Memorable Funny Harry Potter Quotes

119 result(s) for Funny Harry Potter Quotes.
"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
Albus Dumbledore
"I am what I am, an' I'm not Ashamed."
Hagrid
"You're a wizard, Harry!"
Hagrid
"I didn’t know you could read, Hermione!"
Ron Weasley
"Why is it when something happens, it’s always you three?"
Minerva McGonagall
"This is why we can’t have nice things!"
Ron Weasley
"I'm going to have to none of this."
Dobby
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"I never really gave up on you."
Harry Potter
"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain."
Arthur Weasley
"You're a little more like me than you think."
Albus Dumbledore
"Why can’t all wizarding opportunities be like this!"
Ron Weasley
"I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."
Harry Potter
"I don't care what you say, that is a horrible way to die."
Ron Weasley
"Muggle - I have always wanted to say that!"
Harry Potter
"I'm not mad. I'm just British."
Fred Weasley
"You’ve got to make the choice, my boy, how to live your life."
Harry Potter
"Why do we have to go through this every time?"
Ron Weasley
"Just because it's magic doesn't mean it's easy."
Hermione Granger
"Oh, what fun we're going to have!"
Gilderoy Lockhart
"I think I’m going to be sick."
Ron Weasley
"As I said earlier, the wand chooses the wizard."
Ollivander
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"You’re just like your father."
Sirius Black
"I mean, it’s sort of exciting, isn’t it? Breaking the rules."
Harry Potter
"I’m ready to fight, I’m ready to die for Harry Potter!"
Ron Weasley
"You’re just as sane as I am."
Luna Lovegood
"Honestly, you’d think I’d made more mistakes in my life."
Hermione Granger
"As long as we have our wands, we can take on a dragon!"
Ron Weasley
"I’m going to have a word with that cat."
Hermione Granger
"Time is a slippery little fish."
Albus Dumbledore
"Why are you worrying about you-know-who? You should be worrying about U-no-poo—the constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation!"
Ron Weasley
"I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks."
Harry Potter
"You have to be prepared to die if you want to live."
Sirius Black
"I’m not saying that it’s good to steal, but it’s better than sucking up to someone who’s already dead."
Fred Weasley
"I used to be a great gardener. I could grow a basilisk!"
Professor Sprout
"There’s nothing you can’t do if you set your mind to it, except for maybe make a turnip into a pig."
Ron Weasley
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"The best way to celebrate Christmas is to be with loved ones and open the presents!"
Harry Potter
"I think Neville should have a little more confidence in himself. I think we all do."
Hermione Granger
"We’ll be in our third year and I will personally Mumma-owl this piece of information to you."
Ron Weasley
"Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith."
Luna Lovegood
"If you don't like the way I look, you can just look the other way."
Ginny Weasley
"When in doubt, go to the library!"
Hermione Granger
"The thing about growing up in a dark household is you don’t really mind the cold."
Ron Weasley
"How can you be so optimistic? You’re not even the least bit worried about what might go wrong!"
Harry Potter
"Do they ever make you cry, Hogwarts? It must be so tough being a school!"
Draco Malfoy
"You know, it's a very unique talent to be friends with so many people."
Harry Potter
"There are no heroes or villains in this world, just people with ridiculous choices."
Luna Lovegood
"I am what I am, an' I'm not ashamed. Never be ashamed, my old dad used to say, there’s some who’ll hold it against you, but they’re not worth bothering with."
Hagrid
"It’s not Hogwarts without you, Hagrid."
Harry Potter
"I’m not worried, Harry. I’m with you."
Hagrid
"Why is it always me?"
Ron Weasley
"You’ll be okay, Harry. You’ll be okay."
Sirius Black
"Harry, yer a wizard!"
Hagrid
"You’re a bit of a mess, aren’t you?"
Ginny Weasley
"It's like having friends. You can’t turn them into pets."
Harry Potter
"There’s no Hogwarts without you, Hagrid."
Harry Potter
"I can’t do magic without my wand!"
Ron Weasley
"You must be Harry Potter. I’m Ron Weasley, and you’re gonna love it here!"
Ron Weasley
"You have things you cannot control, like your hair."
