126 result(s) for Funny Half Marathon Quotes.
"A lot can happen in a race…but I usually just settle for finishing."
"I don’t run to add days to my life. I run to add life to my days."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"Running a marathon is like the worst first date you could ever go on."
"I thought I was in shape until I signed up for a half marathon."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy running shoes and that’s pretty close."
"Some people train for the marathon, I train for the post-race pizza."
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"The only thing that should be running is your spirit, not your half marathon."
"Half marathon: Because 13.1 miles seemed like a good idea at the time!"
"To run a half marathon is to swim in the ocean of your own ambition."
"Why do I run? I like being able to outrun my excuses."
"I’m just here for the medals and snacks."
"I run because I can eat more pizza."
"My only training plan is to run from what I’m supposed to be doing."
"Running: the art of keeping your body in motion while avoiding the urge to stop for snacks."
"If running didn’t hurt, it wouldn’t be called running!"
"Why do half marathons? Because paying to run 13.1 miles is cheaper than therapy."
"Running a half marathon: the only time it’s acceptable to scream 'I’m dying!' and not mean it."
"If you can laugh at yourself while running, you’ll never tire."
"I run slow enough to enjoy the scenery… and the snacks at every aid station!"
"They say running is a mental sport. If that’s true, I’m failing at both."
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"Running a half marathon is my favorite way to avoid doing laundry."
"Run the first half like you're a lion, and the second half like you're a gazelle being chased!"
"I don’t run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days."
"I run like a tortoise, not for speed but for the snacks at the finish line."
"Running a half marathon is like a relationship; it’s all fun and games until you hit the wall."
"I signed up for 13.1 miles of pain, but all I got was this lousy medal."
"If you see me running, it’s probably because I’m being chased!"
"I thought they said 'rum' marathon. I am disappointed."
"Why do they call it a 'half marathon'? I’m still feeling the other half!"
"I run to clear my mind. And, let’s be honest, to eat cupcakes guilt-free."
"Running is a mental sport, and we're all insane!"
"If running is good for your heart, I just might have the healthiest heart in the world… or not."
"The only BS I want in my life is ‘Backstairs running’!"
"I run because I really, really like desserts."
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"I’m just here for the wine at the finish line."
"A half marathon is a reminder that the real race is with yourself."
"Sweat is just my fat crying. It’s a good thing I got a LOT of fat!"
"Running: cheaper than therapy and with better snacks!"
"The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running… usually at their own pace."
"I don’t run unless someone is chasing me… or there’s a donut at the finish line."
"My legs may be tired, but my heart is happy!"
"Why run a half marathon? Because if I can do it, you can too!"
"Pain is temporary, but finish line snacks are forever."
"Keep calm and run happy, even if you trip over your own feet."
"My favorite part of a half marathon is the carb-loading before it."
"If you’re going to run a half marathon, make sure your playlist is just as long as the race!"
"Running a half marathon: Where the real victory is getting that shirt after the race."
"I don't run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days."
"Running: cheaper than therapy."
"I’m not running a marathon; I’m just trying to outrun my last meal."
"If you run a half marathon, can you still call yourself half a marathoner?"
"I like to think of running as a form of therapy, just without the couch."
"Why do I run? Because punching people is frowned upon."
"The only time I run is when I’m being chased."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I run because it’s cheaper than a gym membership."
"I thought about going for a run, but then I just decided to be a couch potato instead."
"Running a half marathon is like lifting weights, only you don't really get to stop."
"You know you’re a runner when your idea of a party is a four-hour running session followed by a two-hour snack."
"I’m in a love-hate relationship with running. I love to hate it."
"You can’t run away from your problems, but you can jog slowly away from them."
"The race isn’t over until I’m out of snacks!"
"Running is the best way to find peace… until you trip and fall."
"I run like the winded."
"I just want to be fast enough to outrun my excuses."
"Sweat is just fat crying."
"I run so I can eat cupcakes."
"Some people dream of success while others wake up and run."
"If the brain is a computer, why do we keep forgetting our running shoes?"
"A mile a day keeps the bad moods away!"
