111 result(s) for Funny Quotes On Sweatshirts.
"I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate."
"Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things."
"I'm not a morning person. I'm a coffee person."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
"Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries.'"
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"I workout just so I can eat more."
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"Sundays are for sweatpants."
"Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!"
"I could give up chocolate, but I'm not a quitter."
"My favorite workout is a cross between a tank top and a couch."
"I may be a beginner at some things, but I’m a pro at being lazy."
"I like hashtags because they look like waffles."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy sweatshirts, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"Is it too late to be good at exercise?"
"I don’t need an excuse to wear sweatpants."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
"Sweatpants: because sometimes you just need to be a little extra comfortable."
"Home is where the sweatpants are."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
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"If I were a vegetable, I’d be a ‘cabbage’ because I’m a little ‘heady’."
"Sweatpants are all that fit me right now."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"I'm on my way to steal your heart, but I forgot my sweatpants."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice!"
"I would lose weight, but I hate losing."
"I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"Life is too short to wear boring clothes."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!"
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it."
"I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"
"I'm a multitasker: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
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"You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake."
"I'm like a butterfly, pretty to see, hard to catch."
"My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat."
"If I can’t bring my dog, I’m not going."
"I would rather be someone's Sunday morning than a Saturday night."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Running late is my cardio."
"I hate when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong."
"Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon."
"Out of the way, world! I’ve got my sassy pants on today!"
"I’m on a superhero diet. I eat whatever I want and I never lose!"
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"I need six months of vacation, twice a year."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!"
"I don’t often go shopping, but when I do, I prefer to be in sweatpants."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"I don’t sweat—I sparkle!"
"I can be a morning person if morning starts after noon."
"Slightly annoying, but highly caffeinated."
"That awkward moment when you realize you’re not a morning person."
"I finally got a job that pays me to do nothing. I'm a stay-at-home parent!"
"I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me pop-up ads for vacations."
"I’m just a hot mess trying to keep it together."
"I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"Sweatshirts are like a hug you can wear."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"If I was funny, I would have a sitcom."
"Sweatshirts: because adulting is hard."
"It's not hoarding if it's sweatshirts!"
"I put the 'pro' in procrastinate."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I'm in shape... round is a shape."
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!"
"I don't sweat, I sparkle."
"If there's no chocolate in heaven, I'm not going."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"I am on a whiskey diet... I've lost three days already."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I wish my wallet came with free refills."
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"I'm like a butterfly: pretty to see, but hard to catch."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I'm not lazy, I'm in energy-saving mode."
"Sweatpants are all that fits me right now."
"I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and lipstick."
"If I was a vegetable, I’d be a cute-cumber."
"I'm like a squirrel. I’m crazy, but I never forget where I hid my nuts."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"Dear naps, I'm sorry I was a jerk to you before. I love you now."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I'm not great at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I don’t need an inspirational quote; I need coffee."
"Reality called, so I hung up."
"If we weren't meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"NOTE: Napping is a sport, and I am an athlete."
"I don't have a bad handwriting, I have my own font."
"Sometimes I think I’m a wizard because I can’t find my phone half the time."
"I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!"
"I don’t sweat, I sparkle."
"Sarcams is my second language."
"I’m not weird, I’m limited edition."
"Why be moody when you can shake your booty?"
"I’m not a morning person. Or a night owl. I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon."
"Never underestimate the power of a good nap."
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