126 result(s) for Funny Cowboy Quotes.
"I had a dog that was so lazy, he didn’t even chase the chickens. He just sat there and watched them go by."
"Life is too short to be serious. Make it funny — at least once a day!"
"We’re all just trying to find a little bit of happiness in a very crazy world — and the best way to do that is with a good joke!"
"If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough."
"There’s two kinds of people in this world: those who want to ride and those who don’t know they want to ride yet."
"I've been to lots of rodeos, and it's always those little bulls that get a guy thrown into the air."
"Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the fire hydrant."
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"I don’t always eat beef jerky, but when I do, I prefer the kind that comes from a cowboy."
"Saddle up and ride on; it’s just a bumpy road to the next good time."
"Wranglers are like pants. The best are old and will never go out of style."
"Horses are like potato chips; you can’t have just one!"
"I still have my cowboy boots, and I wear them every chance I get!"
"The only thing better than a good friend is a good friend on a horse."
"If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around."
"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."
"Life is a long, hard road; and if you can bring your horse along, you might just enjoy the ride."
"A man is like a horse; it takes a lifetime of riding to get the best out of him."
"The cowboy's greatest gift is a sense of humor — it helps him ride through life’s ups and downs."
"If you can't ride with the big dogs, stay on the porch."
"There ain't no problem a few more animals can't solve."
"You ain’t livin’ unless you’re givin’ everyone around you a reason to smile."
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"Chasing cows: sometimes it’s just more fun to be the one with the rope!"
"A cowboy's motto: If you can’t handle the heat, don’t look for the brand."
"I never trusted a man who didn't drink. We all gotta have our vices. Mine just happen to be bigger than yours."
"Cowboys may get tied down, but they never get rusted."
"I'm a cowboy, I can take care of myself. Especially when there's a hot meal at the end of the trail."
"The only thing worse than a cowboy on a diet is a cowboy with no coffee."
"When life hands you lemons, trade 'em for a horse."
"A cowboy ain't a cowboy without his hat, and a diet ain't a diet without a cheat day."
"I don't need therapy; I just need to ride my horse."
"If you’re gonna be a cowboy, you have to be able to stand the good and the bad. Mostly the bad, though. Trust me."
"In a world full of trends, a cowboy is a classic."
"I’m not saying I’m a bad cowboy, but I once tried to ride a bull and it took off. Next I knew, I was on the other side of town."
"You know you're a cowboy when you can sleep anywhere as long as your hat is by your side."
"They say money can't buy happiness, but it can sure rent a horse."
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"A cowboy is a man who can ride, rope, and wrangle. But mostly, he's just someone who can hold onto his coffee."
"If you think it’s hard to get a job as a cowboy, try getting on the bull over there."
"Some days, I’m a cowboy. Other days, I’m just a guy with a horse and a bad attitude."
"I was a cowboy before it became cool; now, I'm just a relic."
"Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Because someone told him to get a long little doggie."
"A cowboy doesn't need a GPS; he just needs a good sense of direction and maybe a little luck."
"What do you call a cowboy who rides a sheep? A ewe-ber star!"
"Rain on a cowboy is just a reminder it’s time to load the truck and head south."
"I reckon the best advice a cowboy can give is to never give your horse a name that you wouldn’t want to call at 3 AM."
"Being a cowboy is like being a politician: Sometimes you gotta do some wrangling to get the job done."
"Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long dog!"
"You can't take life too seriously. After all, no one gets out alive, and none of us can ride a horse without a little humor."
"When the cattle are low, the cowboy's spirits should still be high."
"A cowboy’s favorite ice cream? Whippy!"
"I'm not saying I'm the best cowboy, but I can outrun most of my issues on horseback."
"A cowboy is a man who can ride a horse, but he still can't ride a wine bottle."
"I told my horse about you. It laughed."
"If cowboys were made to order, I’d want mine like a good cup of coffee: strong, hot, and a little bit sweet."
"You can't get lost if you don't care where you are."
"I once thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken."
"There are only two things that smell like this: one is a dead skunk, and the other is a cowboy."
