107 result(s) for Funny Quotes To Put On A Shirt.
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong."
"If you think I’m sarcastic now, wait until I’m caffeinated!"
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Saturdays are for the boys!"
"I’m silently correcting your grammar."
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"I’m on the patch right now. The procrastination patch."
"Don’t worry, I’m still a kid at heart. The rest of me is just old."
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"I’m not great at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I didn’t choose the thug life. The thug life chose me."
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"Today’s mood: 100% caffeine."
"Be the reason someone smiles today... or the reason they drink."
"I have a degree in sarcasm."
"Procrastinators unite... tomorrow."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach pictures."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."
"I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
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"If you think I'm crazy, you should see my imaginary friends."
"Sure, I have a talent. I can make people break into laughter."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"If I was funny, I would have a better quote."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."
"I’m not short, I’m fun size!"
"I know the voices aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome."
"I want to be like a superhero, but I'm not very good at it."
"Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning."
"You can’t make everybody happy. You’re not a taco."
"I told my therapist about my procrastination. We’ll talk about it next week."
"Don’t worry, the spider is smaller than you!"
"I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing."
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"I might be a disaster, but at least I’m a fun one."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I can’t adult today."
"If I were a vegetable, I’d be a ‘cabbage’!"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach photos."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just in energy-saving mode."
"Exercise? I thought you said ‘extra fries’!"
"I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should meet my alter ego."
"I don’t need therapy, I just need to go to the beach."
"I put the 'Pro' in procrastinate."
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
"My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"I finally got around to reading 'The Book of A Thousand Days.' It took me a thousand days!"
"I don't mind being the dumbest person in the room, as long as I’m having fun."
"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
"If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"My life feels like a test I didn’t study for."
"I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?"
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I can't believe I still have to protest this shit."
"I may be a handful, but that’s why you’ve got two hands."
"I don't need an attitude adjuster. I need a coffee."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should meet my family."
"I told my therapist about you."
"I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I'm actually a unicorn in disguise."
"I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not fake."
"Am I a mess? I prefer to think of myself as ‘uniquely organized.’"
"If I were a vegetable, I’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’"
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time."
"I finally found my spirit animal, and it’s a sloth."
"Sarcastic? Never. Just kidding, I’m extremely sarcastic."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"I have a new invention: it’s a smoking jacket, but you wear it while you’re cooking!"
"I would like to exchange the packed lunch I brought today for a pizza."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"Forget the past, you can’t change it. Forget the present, I didn’t get you one."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should see my friends."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I’m not a complete idiot—some parts are missing."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on."
"I’m not short, I’m fun size."
"Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool."
"I am on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything."
"Procrastinate now, don’t put it off."
"I can’t decide if I’m a bad person or if I just have a good time."
"Why worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it any better."
"I don’t want to adult today."
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