110 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Wine.
"I like to think of wine as adult grape juice."
"In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria."
"A glass of wine a day keeps the doctor away. At least, that's what I tell myself."
"I drink wine because I don’t like to keep things bottled up."
"My therapist is a wine bottle."
"The worst thing about some wine is that it inspires you to think about other wines."
"I enjoy cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."
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"Never waste wine. It is a crime."
"Wine improves with age. I improve with wine."
"I could give up wine, but I'm not a quitter."
"A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine."
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"The only way to deal with the wine consumption is to drink it!"
"Red wine is like the perfect boyfriend. It’s always there when I need it."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"Cheers to the nights we won't remember with the friends we won't forget!"
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it, but I also drink wine with it."
"Every wine is a journey, unless you drink it too fast."
"Wine makes me feel like a better person… until I remember I still have to deal with my life tomorrow."
"They say that laughter is the best medicine. However, I think it’s wine."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who love wine and those who will learn to love it."
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"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"I drink wine because I like to party. I party because I drink wine."
"Wine is my favorite color."
"There’s nothing wrong with a little drink before the wine."
"I just want to drink wine and do bad things."
"If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, drink wine."
"My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror."
"In wine, there's truth. In water, there's bacteria."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"Red wine is like your ex; in the beginning, you love it. Then it gives you a headache."
"A good friend will always lend you a glass of wine. A best friend will steal the whole bottle."
"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."
"I’ve got 99 problems, and they all revolve around wine."
"I only drink wine on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not."
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"What’s a wine lover’s favorite play? Romeo and Juliet. Because there’s a Merlot in the title!"
"If you see me talking to myself, I’m just having a little wine time."
"Wine flies when you’re having fun!"
"As a matter of fact, my favorite workout is lifting a glass of wine to my lips."
"Good friends bring happiness, but great friends bring wine."
"Save water, drink wine."
"I’d rather have a glass of wine than a million dollars."
"I only drink wine on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not."
"In wine, there is wisdom; in beer, there is freedom; in water, there is bacteria."
"Cheers to those who inspire us and don’t even know it."
"Wine is like the immersion blender of beverages; it just makes everything better."
"I make wine disappear—what’s your superpower?"
"This wine is so good, I may just have to keep drinking it until I forget my troubles."
"What’s a weekend without a little wine?"
"Wine is the answer. I just don’t remember the question."
"The only thing better than wine is more wine."
"If you’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"Wine is my spirit animal."
"I love cooking with wine; sometimes I even put it in the food."
"The first glass is for health, the second for enjoyment, the third for the soul."
"I've finally learned how to make a good red wine. I'm going to call it 'Port'—it's short for 'porch' because I just drink it out there."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"I drink wine on the weekends... that’s my only exercise."
"If we are what we eat, then I’m awfully cheesy, with a glass of wine on the side."
"Wine: a constant source of happiness."
"I thought I had a very good story to tell until it turned out I was only drunk."
"Drink wine and feel fine."
"A good friend knows how you take your coffee. A best friend knows how you like your wine."
"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
"Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. And if I see wine, I drink it!"
"In wine, there is truth. In beer, there is strength. In water, there is bacteria."
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
"Wine is the only artwork you can drink."
"I drink vino, I drink vino, I drink."
"The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for my enemies."
"I enjoy a glass of wine every night. If I can't be with the one I love, I love the one I'm with."
"There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a glass of wine now and then. Or every day."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"Wine is like sex: It’s best when it’s warm and from a friend."
"Red wine requires a mad man, a warm woman, and a quiet night."
"There are two kinds of people: those who love wine and those who are wrong."
"We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine."
"The five stages of drinking wine are: 1. I love this wine. 2. I love this wine and I want to share it. 3. I love this wine, and I’m better than you. 4. I love this wine, and I’m going to go home with it. 5. I love this wine, and I’m going to take my clothes off."
"I wine because I'm not really a beer person."
"In victory, you deserve champagne; in defeat, you need it."
"A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world."
"Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages."
"If you can’t drink it, then why spend money to buy it?"
"Wine is sunlight, held together by water."
"I drink wine because I don't like to keep things bottled up."
"Age and glasses of wine should never be counted."
"In wine, there is truth. In whiskey, there is wisdom."
"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."
"A glass of wine a day keeps the doctor away. If the doctor is cute, forget the fruit!"
"Wine: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad."
"The older I get, the more I enjoy wine. It’s like I’m working my way up to becoming a sommelier."
"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it."
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men, especially if it’s accompanied by a glass of wine."
"I only drink champagne on two occasions: when I am in love and when I am not."
"What wine goes with Captain Crunch?"
"There is no wine like a glass of good red right before bed."
"I’m on a wine diet. I’ve lost 3 days already."
"There is a time for everything, and a place for every wine."
"I get that I’m not supposed to drink alone, but you’re coming over, right?"
"Wine is the liquid version of a hug."
"The best wine is that which is drunk with friends."
"Good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used."
"Wine not?"
"If I had a wine cellar, I would never close the door, even when I would not go in."
"Life is too short to drink bad wine."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"Wine is my favorite accessory."
"Good wines are the ones you share with good friends."
"A fine wine is a friend. A bad wine is a lesson."
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