Memorable George Costanza Quotes

121 result(s) for George Costanza Quotes.
"I’m not a bad guy. I’ll let you live. Just don’t be an idiot."
George Costanza
"You can’t just sit there and wait for someone to come along and do something. You have to take the initiative."
George Costanza
"I’m the opposite of every guy you ever met."
George Costanza
"I’ve got a job and that job is to sit here and eat this sandwich."
George Costanza
"It’s not my fault what happened to you. I didn’t do anything to you."
George Costanza
"This is a disaster. It’s a crisis, a catastrophe!"
George Costanza
"I’m not a thinker, I’m a doer."
George Costanza
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"Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in a dream or in the Twilight Zone."
George Costanza
"It’s all about the sexual tension."
George Costanza
"You know what they say: ‘A man is only as good as his word.’"
George Costanza
"I got a bad feeling about this."
George Costanza
"You’re all the same. All of you! You all think you’re so special."
George Costanza
"By the way, I’m still waiting for my 15 minutes of fame."
George Costanza
"I can’t be a hero all the time."
George Costanza
"It's a bold move, Cotton. Let's see how it plays out."
George Costanza
"My whole life is a series of conflicts!"
George Costanza
"I’m not the one who's wrong. You’re the one who’s wrong!"
George Costanza
"I'm an idea man, Jerry."
George Costanza
"You're a funny guy, but you're not funny in a 'Ha Ha' way; you're funny in a 'That's Damned Weird' way."
George Costanza
"I live in a world of my own creation."
George Costanza
"I'm not a genius. I’m just a guy who thinks a lot."
George Costanza
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"People think I'm a loser, but I'm not a loser! I’m a master of my domain!"
George Costanza
"A woman can be your best friend or your worst enemy."
George Costanza
"I can't help but feel like I'm a little bit of an idiot."
George Costanza
"Just remember, it’s not a lie if you’re good at it."
George Costanza
"I’m an average nobody. Get the hell out of my here!"
George Costanza
"I’m not a bad guy. I’m just a little misunderstood."
George Costanza
"You know, it's not that I don't care. I just don't care about your problems."
George Costanza
"Do you realize how much longevity is in this career? The glory of getting a big job at a young age, it doesn't matter!"
George Costanza
"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"
George Costanza
"Sensitivity is what you're born with. That's the curse."
George Costanza
"I think I was made to suffer."
George Costanza
"I want to be a marine biologist!"
George Costanza
"I’m not a ‘bad boy’!"
George Costanza
"You can't just sit there and let life happen to you. You have to go out and make it happen!"
George Costanza
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"I'm a real loser."
George Costanza
"I’m not going to take this anymore!"
George Costanza
"I am confident, I am smart, I am successful!"
George Costanza
"You know the friends who you do some crazy things with? You can get away with things with them?"
George Costanza
"It’s a good thing I’m not in charge of my own life."
George Costanza
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."
George Costanza
"I'm not a nerd. I'm a 'geek'."
George Costanza
"To be a success in this world, you have to be a little bit of a lowlife."
George Costanza
"I choose not to run!"
George Costanza
"Life is all about choices."
George Costanza
"If you look righteous, you can see the righteous."
George Costanza
"Is it bad that I find it comforting to think about the end of the world?"
George Costanza
"I’m not a bad guy. I’m just a guy who happens to be a little bad."
George Costanza
"You know the type of person that would take those cookies? The same type that’s never had the last piece of pie."
George Costanza
"I have a bad feeling that I’m missing out on something. Or am I just paranoid?"
George Costanza
"It’s not a question of money; it’s a question of respect."
George Costanza
"I’m not a part of this, I am an observer."
George Costanza
"This is a terrible idea. Have you ever noticed all the people who are bald have no accent?"
George Costanza
"I’m an idea man, Jerry! I’m a thinker."
George Costanza
"Sometimes you gotta say, ‘What the f***.’"
George Costanza
"I have a post-modern approach to life. The concept is of deconstruction."
George Costanza
"To me, it’s the only believable thing I’ve ever seen."
George Costanza
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
George Costanza
"If you can't find the time to do it right, when will you find the time to do it over?"
