25 result(s) for Funny Ex Quotes.
"My ex-girlfriend has a great sense of humor; she laughs at everything I do."
"I'm not saying my ex was bad, but her picture now appears on bottles of poison."
"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"My ex asked me where I was moving. I said, 'On.'"
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised."
"My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better."
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are."
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"We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops."
"Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park."
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it."
"That's why they call it 'broken' heart."
"I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back."
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
"If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books."
"My boyfriend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."
"My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our meals."
"I had a dream that my boyfriend was cheating on me. So, I woke up and Googled 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'"
"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."
"I'm dating a model. Not human, scale."
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"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then, I want to move in with them."
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards."
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
"Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there."
