Memorable Funny Motivational Quotes

26 result(s) for Funny Motivational Quotes.
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
Oscar Wilde
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
Steven Wright
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
Unknown
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
Steven Wright
"I didn't fail the test; I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
Benjamin Franklin
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
George Carlin
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"I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up and not being able to remember it."
Unknown
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Rodney Dangerfield
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
Betty Reese
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
Unknown
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
Unknown
"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it."
Jordan Belfort
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
Woody Allen
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
Cathy Guisewite
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
Charlie Chaplin
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
Woody Allen
"If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big."
Donald Trump
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
Robin Williams
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
Will Rogers
"Success is often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable."
Coco Chanel
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"I am an early bird and a night owl... so I’m wise and I have worms."
Michael Scott (Steve Carell)
"The best way to predict the future is to create it yourself."
Peter Drucker
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."
Bill Cosby
"You can't be afraid of what people are going to say, because you're never going to make everyone happy."
Jennifer Lopez
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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