82 result(s) for Funny Golf Quotes.
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a very small hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose."
"Golf is a game in which you can stand in the middle of a fairway and still be in the rough."
"In golf as in life, it's the follow through that makes the difference."
"If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is."
"The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top."
"Golf is a game in which you can't ever seem to fix what's wrong with your swing."
"Golf is a game in which you can score a six, out of five."
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"Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net the biggest return."
"Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the players well."
"Golf is a game I can't quit because I hate it too much."
"Golf is a game of misses. The winner is the player who makes the least."
"I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right."
"Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly 40 years to discover that I can't play it."
"The only time to take a divot is when you are digging a grave."
"Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age and retain the playthings of childhood."
"The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil."
"I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles."
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
"Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens."
"They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's much more complicated than that."
"Golf is a search for perfection, for balance. It's about meditation and concentration... You have to use hand and brain."
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"Golf is what we used to play before we had smartphones."
"Golf is a sport where success depends less on strength of body than strength of mind and character."
"The only time a golfer will travel too far is the wrong way."
"Golf is not just about the game; it's about companionship, camaraderie, and friendship."
"Golf is a game in which you have to suppress so many emotions and call on so many others that it's a perfect training for life."
"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's game: it's called an eraser."
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose."
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
"Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose."
"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe."
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five."
"The only way to improve your game is to play golf with someone who is better than you."
"The mark of a great player is in his ability to come back. The great champions have all come back from defeat."
"Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work."
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"Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 50 years and I still haven't the slightest idea of how to play."
"I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf."
"Success in this game depends less on strength of body than strength of mind and character."
"They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that."
"Golf is a search for perfection, for balance. It's about meditation and concentration. You have to use hand and brain."
"Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case."
"Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course – the distance between your ears."
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
"The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie."
"Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't the slightest idea how to play."
"Golf is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well."
"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."
"Golf brings out the best and the worst in a person - patience, concentration, frustration, and exhilaration."
"Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated."
"Golf is not a sport; it's a way of life."
"If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business."
"The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done."
"Golf is not just exercise; it's an adventure, a romance... a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined."
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."
"Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will."
"Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies."
"If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf."
"Golf is the adult version of an Easter Egg Hunt."
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five."
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
"I miss the days when I could play 36 holes a day. Now, I spend most of my time trying to find where I parked my car."
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose."
"Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic."
"Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it."
"Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood."
"Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears."
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
"Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air."
"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is."
"Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad."
"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
"Golf, like measles, should be caught young."
"Success in golf depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character."
"Golf is a science, the study of a lifetime, in which you can exhaust yourself but never your subject."
"The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight."
"I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course."
"The most important shot in golf is the next one."
"If you watched a game, you could have fun. Or, if you weren't in the mood, they could cure you."
"Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart."
"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at."
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
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