130 result(s) for Funny Quotes On Pens.
"A pen is like a feather. If you have one, you can write a serious story, or just tickle someone."
"I can get my pen to do almost anything, even pick up my groceries. If only it could cook."
"I used to think I could be a writer until I realized I only liked the idea of pens and coffee."
"My pen and I have a complicated relationship — it writes my dreams but never my grocery list."
"If you want to make a small fortune, start with a large fortune and invest in pens."
"The pen is mightier than the sword, but not as funny as my jokes."
"I write with a quirky pen because regular pens just can't handle my sense of humor."
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"Writing is easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"If my pen ran away, would I still be able to write the next great American novel? Probably not! I'd just be here talking to myself."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who have pens that work and those who wish they did."
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends — and the fact that they borrowed my pen."
"A pen has to be careful; it has to know when to draw the line."
"The only time I get writer's block is when my pen runs out of ink."
"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia, especially when you can't find your pen."
"I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust. Like my unfinished novels that hide behind my pen."
"Just because your pen is blue doesn't mean you have to write sad poems."
"I told my pen it would be my best friend forever. It promptly ran out of ink."
"There are no bad ideas; only bad pens that won't write them down."
"Sometimes I wonder if my pen has a better social life than I do."
"Every time I lose my pen, I think it went on vacation without me."
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"If your pen could talk, would it say all the things you never could?"
"A ‘write’ pen is an essential tool for crazy thoughts and brilliant ideas — too bad mine mostly writes grocery lists!"
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right — with my trusty pen in hand."
"A pen is a thing of beauty, just like the words that have yet to be written."
"I was going to write a joke about a pen, but I couldn’t find the right ink-sight."
"A pen is mightier than a sword, but only if you remember to refill it."
"Pencil: an excellent tool for mischief. Pen: an excellent tool for confessing that mischief."
"The pen is a powerful instrument; it can be used to write checks or love letters, both of which can cause an overdose of stress."
"My pen is a weapon—it's the only thing I can wield successfully."
"I don't trust people who can't seem to find their pens. If you can’t keep track of a small object, how can you keep track of anything else?"
"A pen may not achieve world peace, but it can certainly create an excellent grocery list."
"Writing with a good pen is like having a conversation with a good friend."
"Forget the sword—I'll take my pen; it gets me further with fewer injuries."
"Life is like a pen—sometimes it runs out of ink at the most inconvenient moments."
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"I always carry a pen. I never know when I might need to sign an autograph for my vast fan club—a.k.a. my cat."
"A pen that doesn't write is just an expensive stick."
"The best pen is the one that never runs out of ink and never demands a raise."
"If at first you don't succeed, try using a different pen."
"My pen and I have a mutual understanding: I control it, and it tries to escape."
"To err is human; to pencil in a mistake is divine; to ink it permanently is just stupid."
"Sometimes I think my pen has feelings… it refuses to write when I need it the most."
"I put my pen down for one second, and it ran away. Now it’s inking its own story."
"Why do they call it a pen? I think it's more like a wand, waving its magic on paper!"
"When in doubt, doodle it out with a pen."
"A good pen can change your perspective. Until it runs out of ink, then it’s just a fancy stick."
"They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but it’s definitely more likely to run out of ink."
"If my ideas are worth anything, they need to be in ink, preferably blue."
"Ink pens may write the words, but it’s the heart that gives them meaning."
"Why do I have so many pens? Because they all write my story differently!"
"One day I’ll write the next great novel with my pen… but today, I'm just making grocery lists."
"My favorite phrase is 'The pen is mightier,' especially when someone else buys the pen."
"A pen is a mighty weapon, but only if you know how to use it."
"I have a pen. It’s like a sword, but I can’t fight with it. I can only write things down."
"I love my pen. It's my companion in crime—especially when I'm doodling!"
"When you can't figure out which pen to use, just choose the one that's always out of ink."
"The best part of a pen is not the ink... it’s the many times it causes you to lose your mind."
"A pen is a tool that can write your dreams or scratch your head."
"My pen is like a bad comedian; it just doesn't have enough punchlines."
"Writing with a pen is like painting with a brick."
"Some days, my pen hates me. It just won't cooperate!"
"A pen mightier than the sword? Tell that to my last ink stain."
