25 result(s) for Funny Twist Quotes.
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"The road to success is paved with good intentions…and a whole lot of caffeine."
"I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms."
"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
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"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
"I'm not sure what the question is, but sex is definitely the answer."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"The best way to lie is to tell the truth…carefully edited truth."
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."
"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
"I’m not afraid of heights, have you seen my heels?"
"Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence."
"Children must be taught how to think, not what to think."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And then try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
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"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
"A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists."
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher."
"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."
