105 result(s) for Funny Quotes For T-Shirts.
"I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time."
"I don’t need internet access to be awesome."
"I may be a handful, but that’s why you have two hands."
"I don’t always procrastinate, but when I do, I prefer to do it later."
"Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
"If we weren’t meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
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"I’m significantly more mature than I was last year. A whole decade of maturity!"
"If we’re not meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"I told my boss I needed a raise. He said he’d think about it. I told him, ‘You think your way, I’ll think my way!'"
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach photos."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"I don’t need an alarm clock. My ideas wake me."
"I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right."
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"I told my therapist about my procrastination issues, but we haven't scheduled our next session yet."
"I would lose weight, but I hate losing."
"I’m on the patch right now. It’s a pizza patch."
"I'm just a girl standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"There’s no ‘we’ in fries."
"If we're not meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"I didn't choose the mug life; the mug life chose me."
"My mood depends on how much coffee I have consumed."
"I work out... just kidding, I take naps."
"Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed."
"I can’t even imagine how much I would weigh if I actually liked salad."
"I’m on a see-food diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me kitteh memes."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
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"I’m a multitasker: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."
"I have a headache, I’m on a diet, and I need some ice cream."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should see my friends."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!"
"Sarcasm: Just another service I offer."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"If I can't be famous, I want to be infamous."
"I don’t need Google. My wife knows everything."
"My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"Adulting is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!"
"I’m actually allergic to the outside."
"The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross. I’ll take coffee."
"If life gives you lemons, add vodka!"
"You can't make everybody happy; you're not a taco."
"I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
"I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I'm not lazy; I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me."
"You can’t make everybody happy; you’re not a taco."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!"
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should see my sister!"
"I have a sleep disorder. It’s called 'Sleeping for all of eternity.'"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I'm so glad we had this time together. Just to have a laugh or sing a song."
"I found my soulmate, and it’s pizza."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"The first five days after the weekend are the hardest."
"They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that’s pretty much the same thing."
"If I were a superhero, my power would be sleeping!"
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself in sweatpants."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"I put the pro in procrastinate."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should see my sister."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Of course, I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I'm not short, I'm fun-sized."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"You're never too old to have a happy childhood."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I don't need an inspirational quote, I need coffee."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I told my therapist about my addiction to Twitter. He said I should connect more."
"Sarcasm is how I hug."
"I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are amazing!"
"I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
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