45 result(s) for Sarcastic Quotes For Friends.
"I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."
"Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth."
"I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words."
"I'm not sure what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship."
"We've been friends for so long, I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence."
"I don't know what's more impressive, my tolerance or your stupidity."
"I always learn something new when I'm around you. Like how to avoid you."
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"I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?"
"I'm not saying you're dumb, but you shouldn't breed."
"It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste."
"I've got 99 problems, but I'm going to ignore them all."
"I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Sarcasm: Because beating the crap out of people is illegal."
"If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said, I'd be broke."
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems."
"Mirrors can't talk, lucky for you they can't laugh either."
"I'm busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?"
"I'm not responsible for what my face does when you talk."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode."
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"We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up... after I finish laughing."
"My friends and I are like a small gang. We don't do anything, but we're still trouble."
"I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'"
"We've been friends so long, I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence."
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."
"Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food."
"I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today."
"I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m sleeping."
"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."
"If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"You're not completely useless. You can always serve as a bad example."
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"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
"I try to see the best in people, but sometimes I find myself facing a mirror."
"I've learned that sarcasm is the language of the unheard."
"My friends are my estate."
"A friend in need is a pain in the neck."
"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"I love my friends...we're equally disturbed."
