103 result(s) for Funny Wedding Card Quotes.
"A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other."
"Love is not only blind, it is also deaf and occasionally stupid."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade."
"In my opinion, a good husband should never be afraid to say he’s sorry. Even if he’s not wrong."
"The secret to a happy marriage is a great sense of humor. Preferably one that includes a lot of sarcasm."
"Marriage is all about possessions: you share the bathroom, but you never share the remote."
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"Love is sharing your popcorn. Even when they steal the good pieces."
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby."
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband."
"I never knew what happiness was until I got married... and then it was too late."
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
"Marriage: an endless sleepover with your favorite weirdo."
"The best thing about marriage is that it’s a legally sanctioned excuse to annoy one person for the rest of your life."
"When you’re married, there’s no room for secrets... especially the ones about the Giraffe!”"
"To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with."
"I am looking for a right man, and right now all I can find is wrong firewood."
"My girlfriend told me that she was going to marry me someday. I told her I would take her to dinner on our honeymoon."
"Marriage is a workshop... where the husband works and the wife shops."
"Congratulations on finding someone who will put up with your weirdness for the rest of your life!"
"You don't marry someone you can live with; you marry the person who you cannot live without... even though they sometimes drive you crazy!"
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"They say marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
"The four most important words in any marriage: 'I’ll do the dishes.'"
"Once you’re married, you’ll realize that ‘you complete me’ actually means ‘you annoy me’."
"A wedding is just like a funeral, except that you get to smell your own flowers."
"The best way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it once."
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet."
"Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after. Now, let’s eat!"
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"Wedding: The start of a sentences that can go on for eternity!"
"A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; you give and he takes!"
"Marriage is like a game of chess: one mistake and you’re mated."
"Congratulations on your wedding! Remember, the couple that laughs together, stays together."
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"You are not only marrying a partner, you are marrying into their family too. Good luck!"
"Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."
"Marriage: A relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband."
"They say marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning."
"I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it."
"Here's to love, laughter, and happily ever after—and to the fact that you’re getting the laundry done."
"Marriage is a fine institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
"You know you've found someone special when you can just be yourself together… and you both know it's a little weird!"
"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
"Love is sharing your popcorn. Even if you're the one who bought it."
"Wedding: the beginning of a lifelong punishment."
"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife."
"My wife and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look."
"Finding the right person is like finding a needle in a haystack. Making it work is like holding on to that needle forever."
"A wedding is just a party. Marriage is the real deal."
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."
"Laughter is a great way to spice up a wedding card—and a marriage!"
"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."
"Before marrying someone, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are."
"In every marriage, there are three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
"Age is just a number. Just like the numbers on your wedding cake!"
"Here's to love, laughter, and a happily ever after—but mostly just to love and laughter!"
"Marry me and we'll be together for the rest of our lives... or until the Wi-Fi goes out."
"Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one."
"You don’t marry someone you can live with. You marry someone you cannot live without, especially when they know how to fold the laundry."
"Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."
"Marriage – a status that is perfect until your wife realizes you've been married before."
"A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers."
"I love you not only for who you are but for who I am when I am with you... and sometimes for the cookies."
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams... especially if you’ve stayed up all night arguing about the thermostat."
"Marriage may be a once in a lifetime experience, but those weddings sure are expensive."
"A wife is a gift that keeps on giving as long as you remember her birthday."
"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers."
"You can’t be too careful when you choose a spouse. One wrong choice can lead to a lifetime of bad decisions… like whose side you take in the ‘is the toilet paper over or under’ debate."
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. To start, you need two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade."
"Weddings are like software updates. You don't get any of the features you need until you figure out the bugs."
"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. A chance to tell your friends you survived without needing to explain which side you were on."
"I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. Especially since there’s no more pizza left."
"Marriage is an institution that should be in the museum, but instead it’s alive and kept in a cupboard."
"They say opposites attract. So why is my spouse always standing on the wrong side of the bed?"
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other... and the remote control."
"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade."
"The four most important words in any marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'"
"Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life."
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
"A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it."
"Congratulations on finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life!"
"In terms of advice, I don't give it. I just hope it's a little bit of laughter and a little bit of good sense."
"Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy."
"Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!"
"A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short."
"Wedding bells are ringing, but you might need earplugs soon."
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water; Jill came down with a bubble butt because she married Jack, who has poor credit."
"Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park."
"I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it."
"Getting married is like going from one home to another; it’s just a little more crowded."
"When you marry someone, you marry their entire family. You might want to double-date first."
"The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret."
"You don't marry someone you can live with; you marry someone you can't live without, unless they snore!"
"Marriage: When dating goes too far."
"Two become one... and then one is always right."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. I didn’t marry you for your looks. I married you because you gave me a blanket and watched ‘The Office’ with me."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband."
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
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