Memorable Funny Work-Life Quotes

25 result(s) for Funny Work-Life Quotes.
"I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday."
Unknown
"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."
Robert Frost
"I told my boss two things today: I don't need this job, and that I'm always right. Guess who got fired?"
Unknown
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office."
Robert Frost
"I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, sanity, and dreams."
Unknown
"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
Jerome K. Jerome
"Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished."
Leslie Nielsen
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"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
Bill Gates
"A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job."
Zig Ziglar
"I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me."
Unknown
"There's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning."
Jimmy Buffett
"My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home."
Unknown
"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
Oscar Wilde
"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
Henny Youngman
"Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there."
Will Rogers
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."
Steve Jobs
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
Charles Lamb
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
Mitch Hedberg
"Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day."
Unknown
"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."
Ogden Nash
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
Earl Wilson
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"The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures."
Unknown
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
Oscar Wilde
"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
Unknown
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time."
Joe Girard

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