Hermione Granger
"I’m going to have a great time at Hogwarts!"
Harry Potter
"People die at the best of times. It’s quite a common thing, you know."
Dumbledore
"Why do you always look like you’ve just rolled out of bed?"
Hermione Granger
"Muggles... you're just studying the wrong thing."
Ron Weasley
"When in doubt, go to the library."
Ron Weasley
"Shoes are good. These shoes... not good."
Hermione Granger
"That’s how I feel at the moment... like a bit the morning after a big party: quite rubbish!"
Harry Potter
"Troll bogeys. That’s a lovely thought."
Ron Weasley
"A good hug is worth its weight in gold."
Dobby
"I could've sworn we were in Gryffindor!"
Ron Weasley
"Theres snogging going on and I'm missing it!"
Ron Weasley
"I’m not a great writer, I’m a great re-writer."
J.K. Rowling
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
Albus Dumbledore
"If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
Sirius Black
"You’re a wizard, Harry."
Hagrid
"You know, it’s a shame you have to sit on something that pretty."
Ron Weasley
"Discussion of whether Harry Potter is indeed a wizard is pointless. We can all see that he is."
Albus Dumbledore
"I’m quite good at basic charms, but not much else. I’m actually quite good in Potions usually."
Hermione Granger
"Why are you always so worried about anything? What’s the worst that can happen?"
Ron Weasley
"You know you’re a wizard when even your pet rat is a friend."
Harry Potter
"That’s the thing about people who think they hate you; they are usually all in love with you."
Gilderoy Lockhart
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
Albus Dumbledore
"You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart."
The Sorting Hat
"I don't think you should be so worried about being popular, it's not worth it."
Hermione Granger
"I’m going to make a cup of tea."
Ron Weasley
"It’s like Hogwarts is in a world of its own and we’ve been invited, but please, can we bring our own tea?"
Harry Potter
"We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."
Albus Dumbledore
"It’s not Hogwarts without the smell of burnt toast."
Harry Potter
"Me? I’m crazy! I’m completely mad!"
Luna Lovegood
"Honestly, I’m so annoyed at the world right now that I could happily punch Voldemort in the face."
Ron Weasley
"The world has ended, so why not have some cake?"
Albus Dumbledore
"We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on."
Sirius Black
"Oh, Harry... you’re such a natural at this."
Hagrid
"That’s the good thing about a mission – you don’t have to think about yourself."
Harry Potter
"You’ll find that life is full of surprises and quirks."
J.K. Rowling
"It’s not Hogwarts without the great tentacle monster."
George Weasley
"You’re a wizard, Harry!"
Rubeus Hagrid
"The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter."
Garrick Ollivander
"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have."
Hermione Granger
"Honestly, am I the only person who’s ever bothered to read Hogwarts: A History?"
Hermione Granger
"I've got a job."
Ron Weasley
"I am what I am, an’ I’m not ashamed."
Hagrid
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
Harry Potter
"You know, if you wanted to, you could be a member of the elite group."
Fred Weasley
"You're a little scary, you know that?"
Ron Weasley
"Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it?"
Ron Weasley
"Why are you worrying about You-Know-Who? You should be worried about U-No-Poo—the constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation!"
Fred Weasley
"We’re all human, after all. Or in some cases, not human."
Albus Dumbledore
"I’m surrounded by idiots."
Draco Malfoy
"You have your mother’s eyes."
Severus Snape
"I've always been a bit of a madman."
Gilderoy Lockhart
"I’m a wizard, not a baboon."
Ron Weasley
"In the end, it's not the wand you have that matters, it's the heart."
Albus Dumbledore
"I don't need you to tell me, I know I’m good!"
Gilderoy Lockhart
"We’re all mad here."
The Cheshire Cat (referenced)
"Can you believe I’m the Boy Who Lived?"
Harry Potter
"There’s no Hogwarts without a bit of mischief!"
Fred Weasley
"It's all about being cool or brave, right?"
Ron Weasley
"I’m going to be a wizarding rock star!"
Harry Potter
"One day, I’ll be famous for something less embarrassing than this."
Harry Potter
"It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wield your wand."
Hermione Granger
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