134 result(s) for Don Rickles Quotes.
"I'm not a doctor, but I do play one on TV."
"I love people, but I can’t stand them."
"That’s the thing about jokes, they’re not for everyone."
"I'm a diplomat. I can say anything I want, but I know how to say it."
"Everybody has a story: If you're going to pull a joke, pull it right."
"I don’t even like myself. I’m a bum!"
"Being a comedian is a very high calling. You’re supposed to be funny."
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"The job is to make people laugh. Who cares about my feelings?"
"If you can make it in show business, you can make it in anything."
"My humor is a little rough and ready."
"I’m not a negative person. I'm just realistic about people."
"I can’t help it if I’m funny. I was born this way."
"I’ve been married for 50 years. The secret is showing up."
"I like to think people love me like I love them: with a good dose of sarcasm."
"The audience is like a family to me, and every family has its quirks."
"My material comes from life experience, a lot of judgment and a little bit of truth."
"You learn to take the bad with the good, and the ribs are a good part!"
"I may be a little rough on the edges, but I’m all about love."
"You can’t be thin-skinned in this business."
"Real comedy is a reflection of real life."
"If I don’t break your heart, I’ll surely break your funny bone."
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"When you point a finger at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you."
"I only clap for people who are funny."
"Funny people can deal with pain better than anyone else."
"Comedy is just a way of getting through the day."
"You have to laugh. Otherwise, you’ll throw up."
"There’s always a comic in the room—don’t be afraid to poke the bear!"
"I can take it. The insults. The jokes. That's my life. That's the way I feel."
"I'm not a know-it-all, but I'm pretty good at selecting my targets."
"They say you can't take it with you, but I think you can take it if you can fool the people."
"The toughest thing about being funny is that you can't force it. You can plan for it, but it's got to come naturally."
"I don’t care if they boo. I don’t care if they leave. I just care about the laughs."
"I think I’m like a good burger. You can still enjoy it even if it’s a little charred."
"You’re a really great audience. You’re a terrible audience, but that’s why I love you."
"I think the genius of comedy is to be able to not just be funny, but to reach the soul."
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"It's all about timing. If you can get your punchline in at the right moment, you've got a golden shot."
"Family is the greatest thing. It’s your rooting section."
"Being an entertainer is being able to tap into the audience's heart."
"I do the best I can. If they laugh, great. If not, I try again."
"Find something in life that makes you want to get up each morning."
"People want to see someone they can relate to."
"I’m just going to keep doing what I do until they kick me out."
"My job is to entertain, not to win a popularity contest."
"I’m a pro. I’m not here to tell you why my jokes don’t work."
"When they stop laughing, that’s when I start whining."
"It’s cooler to be funny than to be good looking."
"The world is filled with shy people. I’m not one of them."
"I’ve learned that humor is a universal language."
"If you can’t take a joke, you shouldn’t start a conversation."
"I never wanted to be one of those guys that are just funny on stage."
"You can't make a mistake when you're trying to be funny."
"My comedy is like my life. You take risks and you laugh about it."
"Being insulted is like being kissed. It warms you up."
"If laughter is the best medicine, your audience is your doctor."
"I’m not a comic; I’m a personality. The truth is I don’t know what a comic is, but I know what I am."
"I think the world needs a little humor. God knows we need a break."
"I just think that if you’re going to do something, you’ve got to give it a shot."
"The humor is in the details."
"I don’t put people down, I just poke fun at them."
"I’m not mean-spirited. I just play a guy on TV."
"You know what they say, the bigger the guy, the tougher he is."
"I’ve been in the business for 55 years. I’ve seen it all."
"It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice."
"I’m the only guy who can make fun of you and you still pay me."
"When I’m on stage, I feel like I’m at home."
"My act is very spontaneous. I improvise."
"I have a great respect for the audience. They gave me what I have."
"I enjoy doing what I do because I enjoy making people laugh."
"It’s all about timing. You have to know when to bite."
"A lot of people think comedians just go up and joke. It’s more than that, it’s about connecting."
"You have to hit the audience with something fresh."
