124 result(s) for Dirty Golf Quotes.
"The only thing that will make golf better is when they start flying in jet packs."
"I’m actually quite good at golf. I’ve been practicing my sliding into the hood of the car for years."
"Golf: A game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five."
"There are two ways to get a hole in one: either get a hole in one or a hole in the backyard."
"I owe it all to golf. I always say that if you are not getting better at golf, you're getting worse."
"Golf is like marriage; if you take yourself too seriously, it won’t work."
"Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole."
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"Golf doesn't build character; it reveals it."
"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser."
"I’m not saying I’m a bad golfer, but if my car had played in front of me, I’d have to stagger my drive!"
"When I finally made it to the golf course, I realized it wasn’t my swing that was heading for the trees – it was my golf cart!"
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake... or your golf balls."
"It’s a funny place, this golf course. One minute you’re acting like a gentleman and the next you’re cursing at the ball in a manner fit for a sailor!"
"The only thing I hit after the golf ball is the track to the pro shop!"
"They say golf is like love; one minute you're playing beautifully, the next you’re facing a double bogey after hitting a tree."
"I’ve been playing golf since I was six. I can’t remember when I became fully aware it was a sport for people who love to argue."
"I found out that there’s no such thing as exercise when after a bad day on the golf course, I’m looking for a cocktail instead."
"There’s nothing wrong with hitting it hard, shouting in a bunker, and getting dirty. That’s just called enjoying the game!"
"Even the best golfer has some rough days; like trying to parallel park a Cadillac in a hole!"
"I could be a pro golfer if it wasn’t for the laughter and disagreements that come with it!"
"Golf is 90% mental, and 10% where you can hide the drinks."
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"If I had known I would be so bad at golf, I would have simply taken a different hobby – like bird watching or fish wrestling!"
"Some people take all the fun out of golf – and they usually go first!"
"In every golfer's life, there comes a point where we must decide – drive drunk, or putt on!"
"The golf swing is like a suitcase; you have to know how to pack it."
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
"I'm hitting the woods just great; but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them!"
"There are no rules in golf - just people who get caught and people who don't."
"Golfers are the worst people in the world; they think they have all the answers and don't mind telling you about it."
"I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television."
"If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant."
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline."
"The only thing a golfer’s nervous about is the call of nature."
"You don't have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you're got the timing, it'll go."
"Golf is a game where you yell ‘Fore!’ shoot six and write down five."
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"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
"I'm not a bad golfer, I just have bad luck with my balls."
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf club!"
"The secret to golf is to make a good shot and then go home."
"To some people, the grass is always greener on the other side. To me, it’s where they’re hitting their second shots from!"
"I’d like to be remembered as the guy who gave my all, or as someone who didn’t cheat at golf."
"Golf is like marriage; if you take yourself too seriously, it won't work."
"There are two things you can do with golf: have a great day, or get your confidence flushed down the toilet!"
"A golfer is a person who hits the ball, what they do afterwards is entirely up to them."
"I play golf because I enjoy it. I also take it very seriously, which is why I don’t take it seriously."
"I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it."
"That's the beauty of golf. You play through the bad times and keep moving on."
"Live to play golf, or play to live golf – one of the two!"
"Golf: the art of playing with great skill while trying to look like you're having the greatest time of your life."
"I never let my golf interfere with my golf."
"The older I get, the more I realize that the only thing that matters in life is golf, and the second thing is the woman I’m with. Everything else is just dirty."
"Golf is a game where you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five."
"Golf is a game of good shots. The more good shots you hit, the more dirty your scorecard will be."
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there... they just don't write that on scorecards."
"There's no such thing as a bad day on the golf course — just bad scores."
"Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole."
"I don't like to golf on 'friendly' courses; I like them to get dirty."
"Golf: The sport that will make you do dirty things for a few yards."
"I’d like to see it as a hole-in-one, but with my luck, it will just be a dirty double."
"Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course — the distance between your ears."
"The only thing more important than being on par is avoiding the dirty hazards."
