63 result(s) for Funny Human Resources Quotes.
"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."
"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."
"The Peter Principle: in a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."
"Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished."
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
"If your boss is getting you down, look at him closely. You will probably notice that he needs you to get him down."
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
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"I told my boss exactly what was on my mind – and I’ve been regretting it ever since."
"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
"I have always been of the opinion that if you cannot say something good about someone, you should not say anything at all."
"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early."
"My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home."
"There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed."
"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
"A consultant is someone who saves you from having to make a decision."
"Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor."
"The key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made."
"The trouble with being a leader today is that you can’t be sure whether people are following you or walking on your heels."
"Whenever I want to accomplish something, I hire a bunch of other people to do it for me."
"I quit my job recently; I was bored stiff. I was just increasingly getting the feeling that I was wasting my time."
"Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired."
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"My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it."
"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
"It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong."
"I am an early riser, though it is getting harder and harder to distinguish dawn from dusk."
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
"I hate being a manager. Every day is just one crisis after another."
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time."
"I have plenty of faults. I'm eccentric. I'm quick-tempered. I talk too much. But I understand motivation."
"My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home."
"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"There's a very fine line between hobby and mental illness."
"Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished."
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"The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate you away from the people who are still undecided."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher."
"I don't know what's worse: people who talk too much or people who don't talk at all."
"A consultant is someone who saves you from your own bad decisions."
"There is no secret ingredient."
"I'm convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance."
"There are no office hours for leaders."
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office."
"The best way to manage is to mingle around."
"The Peter Principle: in a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful person who didn't tell you about it?"
"I have always been of the opinion that if you have a job that you like, you go to work willingly every morning. I have been like that all my life."
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment."
"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other."
"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
"It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it."
"Be so good they can’t ignore you."
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it."
"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing."
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
"I am a hard person to satisfy, I have my standards."
"We pretend to work, and they pretend to pay us."
"If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock."
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I realize now I should have been more specific."
"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
"Executive: a person who is always undecided until he has heard from his subordinates."
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