100 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Mothers.
"I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, 'Not yet, but we placed an ad just in case.'"
"I told my mom I am going to run away. She said, 'Okay, I packed your suitcase.'"
"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?', it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
"I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know."
"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest."
"Mothers are like buttons. They hold everything together."
"I love cleaning up messes I didn't make. So I became a mother."
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"I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring."
"A mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."
"Life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mother."
"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love."
"When you look into your mother's eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth."
"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
"Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love."
"I love cleaning up messes... I find it incredibly therapeutic."
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it."
"I used to have functioning brain cells... then I became a mom."
"I don't have a favorite child, but if I did, it wouldn't be you."
"Raising kids is a walk in the park... Jurassic Park."
"Naptime is my favorite time of the day... for the kids, not for me!"
"Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math."
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"I don't always yell, but when I do, my kids are probably ignoring me."
"Cleaning the house while kids are still growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing."
"If at first, you don't succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to in the beginning."
"Toddlers: Because being constantly reminded that you have zero control is good for the ego."
"I child-proofed my house, but they're still getting in."
"I brought snacks!... Oh, you meant for the kids?"
"Motherhood: Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine."
"Life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mom."
"Parenthood is the scariest hood you'll ever go through."
"Why don't parents tell you the real story about how babies are made? Like that they need to eat every 3 hours."
"Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up."
"I don’t care what anyone says, I'm the best mom in the world... for my cat."
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
"My kids call it 'yelling' when I raise my voice. I call it motivational speaking for the selective listener."
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"I have a 2-year-old today, tomorrow he'll be 20... because that's how the math works when you're a parent."
"My kids are the reason I wake up each morning... to ask myself why I woke up so early."
"Motherhood is like a constant battle between going to bed to catch some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time."
"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children."
"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."
"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."
"When all else fails, call your mother."
"Motherhood: Because who else is going to tell you to make sure to change your underwear every day?"
"Nothing is really lost until your mom can't find it."
"When you're in trouble, the first person you call is your mom. Trust me, I know."
"Finding your mom's lost glasses is the real life equivalent of completing a video game level."
"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."
"Mom - the person most likely to write an autobiography and never mention herself."
"Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It's huge and scary - it's an act of infinite optimism."
"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: 'Take it or leave it.'"
"Mothers are like glue. Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together."
"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant."
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster too."
"You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool mom."
"I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, 'Not yet, but we placed an order.'"
"I never knew how much love my heart could hold until someone called me 'mom.'"
"You know you’re a mom when you understand why mama bear’s porridge was cold."
"A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."
"Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing."
"A mother’s love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."
"Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother."
"Moms are like buttons – they hold everything together."
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
"Mothers are full of love and laughter, filling our hearts forever after."
"A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
"A mother’s hug lasts long after she lets go."
"Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."
"The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."
"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother."
"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss, at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
"My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."
"All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."
"A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them."
"When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth."
"Mother: the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind."
"I've got a great mother. She still sends me cookies."
"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."
"Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease."
"My mother is a walking miracle."
"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
"Mothers are all slightly insane."
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."
"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
"Most mothers are instinctive philosophers."
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
"Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face."
"The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation."
"Motherhood: All love begins and ends there."
"A mother is the one who fills your heart in the first place."
"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
"Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries."
"A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them."
"The best place to cry is on a mother's arms."
"A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take."
"If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way mom told you to in the beginning."
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