"Every time I find a pen that works, I feel like I’ve won the lottery."
"Using a pen is basically trying to prove that I can write better than a toddler."
"If I had a dollar for every time my pen ran out of ink, I wouldn’t need a pen!"
"I’d like to write a letter, but my pen forgot how to make friends."
"Why do we call it a 'pen'? It's basically a 'writ-er'!"
"Every time I find a matching pen, I think that perhaps life is not that bad."
"The art of writing is just me and my pen trying to get along."
"I keep a pen in my pocket, but I can't seem to find the jokes in there."
"A pen in hand, a jumbled mind—a recipe for laughing at my own writing."
"Writing with a pen is like baking without a recipe; it could end up a disaster!"
"My pen is my therapist: it listens without judging and occasionally leaks."
"Forget the fine line; my pen is known for its blurred edges!"
"Every brilliant idea I’ve ever had was probably just an accident of my pen!"
"Pencil may be the first choice when erasing, but the pen always wants to stick around."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a good pen—and that’s pretty close!"
"I don’t trust people who don’t carry a pen; how do they plan to sign their life away?"
"I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction. Give me a pen, instead!"
"A pencil is a razor blade. A pen is a tattoo."
"I am a pen. I write down things, like how much I hate writing."
"Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words. That’s why I write with a pen."
"I haven’t written a joke in 18 years, but I never go anywhere without my pen to get down an idea."
"A pen can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It depends on how you hold it!"
"I love to write with my pen. Every time I use it, it’s like a little piece of me on the page."
"Pen stealing is a sign of low self-esteem."
"The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if you're a terrible shot."
"Never trust a person who doesn’t have a pen. They’re probably planning something!"
"My pen runs out of ink before I run out of ideas."
"You know you’re a writer when your best friend is a pen."
"When life gives you lemons, grab a pen and write a different story!"
"A good pen is like a good friend — it should be reliable and not run out of ink at the worst time!"
"This pen has been with me through thick and thin, and I blame it for my endless revisions!"
"The best part of owning 100 pens is that you always have an excuse for not writing."
"There’s a fine line between a ‘pen’ and a ‘penalty’ in my writing notebook!"
"I didn’t choose the writing life; the pen chose me."
"Why did the pen get kicked out of school? Because it couldn't stop writing 'I will not doodle!'"
"I've got a pen that can write underwater. It also writes on walls and helps me dodge responsibilities!"
"Writers are like pens; sometimes you need to push a little harder to get the ink flowing!"
"If you think your pen is leaking, maybe it’s just your imagination."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, my pen is always in hand, and so are my writer's blues!"
"I have a pen that writes with invisible ink. Clearly, it's a writer's best-kept secret."
"The pen might be mightier, but let’s be honest, a good pun is always better!"
"A pen without paper is like a musician without a stage – pointless."
"The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the sword is very small and the pen is very sharp."
"A pen is a powerful tool, it can start wars or write love letters."
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. But I will definitely remember your pen!"
"I put my pants on one leg at a time. Then I make gold records. And then I write with a pen."
"My pen needs to be sharper. It's made of marshmallow."
"The pen is a mightier weapon than the sword, especially if you’re trying to sign a contract."
"I’d like to see you try to write on a tablet without a pen."
"I’ve got a pen that writes underwater. You should see my notepad!"
"I don't trust anyone who doesn’t have a pen!"
"If you don't have a pen, you might as well be holding your breath!"
"My pen may run out of ink but my thoughts will never dry up!"
"The pen is a great unbiased communicator. It can stab the truth right into your heart!"
"If you ever think your life is dull, try using a purple pen!"
"I bought a pen that can write underwater; it leaked everywhere!"
"For every action, there is a pen that can write it down!"
"A pen is like a wand; do magic with your words!"
"A pen in the hand is worth two in the drawer."
"If my pen could talk, it would have a lot to say!"
"Never let your pen run out of ink; it's like losing your voice!"
"The most important thing in writing is the pen that you use."
"I've reached my quota for pens this month; they keep disappearing!"
"My pen is my best friend; it never judges what I write!"
"With great power comes great responsibility… and a great pen."
"Having a dull pen is like having a dull wit."
"Always carry a pen; you never know when the muse will strike!"
"The best ideas often come when you have the worst pen!"
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