25 result(s) for Rodney Dangerfield Quotes About His Wife And Airports.
"I tell ya, I get no respect!"
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
"When I die, my wife wants to be buried in ashes. I told her, 'I don't care, as long as they're not my ashes!'"
"My wife's a real sweetheart. She's got a heart of gold. It's just the rest of her that's the problem."
"I asked my wife, 'What would you do if I won the lottery?' She said, 'I'd take my half and leave you.' I said, 'Great, I didn't win the lottery.'"
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"My wife is so high-maintenance, even her shadow needs a massage."
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"I went to the airport, and the security guard asked to see my ID. I said, 'I don't have one, I'm a comedian.' He said, 'Great, then you won't mind if I search your luggage!'"
"I told my wife, 'I'm going to the airport.' She said, 'Don't forget to bring me something.' I said, 'I'll bring you some luggage!'"
"Every time I go to the airport, I feel like I'm being interrogated. It's like they're looking for something I didn't even know I had!"
"My wife is so beautiful, even the birds stop singing when she walks by. They're just trying to get a better look!"
"I told my wife, 'I'm feeling a bit under the weather.' She said, 'That's because you're a comedian!'"
"When I go to the airport, I always feel like I'm missing something. Then I realize, I'm missing my dignity!"
"My wife is so smart, she even knows when I'm lying. And she's always right!"
"I told my wife, 'I'm going to the airport to pick up a friend.' She said, 'Which friend? The one you're cheating on me with?'"
"At the airport, they told me I couldn't bring my luggage on the plane. I said, 'But it's my only friend!'"
"My wife is so dramatic, even when she's just sneezing, it's like a Shakespearean tragedy."
"I told my wife, 'I'm going to the airport to see the planes.' She said, 'Why don't you just stay home and watch the grass grow?'"
"When I'm at the airport, I feel like everyone is looking at me. I tell ya, I get no respect!"
"My wife is so perfectionist, even her mistakes are perfect."
"I told my wife, 'I'm going to the airport to catch a flight.' She said, 'Don't catch anything else!'"
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"The airport is the only place where you can pay a lot of money to sit in a uncomfortable chair and wait for a plane that's late."
"My wife's the boss. I just work for her."
"I told my wife, 'I'm going to the airport to see a show.' She said, 'What show?' I said, 'The one where I leave!'"
"I told my wife, 'I'm feeling a bit lonely.' She said, 'Then go to the airport and talk to the pilots!'"
