125 result(s) for Family Guy Quotes.
"I can't believe I’m saying this, but I think I may have finally found my true calling in life. I’m a father, and that’s a job worth doing right."
"Lois, if I'm not back in five minutes...wait longer!"
"I don’t have a good personality, but I can keep a secret!"
"I'm not a bad guy. I just...chose the wrong thing to do."
"You know what really grinds my gears? People who make fun of my family!"
"Aha! You just got served!"
"I am going to have a great life. I will be successful and do all the things I want to do. Except the things I don’t want to do."
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"I was raised as a Catholic, so I don't know if I believe in love or science. That’s what I’ve got to figure out."
"It's always a good idea to have a new plan."
"I’m going to make you do the Lionel Richie dance!"
"I want to die with dignity!"
"For God's sake, don't call me 'fat'!"
"I'd like to take a moment to appreciate my abs. Yeah. They're good abs."
"I don’t need the stupid 2020 experience. I just want to chill and play video games."
"Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion."
"The things you own end up owning you."
"We all have to take risks in life to succeed."
"I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!"
"I can't wait to be old enough never to have to go on another Family Guy adventure!"
"Show me what you got!"
"I don't think I've ever seen you go to church. How do you make your vows?"
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"I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks."
"I love you, in a weird way."
"I don't want to make decisions. I want to live without pressure!"
"You know, a lot of people in the world are going to die who don't deserve it."
"I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m pretty sure my idea is better than yours."
"I'm not a bad guy. I just like to do bad things."
"It's all coming together!"
"I can't believe it's not butter!"
"Why are you crying? You didn't even know him!"
"If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture!"
"God, I'm so lonely. It's a good thing I have some pizza rolls in the oven."
"I'm going to do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat, and survive!"
"I have a very strict policy on the usage of the word 'loophole.' It shouldn't be used."
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
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"The laws of physics are nothing compared to the laws of me!"
"I didn't do it! You can't prove anything!"
"I am going to do what I do best: bugger up their lives."
"This is what I have to deal with. A fat man and a talking dog."
"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"
"I am not your friend. I am your overlord."
"It’s the circle of life, and it moves us all."
"It’s funny how the odds work out like that."
"You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on a good time."
"I just wanted to tell you that you are the worst person in the world."
"I’m not a monster! I’m just a character."
"I will not be ignored!"
"Sometimes you gotta be a hero. And sometimes you gotta eat your twin."
"What’s the point of being a hero if no one knows it was you?"
"I love you, Lois. But there's also a part of me that wants to burn your house down."
"I can't believe I got fired for being a bad parent."
"You know, I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"It's a hard-knock life for us."
"I have a very strict policy that I only date women who are of the highest caliber."
"I don't care what you think. I'm a dog!"
"Life is a series of choices, and I've made some terrible ones."
"I’m not a dog. I’m a dog in a person’s body."
"You can’t just lie there and expect life to be good."
"Sometimes you just have to embrace the chaos."
"I’m a stay-at-home mom, and I love it!"
"Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?"
"We all have to face things we're not comfortable with."
"Remember, the most important thing is to be happy!"
"I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about playing on a team."
"You know you made it when your family hates you."
"Do you think I am a moron?"
"I just wanna be loved!"
"It’s hard being the ugly daughter."
"You just can't choose your family."
"Somebody's got to get their life together!"
"Giggity giggity goo!"
"I’ve never met a woman I couldn’t charm."
"This is my happy place!"
"The only thing I care about is winning!"
"You know what this calls for? A celebration! I think I’ll bake a cake."
"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve learned that I have to try to act less like Peter and more like a responsible adult! And that’s why I’m going to throw a big party! Who’s with me?"
"I am a maroon!"
"You know what really grinds my gears?"
"Lois, if I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!"
"With great mustache comes great responsibility."
"I’m going to take this one out for a walk."
"I wish I could be a little bit more like you. You know, just a regular guy. But I'm not."
"Oh, you know, I love a good political debate while I'm wearing my bed sheets!"
"What the deuce?"
"I don't care what you think, Brian, I know I'm funny!"
"This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black!"
"I’m not a bad guy; I’m just a guy who does bad things!"
"The only reason you don’t get along with me is because you have those weird hang-ups about friendship!"
"I’m not a monster! I’m a man!"
"It’s not a matter of life and death, it’s a matter of life and death and gravity!"
"You can’t just sit around and wait for adventure to come knocking on your door. Sometimes you have to go out and find it!"
"I hate people who misuse the word literally."
"Sometimes, you gotta fake it to make it."
"I have a kitty cat! What do you have?"
"I’d like to take you to the beach, but I don’t want to be seen with you."
"You know, I’m kind of like a kid in a candy store. I mean, I’m not going to eat the candy, but I like to look at it!"
"A baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do!"
"I’m just saying that I don’t care what you think!"
"Sometimes you’ve got to put yourself out there, and risk it all!"
"I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a [expletive]."
"Victory is mine!"
"Freakin' sweet!"
"We're all gonna die. It's just a matter of when."
"I’m going to do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat, and survive!"
"I’m not a bad guy. I just do bad things."
"You know, it’s a good thing I’ve never been pregnant. I’d probably eat the whole time."
"Everyone's a critic."
"I can't believe it. I'm finally famous!"
"I can't keep pretending that I don't have a crush on him."
"This is the best day of my life! Until the next best day."
"You can't be a family guy without family."
"I will not sit down, I will not shut up, I will not go away!"
"You’re lucky I can’t put you down for a nap and leave you there."
"I love typewriters! I've always wanted to just write a letter, and not email it."
"I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!"
"Do you know what it’s like to have your whole life turned upside down? It's like being in a blender!"
"You know, being a parent is hard. But it’s worth it."
"If I’m not back in five minutes... wait longer!"
"Just because you're a villain doesn't mean you're a bad person."
"The key to happiness is doing what you love, without getting caught."
"I don’t want to be a handsome, successful, well-adjusted adult. I want to be a kid forever!"
"All I wanted was a glass of warm milk!"
"You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need."
"Life is a journey, not a destination."
"There’s a time to act and a time to worry."
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