106 result(s) for Chuck Norris Quotes.
"There’s no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There’s only another fist."
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. He decides where he is."
"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding."
"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live."
"Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds."
"If Chuck Norris was a vegetable, he’d be a Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink."
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"Chuck Norris's house has no doors. Only walls that he walks through."
"There’s no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks."
"Chuck Norris doesn't have a fire extinguisher. He puts fires out with his fists."
"Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves."
"There is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard. There is only another fist."
"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits."
"When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on. He turns the dark off."
"Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is."
"There is no such thing as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailers."
"Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush."
"If Chuck Norris was a writer, he would have written his own biography and made it a thriller."
"Chuck Norris’s house is so tough, it once beat the entire cast of 'The Expendables' in a debate."
"Chuck Norris once made a Happy Meal cry."
"Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain."
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"Chuck Norris eats lightning and poops thunder."
"Chuck Norris' blood type is AK-47."
"When Chuck Norris writes, he doesn’t use a pen. He uses a sword."
"Chuck Norris makes onions cry."
"Chuck Norris can set the barn on fire with a magnifying glass."
"Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight. The knife lost."
"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
"The only thing that runs faster than Chuck Norris is his beard."
"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS; he decides where he is."
"The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris before going to bed."
"If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down."
"Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in just three moves."
"The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them."
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"The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris doesn't have to breathe; he just holds back the air when he wants to."
"When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's not lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down."
"Chuck Norris can slam dunk a basketball in his sleep."
"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."
"Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi."
"To be or not to be? That is the question. To be afraid of Chuck Norris? That is the answer."
"Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the Earth down."
"The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep; he waits."
"If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win forever."
"Chuck Norris can make onions cry."
"Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'."
"When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother home from the hospital."
"Chuck Norris doesn't do math. He simply tells the numbers what to be."
"If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris was once at a WCW event and took a rafter fall onto his head — it didn’t hurt. He then resumed his work as a legend."
"Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard; the beard has Chuck Norris."
"The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle."
"When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up; he’s pushing the Earth down."
"Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
"Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS; he decides where he is."
"There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma."
"Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest."
"Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano."
"When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He pushes the Earth down."
"There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist."
"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."
"When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on. He turns the dark off."
"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. Books read Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."
"The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once."
"Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice."
"Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird."
"Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allowed to live."
"Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is."
"Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories."
"If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever."
"Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t need a parachute. He just jumps out of planes and scares them into landing."
"There’s no such thing as evolution. It’s just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live."
"Chuck Norris can speak braille."
"When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down."
"Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves."
"The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake."
"Chuck Norris doesn't get fat. Fat gets Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be heard from a thousand miles away."
"Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with his eyes closed."
"Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night."
"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it."
"Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris can win a game of solitaire with a deck of 51 cards."
"Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun."
"Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did."
"Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain."
"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down."
"Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the theory of evolution, only the theory of Chuck Norris survival."
"Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got it."
"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live."
"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean."
"Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone."
"Chuck Norris is not afraid of death, death is afraid of Chuck Norris."
"Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people."
"If Chuck Norris were to punch you in the face, you would have to be resuscitated. From Awesome."
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