107 result(s) for Funny Love Quotes.
"I love you more than my morning coffee, but please don't make me prove it."
"My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays."
"Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there!"
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."
"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."
"Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy."
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"I love you, and that’s the beginning and end of everything."
"Being married is like having a sleepover with your best friend every night… except if you fall asleep first, you’re definitely going to regret it."
"You can't put a price on love, but you can on all its accessories."
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."
"I love you less than a toddler loves a tantrum."
"You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
"I like you because you join in on my weirdness."
"Love is the only thing that can make a woman give up her heart – and her bank account."
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
"I love you enough to complain about your bad habits. Love is not blind—it's just occasionally distracted."
"I didn't know my husband was a bad cook until he fixed me dinner. I should have noticed when he said, 'Can you move this?' and started putting food on top of the microwave."
"When you're in love, you know you can be silly together, and that makes it all worthwhile."
"They say that love is the best feeling in the world. But have you ever had a scoop of ice cream?"
"My love for you is like a fart. It’s loud and it stinks, but you can’t help but love it!"
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"I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot!"
"Love is sharing your popcorn. Even though you don't want to."
"I love you even when I’m hungry."
"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy!"
"Love is like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there!"
"I love you no matter how many times you steal the covers."
"Love is not having to hold in your farts."
"You’re the peanut butter to my jelly. You’re the cheese to my macaroni. You’re the cinnamon to my toast. You’re the reason I can’t go longer than 10 minutes without making a joke!"
"Every time I see you, I feel like I’m at the top of a rollercoaster. And then I remember I’m terrified of heights!"
"I didn't know how to love until I met you. Now, I'm pretty sure I'm just annoying you!"
"Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."
"I love to annoy you, but I love you more."
"A husband is what is left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed."
"I thought I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
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"You're the reason I wake up in the morning... just kidding, I always wake up for coffee."
"I love you to the moon and back. I also love outer space, which might not be what you want to hear."
"Forget the butterflies. I feel the whole zoo when I’m with you!"
"I love you more than you love your cat, and that’s saying something!"
"You're the cheese to my macaroni, but I'm still gonna squeeze the last piece."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband."
"I knew I loved you before I met you. Now let’s figure out a way to make this work without breaking the bank."
"Love is like a backache: it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there."
"You're the peanut butter to my jelly."
"If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito."
"We were on a break!"
"I love you more than my morning coffee, but please don’t make me choose."
"Love is being stupid together."
"I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger."
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. And let’s keep those two bodies in shape."
"The four most useful words in any marriage: 'I’ll do the dishes.'"
"I love you more than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow—hopefully after breakfast."
"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. After that, he’s finished."
"You had me at 'hello'… but I stayed for the tacos."
"I love you just the way you are. But if you could be a little more organized and less messy, that would be great."
"Falling in love is like owning a dog. It can be great, but it comes with a lot of responsibilities."
"I love you a latte!"
"A couple in love can talk without saying a word; but sometimes, it helps to say 'I need a snack.'"
"If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something!"
"I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it."
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?"
"My love for you is like a fart. It’s not bad until you try to hold it in."
"Love is like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there."
"I’m in love with you, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m pretty sure it’s a thing."
"Love is not about how many days, months, or years you have been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day."
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
"I’ve been in love with you since the very first time I saw you. And also since I saw you last week."
"Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one."
"Love is a two-way street constantly under construction."
"I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole."
"I'm not saying I don't love you. I just love you differently than I love chocolate. And for me, that’s saying something."
"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
"There is no remedy for love but to love more."
"I love you like a squirrel loves a nut."
"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"Love is like a butterfly: it goes where it pleases and it pleases wherever it goes."
"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia."
"You are my favorite notification."
"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying if they get there safely."
"Love is sharing your popcorn."
"I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important."
"I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger."
"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. After that, he’s finished."
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"Marriage is an awful sacrifice, but the best thing you can do is find someone who will laugh with you."
"Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there."
"I was blind, but now I see. I was broke, but now I’m in debt."
"I love you more than I hate my ex-husband."
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
"If you think that you’re too good for your partner, you’re wrong. They think that they’re too good for you too."
"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely."
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
"Love doesn’t make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
"I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I married you because you gave me a reason to believe in perfection."
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
"I thought I was done with love, but then I got another cat."
"Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap."
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
"Love is like a toilet seat; it can be hard to get used to."
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
"You're the cheese to my macaroni."
"I love you like a fat kid loves cake."
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