50 result(s) for Short Inspirational And Funny Quotes.
"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito."
"My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I just got a tattoo of a clock."
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
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"The only thing standing between me and my goal is the refusal to make it happen."
"Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese."
"I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"You're never too old to learn something stupid."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work out; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere; a pessimist sees only the red stoplight."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"Dream big and dare to fail."
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"Life is short; make each hair flip fabulous."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll be happy to do it for you."
"The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat."
"You can't make everybody happy. You're not a taco."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"The only time to be positive you've got a clear path is when you’re on the edge of a cliff."
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"If people are not laughing at your goals, your goals are too small."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
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"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
"I'm on the patch right now... a map is a GPS!"
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
"I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"Four out of three people struggle with math."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty."
"The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!"
"The best way to predict your future is to create it, but a nap never hurts."
"I’d like to see you on a slow day."
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