"Running: because the only thing that tastes better than pizza is running to pizza."
"A good run can fix almost anything, except for a bad hair day."
"Running is a mental sport and we're all insane."
"Who needs therapy when you can work out your problems with a 13.1 mile run?"
"I run marathons because punching people is frowned upon."
"Half marathon? It’s like a 5k with a bit of extra pain."
"I can't run a half marathon. My bed is too comfy."
"Running a half marathon is a great way to test just how much pain you can endure for a banana and a medal."
"If you see me running, you should run too because something is probably chasing me!"
"I thought they said 'rum' marathon. That's why I signed up!"
"A good laugh and a long run are the two best cures for anything."
"I run because I really, really like dessert."
"Some people create their own destiny. I run marathons to avoid mine."
"I'm only running this half marathon because I want to eat carbs without guilt!"
"The marathon is the only church that I know of that lets you run for your sins."
"Sure, you can take a shortcut in a half marathon... but it’ll only be a shortcut to the nearest medic tent!"
"Running a half marathon is the greatest way to figure out how much you can hurt and still go south for a cheeseburger!"
"Running is the only sport where you can have a completely different experience than the person next to you while doing the same thing."
"Why do I run? It’s cheaper than therapy!"
"I used to think that I could run a marathon, but my couch wasn't having it."
"Pain is temporary. A medal is forever. And that’s why I ran the half marathon!"
"Running: cheaper than therapy and more fun than going to the gym."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch!"
"There are people who run marathons, and then there are those who recover from them with pizza!"
"Going for a run is a great way to clear my mind. Especially right before I eat a whole pizza."
"After a long run, I’m hungry enough to eat a horse. Too bad I’m too tired to catch one!"
"I signed up for the half marathon so I could get the free training shirt!"
"Running a half marathon is like going through labor. You forget the pain and want to do it again only to realize you had a 50% chance of it being worse!"
"When I run, I feel like a superhero. Then reality check – no one is chasing me!"
"Half marathons: Proof that you can love something and hate it at the same time."
"I’ve never met a marathon I didn’t like, except the half marathon. Those are just 13.1 reasons to run away from the finish line!"
"Running a half marathon is like dating: it starts off great, but by the end, you just want it to be over!"
"If you see me running, it’s probably because I’m being chased."
"Running a half marathon: the journey of 13.1 miles starts with a single step and ends with a whole lot of regret."
"It’s a half marathon. I’m just here for the snacks!"
"A half marathon is a race, but also a really long way to find out how many times you can question your life choices."
"The first half of a marathon is mostly about pacing. The second half? It’s all about surviving!"
"I thought running a half marathon would be a breeze. They said it was just like a ‘long run’… apparently, they don’t know what ‘long’ means!"
"My longest run is 13.1 miles… and my second longest run is to my fridge after the race!"
"You know you’re a half marathon runner when the thought of running 13.1 miles seems more appealing than and actual 26.2."
"I run because I really, really like dessert!"
"Why run a half marathon? Because I’m too lazy to train for a full one!"
"Running a half marathon is just like a regular marathon, except you’re only unprepared for half the distance!"
"I thought I could make it through a half marathon. Turns out, I was trying to ‘wing it’ on a 'half’ baked plan!"
"Half marathoners: putting the ‘fun’ in ‘functional fitness’ since forever!"
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy running shoes for a half marathon. And that’s pretty close!"
"13.1 miles means I’m really committed to being able to eat more tacos guilt-free!"
"Running a half marathon: because sometimes it’s necessary to lock your doors and let your legs do the talking!"
"Who needs therapy when you can run 13.1 miles and sweat out your problems?"
"A half marathon is just another way to say, ‘I promise to be tired later!’"
"Why suffer through 26.2 miles when you can do half of it and still call yourself a runner?"
"Running a half marathon means I can complain about my training and my knees at the same time!"
"Running a half marathon is like a rollercoaster: it has its ups and downs, screams, and may even make you sick!"
"If I had a dollar for every time I questioned why I’m doing a half marathon, I could probably buy a pizza instead!"
"Just keep running—unless there’s cake!"
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