"It's better to walk alone than to walk with a crowd going in the wrong direction."
"Sometimes you just gotta saddle up and ride!"
"The only time a cowboy should be a little bit concerned is when he sees a horse wearing a saddle with the name ‘Gator’ on it."
"Always drink upstream from the herd."
"If you're gonna be a cowboy, then you've gotta learn how to dance."
"Cowboys never die; they just ride away."
"You know you're a cowboy whenyour horse is your best friend."
"I was raised on a ranch. That's how I learned to ride. I had to ride to school."
"When in doubt, let your horse do the thinking."
"A cowboy is a man who carries a saddle for the love of riding, not for the sake of a ride."
"If you ain’t got a horse, you ain’t got no business the real cowboy way."
"Your horse is a reflection of you. Don't be surprised if it acts up."
"When you’re in a pinch, just remember: If you can’t win, at least make a good story."
"I’m not lazy, I just enjoy doing nothing from time to time."
"Life’s too short to wear tight saddles."
"You can put a cowboy in a suit, but you can’t take the cowboy out of his heart."
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If it gives you cow dung, just step over it and keep walking."
"A horse knows if you're afraid. So do your kids."
"I’ve got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom."
"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."
"A cowboy is a man who is more interested in the ranch than in the men."
"When in doubt, add more horses."
"My roping's getting better, my horse is getting better, and I'm getting older, so it's a safe bet I'm going to be winning a lot more."
"Why did the cowgirl break up with her boyfriend? Because he couldn't handle her range!"
"You know you are a true Texan if when you hear 'drought', you think 'where's my beer?'"
"Never ask a cowboy for a ride. He’s bound to take you for one."
"Cowboys don’t need fences—they fence themselves in."
"Life is like riding a horse. You don’t fall off unless you stop pushing."
"I can’t keep calm, I’m a cowboy!"
"In Texas, we don’t just chew gum; we chew it with style and spurs."
"You might be a cowboy if you think 'time out' is what you do on your horses!"
"The cowboy’s creed is to ride as far as he can without getting caught."
"If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging."
"I ain’t just a cowboy, I’m an experience!"
"Cowboys don’t do yoga. They stretch to survive!"
"There’s not much a man can’t figure out with a horse and a little coffee."
"If you want to see a cowboy smile, just let him see a good sunset over the plains."
"A cowboy can pick a wife, but be careful what you rope!"
"If you think you've got problems, try getting a lasso tangled in a cactus."
"You could take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the cowboy out of the boy."
"Never miss a good chance to shut up."
"You can’t make old friends, so saddle up with the young and foolish."
"A horse is the only animal that can change your life."
"You know you’re a true cowboy if you can cook a steak on a campfire faster than you can on the grill."
"If you’re gonna be dumb, you better be tough."
"I don't know why they call it 'horsepower.' Horses are so dumb they couldn't blow out a match."
"I keep my money in the bank, where the bad guys can’t get it, and out west we keep our money in the saddlebag."
"A cowboy is a man with guts and a horse."
"There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works."
"Never underestimate the power of a cowboy hat."
"You can’t cowboy up if your boots are too tight."
"The only thing that burns in Hell is the inability to love the people who you don't like."
"Out here, we don’t call 'em problems, we call 'em opportunities."
"A cowboy without a horse is like a man without a faith."
"Just because you’re on the right track doesn’t mean you won’t get run over if you just sit there."
"There’s no need to be rude. Just call me a redneck."
"You can't take it with you, so why not enjoy life and have a good laugh?"
"If you think I’m a bad driver, you should see my horse."
"Ride it like you stole it!"
"Life is good; horses make it better."
"I can’t be held responsible for what my face does when you talk."
"When it comes to problems, I’m like a horse-napping steer - I’ll step left when I should’ve stepped right."
"I’m so broke I can’t even pay attention."
"You may take the boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet!"
"You can't put a saddle on a good time."
"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere."
"Happiness is a good horse and a good ride."
"A cowboy’s best friend is his horse, and a horse’s best friend is a good cowboy."
"The best cows are in the moo-d for a good laugh!"
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