125 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Presidents.
"I have never been hurt by what I didn’t say."
"The more you read, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why read?"
"I’m not a member of any organized political party. I’m a Democrat."
"Every time you bring up the past, you are in the present."
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
"We are all Americans. I agree with you, but I also think that we are all just a little bit insane."
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
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"Politics is just like show business. You have to be really smart and a good entertainer."
"In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes."
"A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation."
"I can’t wait to see you. But I also can’t wait to not see you."
"I think I am somewhat of an anomaly in political history. I am not term-limited."
"I have a great deal of respect for the people who are behind the desk right now, trying to figure out how to fix the mess we're all in."
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and maybe spiders."
"There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name."
"I don’t believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in parties."
"I never liked a man who didn’t put his feet on the desk."
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."
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"Sometimes, the best way to make a point is to make fun of it."
"It’s hard to argue with someone who thinks they’re right."
"The presidency is a splendid misery."
"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – and an occasional president."
"I didn't set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird."
"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife."
"I get up in the morning and I see the sun shining through the window. I think, 'Well, that's nice,' and then I pull the blinds down and go back to bed."
"I think the most important thing we can do to help fight terrorism is to make sure that we respect the dignity of every single person on the planet. And that includes people who are serving sentence in our prisons."
"The road to the White House is paved with the bones of pundits."
"I wish I had as much faith in my own ability to govern as the electorate has in me."
"If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve."
"I'll be the first to admit that I have no clue what I'm doing. But I know I can make it look good!"
"The trouble with our economy is that too many people have jobs."
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"I think I've got a good sense of humor. At least that’s what my mom says."
"I'm all for keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."
"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."
"I'm not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship."
"You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get."
"A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of the user."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"The only time my advice has been followed is when I had a firearm in my hand."
"The difference between a politician and a snail is that a snail leaves its shell behind when it moves."
"A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman thinks of the next generation."
"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
"I have a problem with authority. When I was in the army, I used to take off my shirt and fire my gun in the air when somebody would tell me to do something."
"Whatever you are, be a good one."
"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"If you're not in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?"
"I never can make out what those who do not believe in God see in themselves."
"I would make a deal with the devil to see the day when I have my own political party, where I could say whatever I want!"
"A president's hardest task is not to do what is right, but to know what is right."
"I think black Americans have been through a hell of a lot, and I really think they deserve to be able to think that they can go to the White House and talk about their lives."
"You can't be a beacon if your light doesn't shine."
"It's hard to be a physicist without being an oftentimes liar. Maybe that's why I became president."
"I think we all know that the presidency is such a solemn and noble office that we should approach it only when we absolutely have to."
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?"
"I don't want everybody to be in the same place, but I want everybody to be free to be themselves."
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time."
"I am not worried about the threats to this country. I am worried about what they will do with my personal information."
"Every man is a king, and I believe it's my job to make sure we have a country that cares for all its citizens."
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
"In politics, absurdity is not a handicap."
"The difference between a politician and a snail is that one is a slimy creature and the other is a mollusk."
"Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason."
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."
"It’s a strange world of human beings. This is something that doesn’t always get considered fully."
"I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don’t always agree with them."
"If you're a man, you don't get much on your birthday. But if you're a woman, it's a national holiday."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders."
"I never shot a man. I shot a president."
"I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific."
"I feel like I could run a mile right now. But I won't."
"I actually think the White House is a pretty good place to work. It has its ups and downs, but it's a great opportunity to serve."
"I must confess that I was not a great student. The worst I ever did was in calculus."
"You know, you can't be too careful when you're dealing with a president."
"People in the long run are going to do more to regulate themselves than anything the government can propose."
"I think there are two varieties of people; doctors and patients. And I’m a patient."
"The president is just a man, and he’s entitled to make mistakes. Just because he’s a big man doesn’t mean he can’t make small mistakes."
"Everything can be changed, and it will be; that’s the main lesson of our history."
"I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal."
"The only reason to give a speech is to say something that has no place in a normal conversation."
"The American public is not naive. They’re just a little slow sometimes."
"We’re all human. And that’s what I am. I’m just an ordinary human being trying to do the best I can."
"I’m going to fix my hair in front of the camera. I want to look good for my future colleagues!"
"I don’t think you can measure the impact of a president in terms of their approval ratings."
"We are a nation of laws, not men. Unless, of course, the man is the president."
"We're not going to let this wreck us. We're going to learn from it, laugh about it, and move on."
"A perfect example of why I am so concerned about the future of our country is what we just witnessed this day."
"The hardest challenge of my presidency has been to keep a straight face in the Oval Office."
"It’s time for new leadership. Time for a new tsunami."
"Some people just need a pat on the head and a pat on the butt."
"Being president is like riding a tiger. A man has to keep on holding on or he is eaten."
"I’m not a weatherman, but I do have my finger on the pulse of the country."
"As I’m getting older, I feel like I’m ascending to a higher level of understanding."
"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell."
"I have no idea how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But I do know how to make a sandwich with a piece of bread and a piece of bread."
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
"The only thing I know is that I know nothing."
"You can't be a winner and be afraid to lose."
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
"I have a nice and simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and the president!"
"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there is no river."
"I can tell you that I have made some mistakes, and I will probably make some more."
"I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all."
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."
"If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog."
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
"We’re all going to die, and in the end, none of it will matter."
"I’ve learned that mistakes can often be as good a teacher as success."
"The trouble with our people is that they don’t think. They think they think."
"Nothing is easier than saying words. Nothing is harder than living them day after day."
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
"When they come for you, if you're not on board with the latest fad, they'll just run you over."
"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
"You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."
"I don’t always know what I’m talking about, but I know how to use a teleprompter."
"It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."
"In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way."
"You can’t make a steak without breaking some eggs."
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