126 result(s) for Funny Car Quotes.
"My car is not a trash can. What’s that? You say it is? Well, that’s an argument for which I have no defense!"
"If you're going to drive, be funny. If you're going to be funny, drive."
"I bought a car that’s so old, it came with a free VHS tape of 'Gone with the Wind'."
"I can’t believe I drove that car for ten years. It was like a group therapy session, but I'm still not better."
"I love when the car breaks down, I just wish it wouldn't happen during rush hour."
"My car doesn't have a reverse. I think it’s a sign I should stop running from my problems."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug and said, ‘Get in the car.’"
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"You know you’re getting old when you have more car insurance than friends."
"I tried to be a mechanic, but I couldn't find the screws that hold my sanity together."
"I asked the car dealer for something to make me feel younger, so he sold me a used Volkswagen."
"I don't mind getting older, but my car is starting to look like a classic."
"Every time I turn around, my car is playing tricks on me. I can never find it in the parking lot."
"They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a new car, and that's pretty close!"
"My car and I have a special relationship. She complains about my driving, and I ignore her."
"I once had a car that could take me anywhere, but it still chose to break down on the way to work."
"I bought a car that runs on one cylinder. Every time it runs, I hold my breath!"
"I love my car so much, I even named it after my ex. It’s equally catastrophic."
"My car is like my best friend; it lets me down when I need it the most."
"Every time I fill up my gas tank, I feel like I'm playing Russian roulette with my budget."
"I took my car to the doctor; he said it's a classic, but I'm not sure if he meant it's old or if it’s a collector’s item."
"My car is so old, it doesn’t have a rear view mirror—just a ‘don’t look back’ sticker!"
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"If I had a dollar for every mile I’ve put on my car, I would still be broke after gas."
"My mechanic told me to do my regular maintenance: crank it up, let it run, then pray."
"I never get lost; I just take the scenic route that lasts longer than expected."
"I told my car to stop whining. It just hums a little louder."
"My car isn’t a total lemon; it just has a few too many pits!"
"I can’t drive 55!"
"My car is a piece of junk, but it’s my junk!"
"If the car is not a real car, it should be on a t-shirt."
"I'm not saying my car is old, but it has a built-in cassette deck."
"My other car is a broom."
"The only thing worse than a car that won't start is a car that starts when you don't want it to."
"The four wheels move the body, but the driver moves the soul."
"I told my car it was going to die, and it crashed into a fence."
"I'm in a love affair with my car; it never argues or complains."
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"Honk if you love peace and quiet."
"I saw a sign that said 'Watch for children' and I thought, 'That sounds like a fair trade.'"
"Every time I go to the bank, I see no cars. Maybe they don't know how to park it!"
"I don't drive fast. I just fly low."
"I don't care how slowly you go as long as you don't stop."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you don’t know what’s funny."
"Cars are like my kids; they may not be perfect, but I still love them."
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly."
"To be happy, you must be able to get into your car without breaking down."
"A good driver is one who knows how to take a turn without a signal."
"A man in love with his car has a serious problem."
"You know you’re getting old when your back goes out more than you do."
"I finally got my driver's license — boy, was that a long and winding road!"
"I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself."
"The car is the most beautiful runway."
"I have a passion for cars. You could say I'm a bit of a car nut."
"I guess I should've accepted that 'death trap' was a figurative term."
"A car is not the only way to get from A to B, especially if you have a good pair of shoes."
"I only drive for fun. Well, this is fun... and a little tragic."
"With great power, comes great gas mileage."
"It’s not how fast you go, but how you get there that counts."
"My dream car? The one that can fly and has a kitchen."
"The road is a funny place. One minute you're cruising, the next you're stuck behind a guy trying to parallel park a couch."
"You know you're a car guy when you know your favorite car like you know your own reflection."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a car, and that’s pretty close."
"My car and I are like the perfect couple: I love her, and she occasionally stalls out."
"I'd rather push my car than drive a bad car."
"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it."
"Never lend your car to anyone you don’t want to see out of it."
"My other car is a broomstick."
"Driving is like a relationship; if you want it to last, you have to put in some effort!"
"You can’t outdrive your problems, but you can sure outrun them."
"May your coffee be strong and your car be fast."
"The only thing better than a new car smell is the smell of a new pair of tires."
"Running out of gas is a great way to discover how far you can go without it."
"It's not just a car; it's a personality on wheels!"
"The only thing more fun than driving is being in the passenger seat and telling someone else what to do."
"I told my car it needed a break, and now it won’t stop making weird noises!"
"I don’t know why they call it a ‘car’, it’s really just a mobile little box of sadness."
"My car is not just a vehicle, it’s a mobile make-out closet!"
"If you think the world is full of idiots just take a drive down the freeway."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
"I told my car I needed a break. It responded by breaking down."
"I don't need a therapist. My car and I can go for a drive."
"Driving a car is like a relationship: the more you understand her, the smoother the ride."
"I went to buy a camo jacket but couldn’t find one."
"I don’t drive fast. I fly low."
"There is no greater pleasure than driving a convertible on a sunny day."
"Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left."
"My car isn’t a junker; it’s a classic in vintage condition!"
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt."
"If you want to get somewhere quickly, take a deep breath and relax in your car."
"Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel."
"The only thing worse than getting lost in your car is getting lost in your thoughts!"
"My car is like a relationship; it requires maintenance, attention, and occasional tears."
"You know you're a car enthusiast when you have more than one car in your dreams."
"Good things come to those who wait… after the traffic light turns green."
"Always look at the bright side of the road."
"I love driving; it’s much more fun than talking!"
"Never let an engine idle longer than you can hold your breath!"
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy a car - and that's pretty close."
"I couldn’t find my car keys, so I had to just drive my scooter. More horsepower, less headache."
"I have a joke about a car, but it’s a little too exhaust-ing!"
"Life is too short to drive boring cars."
"I told my car it had to stop running from my problems. It’s still in denial."
"My car is like my best friend – it gets me where I need to go, but it also takes a long time to get ready."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy a car, and that's pretty close."
"You know you're a car guy when you look at a car and think – there’s nothing wrong with that car that a little money and a big hammer couldn’t fix."
"Why did the car break up with the motorcycle? Because it couldn’t handle the ride!"
"I took my car to the beach today. It got a tan and is now halfway to being a convertible!"
"I only drive on two occasions: when it’s raining and when I’m late."
"My car gets all the attention because it's a classic. I mean, who doesn't love an old ride that doesn't start?"
"I named my car 'Carmen' because it’s a little feisty and it always gets me into a jam!"
"Cars are like software. If they don’t work, they’re just a bunch of bits and bolts."
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop for cars."
"Invest in a good car – you never know when someone will need a ride to the party!"
"They say cars have souls, but mine’s always feeling a little tired."
"What do you call a car that never stops? A 'carnival' ride!"
"I drive too fast to worry about cholesterol."
"Your car doesn’t care how you feel, it just wants to go where it wants to go."
"My car is smart, but it doesn’t come with a manual on understanding me."
"Driving a car is like dating – the more you do it, the better you get at handling the curves."
"My car's fuel efficiency is great. It eats everywhere I take it!"
"A good friend will lend you a car. A best friend will help you repair it."
"Why do cars always seem to stop during the brightest sun? It's because they want a little shade!"
"I can’t help but smile when I see my car. It’s like having a mobile piece of happiness."
"I wanted a silent car, so I bought a Liberating 2018 model – it doesn't start!"
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. Except about my car – it’s always red!"
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