"I love the fact that I can make people laugh, it’s a gift."
"Some people take me seriously, and that’s their mistake."
"The best part of my life is making people laugh."
"Comedy is about honesty and truth."
"I’m not just a funny guy; I try to be real."
"There’s a thin line between being funny and being mean."
"I look at my guys, and I try to make them uncomfortable."
"With great respect comes great responsibility."
"I didn't know I was going to be famous! Isn't that amazing?"
"It’s all about making people happy."
"I’ve got a lot of friends who are famous, people like Bob Hope and Johnny Carson. I’m just a guy that goes out there and makes people laugh – and I’m not ashamed of it."
"People love insults, and they love to laugh. And the faster the better."
"You are the audience. I’m just a guy that comes out and insults you, and hopefully, you laugh at it."
"I’m not a comedian, I’m a professional insult artist!"
"Just because you’re a celebrity, it doesn’t mean you’re any better than anyone else. I’m not going to show you any respect."
"If you can take it, I can give it."
"I’m the king of insults. No one can insult like I can."
"You don’t need to be a narcissist to become a comedian; because if you think everybody loves you, you might end up being a dull comedian."
"The best way for a comedian to win an audience is to insult them – and make them laugh about it!"
"I have no political agenda; I’m just a comedian."
"I might insult you, but in a loving way."
"Comedy is all about timing. If the timing isn’t right, the joke will never land."
"I don’t care what you call me, just don’t call me late for dinner."
"I don’t think my comedy is offensive; I think it’s funny."
"When you go to a comedy show, you go to laugh. You shouldn’t expect compliments all night."
"There’s nothing funnier than birthday parties – especially when you’re not invited."
"You know you’re getting old when your back goes out more than you do."
"Good comedians can take a thought and make it into something funny."
"I love going on stage, and I love making people laugh. It’s what I do."
"I can read a room. And when the room isn’t laughing, I go for the gold – I insult them!"
"When you’re on stage, it’s showtime. You give it your all."
"I never cared for the critics. I create laughter, not opinions."
"If you want to be successful, you need to find your own voice in comedy."
"Insults can sometimes be the best form of affection."
"I don’t know how to explain my comedy; I just know that it works."
"My humor doesn’t just come from me; it comes from the world around me."
"The only thing I know is that I don’t know anything, and I’m just fine with that."
"I like to make people laugh, and if I insult someone, it’s all in good fun."
"You can’t be a comedian if you don’t have a sense of humor about yourself."
"The secret to my success? I’m not afraid to make a fool of myself."
"I have a lot of friends, but they'll tell you I'm tough to deal with because I’m basically tough on myself."
"I love all the people I insult; they make me very happy."
"My idea of a perfect day? Sleeping late, eating donuts, and not worrying about a thing."
"The more I insult people, the more they seem to adore me."
"I always told my parents I was going to be a star. My father laughed and said, ‘Yeah, with a face like that?’"
"I’m a comedian, and I’m proud of it. Don’t hold back on the punchlines."
"It’s not what you say, but how you say it that really counts."
"Get your act together, or you'll be the punchline."
"I came to the conclusion that laughing was the best way to cope with anything."
"I always say, ‘Bite me!’ to people who don’t get my style of humor."
"The best thing you can do is have a sense of humor in life; it really helps."
"You can tell a lot about a person by how they laugh and take a joke."
"If you don’t have a sense of humor about your faults, you’re not going to make it in life."
"My legacy? He made us smile, even when he was being a jerk."
"Remember, laughter is the best medicine, except for when you're at the doctor's."
"Roast me, trust me, it’s the best compliment."
"People can laugh at my jokes, or they can stick their head in the sand."
"I’m not afraid of hate; I’ve lived my whole life with it!"
"Comedy is all about timing. You have to know when to laugh and when to be serious."
"Insulting is an art form, but so is the ability to forgive!"
"You want to be a comedian? Grow thick skin and be ready to laugh at yourself."
"Life’s too short to take everything seriously; you must find humor in it."
"If you're going to upset people, you better do it with class!"
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