"It's a funny thing about golf — it can make you dirty even when you don’t hit the ball."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy golf clubs, and that’s kind of the same thing even when they get dirty."
"There are no shortcuts on the golf course; it’s all about the dirty little details."
"Golf is the only sport where the ball is not the dirtiest part of the game."
"After a bad round, I tend to blame the course instead of my dirty swing."
"A golf ball's really only half dirty when it’s in the hole."
"Success on the golf course is a result of dirty work — practice and perseverance."
"Golf is a game of great confidence, and sometimes a dirty mind."
"When I’m having a rough time, I just think: it’s better to have dirty clubs than to be clean and lose."
"The best part about golf is that it gives you a chance to let your mind wander into dirty territories."
"Life is like a game of golf, if you hit it clean every time, you’re not having any fun."
"I just want to be on the green, dirty swings and all."
"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser."
"When I hit a shot where I want it to go, it's like a woman saying, 'Yes' to me."
"Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears."
"I’d like to see a guy have a hole in one and then be struck by lightning. That would be a bad day!"
"Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then end up in the hole."
"If you think golf is just an outdoor game, you're playing it wrong."
"There are two ways to play golf: one is to play it straight, the other is to play it crooked."
"The worst day of golf still beats the best day at work."
"Golf is the only sport where you can be 100% sober and still be a complete jerk."
"I don’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member."
"A bad day on the golf course is still better than a good day in the office."
"The only thing worse than a bad round is a bad attitude."
"Golf: a good walk spoiled."
"I told my caddy to give me a few more clubs. He just smiled and said, 'You can handle that one.'"
"If you hit the ball, you should at least go look for it!"
"The secret to a good golf game is to avoid three putts. If I can keep my three putts down, I’ll be alright."
"My golf game is just like my love life: it sucks!"
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy golf clubs, and that’s pretty close."
"On the golf course, I’m not out to make friends. I’m out to make pars!"
"I once asked my caddy how I could improve my game. He said, 'Just keep hitting it.'"
"If you don't think golf is a game of skill, then you've never watched me play."
"Golf is a game that should be played poorly and enjoyed immensely."
"What’s the difference between a golf ball and a bad band? A golf ball can be driven further, but a bad band can have a great time doing it!"
"I really love golf. It's not working out, but it's working for my personality."
"Golf courses are the only places where my body truly finds peace... at least until the ball lands."
"I don’t always play a round of golf, but when I do, I prefer to drink the beer before I putt."
"Golf is a game where you yell 'fore!', shoot six, and write down five."
"There are no bad golfers; there are only bad swings."
"Golf: a game in which you hit a very small ball into a very small hole with implements ill-suited to the purpose."
"I love golf. It’s a great way to ruin a good walk."
"Just think of all the stories you can tell after a bad round of golf."
"It's a funny thing, the less it matters, the more you have to play it."
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."
"Golf is a game of patience and a good way to discover why the hole is always deeper on the other side."
"It took me years to become an overnight success on the golf course."
"I can’t tell you how many golf balls I’ve lost – a dozen at least that summer I was trying to get my game back."
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
"If your head's not in the game, you might as well be in a sand trap."
"You know you're on a good golf course when it has two par fives in a row."
"Golf is ultimately a game of luck; it’s just that some players have more skill than others."
"My golf game is so bad, I can’t even find the ball when it’s in the hole."
"A bad day on the golf course is still better than a good day at work."
"I play golf because it's a great way to get my frustrations out and my bad shots won't be seen until the next hole."
"Some days you're the statue; some days you're the pigeon."
"Forget your swing when you play golf; concentrate on your scotch."
"Golf is 90% mental and 10% physical. The other 50% is the golf course."
"To find a ball in the rough: Follow the laughter!"
"Golf is a game where the one who loses the least wins."
"It's not how you drive, it's how you arrive."
"Remember, it's not the score that matters – it's how many times you laugh at your own game."
"I'd rather be in the wrong place at the right time than in the right place at the wrong time... unless it’s the 18th hole."
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