."
"Golf is about patience and perseverance. I play very poorly, but I look good doing it."
"It took me 20 years to get a hole in one."
"The older I get, the better I was at golf."
"If I had to give you one tip for the future, it would be to hit a golf ball harder than it's ever been hit before."
"I play golf to help me relax. It worked until I found myself getting upset over a 4-foot putt."
"You know you're a bad golfer when you're happy for a double-bogey."
"Golf: The art of keeping the ball in the air longer than it takes me to get to it."
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"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Every time I see a golf ball, I think it’s time to take a break from my diet."
"I can’t putt. I can’t chip. I can’t hit off the tee. But I am great at playing golf."
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
"I’m not a bad golfer, I just have a collection of bad golf shots."
"Golf: the only game where the ball lies poorly and the players lie well."
"I only ever hit the golf ball 10 yards, but I talk about it like it’s 100."
"There’s a fine line between a hobby and mental illness."
"In golf, the ball is always in play. Just like my pants when I was a kid."
"Golfers aren’t ‘getting old.’ They’re ‘gaining experience.’"
"Good golfers have a good short game; great golfers know where they’re going with every shot."
"Golf is fun, but I’m serious about not being too serious about it!"
"Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfer lies well."
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
"I’m not saying I’m a bad golfer, but I’ve had more than one ball return to me after I hit it."
"I used to be a pro at golf; now I’m just a good walk again!"
"Why do golf announcers whisper? Because they have a lot of holes to cover."
"Golf: the art of using a five-iron to make a divot out of your wallet."
"You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about."
"A lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep... unless it’s golf."
"Some golfers can’t putt. Some can’t chip. I can’t even swing!"
"The secret of golf is to make the simplest shots the hardest."
"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."
"Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously, it won’t work."
"A golfer’s diet: live on greens as long as it’s not the golf course."
"The two most important things to remember on the golf course are: 1. Don’t take yourself too seriously. 2. Don’t hit the ball into the water."
"Golf: a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five."
"Golf is the only game where you can yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five."
"If you think golf is a waste of time, you haven’t played enough."
"There are three ways to improve your golf game: bring a better player, practice more, or stop playing with your friends."
"Golfers are like activists: they both want to change the world, but they can't stop hitting problems with clubs."
"Golf is an easy game, but hard to play."
"I tried to catch some fog. I mist."
"The only tournament I ever led was in a car race. All right, it wasn’t a race. Just me driving faster than me."
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five."
"I play golf to wear clothes I wouldn't be caught dead in otherwise."
"The most important shot in golf is the next one."
"Golf: a good walk spoiled."
"I got a golf ball in my throat once. Took me two weeks to get it out."
"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser."
"Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole."
"If golfers could just get rid of all their handicaps, they'd be much better at golf."
"There are no problems, only challenges to be overcome."
"It’s a funny thing, the more I practice, the luckier I get."
"Golfers are the only people who can be happy when they miss their target."
"You know you’re a golfer when you walk two miles to keep from getting a stroke."
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
"I don't need to know how to putt because I don't plan on missing any."
"Golf is like marriage; if you take yourself too seriously, it won't work."
"A good golfer is quite simply a bad golfer who is not quite so bad anymore."
"The golf ball doesn’t really care what you think of it."
"Why do golfers bring two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!"
"I'm hitting the ball so far, I think I should call it a driving range."
"Golfing is just a way to waste an afternoon."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"Every time I try to read the rules of golf, I end up wondering why I play the game at all."
"Golfers are forever blundering into their own jokes!"
"I have a fear of large animals, including golf balls."
"There are two kinds of people: those who play golf and those who don't."
"I'm not saying I'm the best, but I am better than all the rest."
"The only time my golf ball is in the air is when I’m hitting it in a bunker."
"Golf: a five-mile walk punctuated with disappointment and bad luck."
"I’m not saying my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced."
"Golf is to a golfer what a violin is to a musician; it’s a sad story over the course of a lifetime."
"There’s no way to putt a golf ball into the hole without the potential for great embarrassment."
"If I hit a shot that goes 10 feet straight, my friends have a party to celebrate."
"Golf: the only sport where you can yell ‘fore!’ and it’s not a warning for a punchline."
"My favourite golf club? It’s the one that can take me to the bar."
"Golf is like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and wind up in the hole."
"I don’t always play golf, but when I do, I prefer to embarrass myself."
"A bad day on the golf course is better than a good day in the office."
"I’d rather be on the golf course than in a therapy session."
"The secret of golf is no secret at all. Just grip and rip it, and then get it from the bottom of that pond!"
"Behind every great golfer, there’s a lot of bad shots."
"What’s the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? They both can get lost in their own sand traps."
"I play golf so I can afford my therapy."
"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!"
"Golf is a way of life. So is watching it on TV with snacks."
"My swing is so bad that I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn—if I were inside it!"
"Golfers are like people with a bad haircut; they will defend their shots until their last breath."
"I’ve never met a golf ball that I couldn’t annoy."
"Driving on the golf course is better than driving a car if you just want to get lost."
"The best part of golf is the drink after… or during!"
"I’m pretty sure I was a golf ball in a past life—lots of ups and downs."
"Every time I hit a shot, I envision a crowd cheering. Too bad it’s just my imagination."
"On the course, I’m always putting my foot in my mouth. And sometimes, my entire body!"
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