George Costanza
"I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me."
George Costanza
"I’m not engaged yet, I’m just talking about it."
George Costanza
"You’re a very good looking woman. You see what it’s done to you."
George Costanza
"It's amazing. You hang out with a group of people and they become your friends, but then you grow older and lose touch with them."
George Costanza
"You know what? I don't want to be the guy in the middle of the road. I don't want to write an article and then have to backpedal."
George Costanza
"I can't believe that I'm actually considering this stupidity."
George Costanza
"I’m thinking I'm going to start talking to myself."
George Costanza
"The jerk store called; they’re running out of you."
George Costanza
"I’m not a monster! I’m just a man. A confused man, but just a man."
George Costanza
"I want to be the best at whatever I do, even if it’s just lying."
George Costanza
"Just remember, it’s not about the mistake; it’s how you recover from it."
George Costanza
"You gotta do what you gotta do."
George Costanza
"I’m a bad boy. I’m a bad, bad boy."
George Costanza
"I’m not a monster! I’m a human being."
George Costanza
"Serenity now!"
George Costanza
"You can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t understand what you’re talking about."
George Costanza
"I’ve got a lot of things I want to do. I want to learn how to play the saxophone. I want to write a novel."
George Costanza
"It’s not you, it’s me."
George Costanza
"I don’t want to be a pirate!"
George Costanza
"We’re living in a society!"
George Costanza
"The sea was angry that day, my friends."
George Costanza
"I’m gonna go home, and I’m gonna do nothing!"
George Costanza
"Everyone knows how to use a phone!"
George Costanza
"This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen!"
George Costanza
"I’m not even supposed to be here today!"
George Costanza
"You know what? I’m going to do it! I’m going to be a writer!"
George Costanza
"I’m a big fan of the O.J. Simpson trial."
George Costanza
"I’m not a negative person; I’m just realistic."
George Costanza
"Fun is the best thing to have!"
George Costanza
"I’m going to be an astronaut!"
George Costanza
"I need to be in a constant state of panic."
George Costanza
"It’s all about the experience."
George Costanza
"I’m not a doctor! I’m a plumber!"
George Costanza
"Why am I not using this? Something is wrong with me."
George Costanza
"I’m like a wizard, I can make things disappear."
George Costanza
"I’m just trying to keep it all together."
George Costanza
"I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s free!"
George Costanza
"It's not a lie if you believe it."
George Costanza
"I’m not a bad guy. I’m not a good guy. I’m just a guy."
George Costanza
"I think I’m going to go home and lie down for a while."
George Costanza
"I’m not a doctor. I’m not an astronaut. I’m just a guy who went to the movies."
George Costanza
"Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it."
George Costanza
"What’s wrong with me? I’m not a monster."
George Costanza
"I once had a job. I had a cat. I had a girlfriend. I had a life. Now I have nothing!"
George Costanza
"You know, it’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that I’m not as happy as I could be."
George Costanza
"I’m a big fan of irony. I just love it."
George Costanza
"I’m just a regular guy who loves to lie."
George Costanza
"You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends, and you can choose to stay away from obviously crazy people."
George Costanza
"I’m not a man who needs a lot of things. I just need some love, some food, and some sleep."
George Costanza
"I’m not a total loser. I’m just hitting a rough patch."
George Costanza
"I envy people who have a happy childhood. In a way, it’s a privilege. You can’t even imagine it."
George Costanza
"It’s all a big charade."
George Costanza
"I’m going to take a stand. I’m not going to take it anymore!"
George Costanza
"I’m sick of it! I want to start living!"
George Costanza
"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live a normal life."
George Costanza
"If you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, beat them."
George Costanza
"The best way to get someone’s attention is to be incredibly annoying."
George Costanza
"I have an idea: let’s not do anything at all."
George Costanza
"I’m a genius. I’m a lazy genius."
George Costanza
"The only thing worse than being in a relationship is being single."
George Costanza
"I can’t take it anymore!"
George Costanza
"A life in which you just say yes all the time isn’t living. It’s just existing."
George Costanza
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