100 result(s) for Roast Quotes.
"I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash."
"If you were any more basic, you’d be a placeholder."
"You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room."
"You're like a participation trophy; you were not even close to winning."
"I’m not saying you’re the worst, but you’d definitely make the top three."
"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither."
"You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don’t die."
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"It's not that I'm against you; I just happen to be pro-election."
"You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
"I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!"
"You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
"I would be more excited to see you if I were less excited."
"You're like a candle in the wind—useless in a storm."
"I’d explain it to you, but I’m all out of puppets and crayons."
"If you were a spice, you'd be flour."
"You're as sharp as a marble."
"I’m glad I’m not as dumb as you."
"Some day you’ll go far… and I hope you stay there."
"I'd call you a tool, but that implies you're useful."
"I'd agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"You're like a candle in the wind—useless and all burnt out."
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"If you were any more inbred, you'd be a sandwich."
"I’d explain it to you, but I don't have any crayons."
"If laughing at you makes me a bad person, then I’ll wear that title with pride."
"If you had a brain, you'd be dangerous."
"There’s somebody out there for everyone. For you, it’s a psychiatrist."
"You're like a software update, every time I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"You're as bright as a black hole and ten times as dense."
"Somewhere out there is a village missing its idiot."
"You're like a light switch; off most of the time."
"You're as welcome as a fart in a space suit."
"It's a shame you can't Photoshop your personality."
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get that."
"You're like a broken pencil—pointless."
"You add nothing to my day. I would be fine without you."
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"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
"I’d call you a tool, but that implies you’re actually useful."
"You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
"You're not stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking."
"I haven’t seen such a mess since I last looked in the mirror."
"You're like a candle in the wind. Useless and kind of annoying."
"You're a gray matter waste; the only thing more useless is your presence."
"You're like a bad idea that just keeps getting worse."
"You're not the dumbest person here, but you better hope they don’t die."
"It's not that you're not smart; it's just that you're never on the same wavelength as everyone else."
"You're living proof that some people just aren’t meant to be in charge of their own thoughts."
"You're a gray area in a black and white world."
"I'd call you an idiot, but that would be an insult to all stupid people."
"You're as bright as a black hole and twice as dense."
"If you were any more dense, light would be unable to escape you."
"You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen."
"Your face makes onions cry."
"I’d call you a tool, but that would imply you’re useful."
"I can't believe you actually think you have a chance."
"You're like a broken pencil: pointless."
"I'd explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"You're the reason God created the middle finger."
"If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich."
"You’re like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"I would call you a joke, but I don't want to insult the comedians."
"You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."
"I’d love to see things from your perspective, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass."
"You're like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"You're as pointless as a white crayon."
"I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."
"You're the human version of a participation trophy."
"I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons."
"You are not even a has-been. You are a never-was."
"You're like a software update. It takes too long and you just wish it were over."
"I'd call you a tool, but that implies you’re actually useful."
"You're as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party."
"I'd say you're full of crap, but that would imply you do have something to offer."
"You’re like a light switch, even off you’re still a little dim."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room."
"I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing."
"If I had a dollar for every time I saw a dumb idea, I’d have a lot of dollars."
"You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway."
"I’d call you a tool, but that implies you’re useful."
"Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them."
"Some day you'll go far… and I hope you stay there."
"You’re like a software update. Whenever I see you, I feel like saying 'Not now.'"
"If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world."
"You're proof that even evolution makes mistakes."
"I’d explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"I’d call you a joke, but that would imply you’re funny."
"You're as useless as the 'ueue' in 'queue'."
"I’m trying to see things from your perspective, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass."
"You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day."
"You're proof that even a broken clock is right twice a day."
"I’d explain it to you, but I can’t make it idiot-proof."
"You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen."
"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet."
"You’re the reason God created the middle finger."
"I'm not insulting you; I'm describing you."
"You remind me of my first dog. I had to put it down."
"I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it."
"You're like a software license. Nobody really reads you."
"The only thing you contribute to society is a bad example."
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