97 result(s) for Funny Beer Quotes.
"I drink beer because I like to party. I drink whiskey because I like to keep it classy."
"I work until beer o'clock."
"A beer a day keeps the doctor away. At least, it keeps the doctor."
"Beer is the answer, but I can’t remember the question."
"Why don’t we get drunk and go to the game?"
"Time flies when you’re having rum. But time gets even faster when you’re drinking beer."
"I can’t make it to the bar tonight, I’m too busy trying to drink all the beer in my fridge."
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"In beer, there is strength. In water, there is bacteria."
"I like my beer like I like my mornings: dark and bitter."
"Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee. Behind every unsuccessful person is a massive amount of beer."
"I’ve only been wrong once, and that was when I thought I was wrong about drinking beer."
"There are two kinds of people: those who drink beer, and those who are wrong."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it, especially beer."
"If you can’t drink it, it ain’t beer."
"You can’t make everybody happy. You are not beer."
"It’s not how many beers you drink, it’s how many beers you can still stand after drinking."
"If life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand beer!"
"There’s nothing a beer can’t solve."
"A man who lies about beer makes other lies seem true."
"Beer: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad."
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day."
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"I never met a beer I didn’t like."
"Beer: so much more than a breakfast drink."
"There’s no bad beer. Some are just better than others."
"A beer a day keeps the doctor away."
"To alcohol! The cause of—and solution to—all of life’s problems."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"I drink beer to get the worst taste out of my mouth."
"Beer is the answer, but I can't remember the question."
"Without my morning beer, I’m just a potato."
"Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer, and that’s pretty close."
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered."
"Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. ‘Yes’ is the answer."
"Lager is the best beer. You can drink it in the morning, noon, and night."
"A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure."
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"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."
"There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works."
"The best beers are the ones we drink with friends."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. But I also love beers."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"A man who lies about beer makes enemies."
"I drink beer when I’m on my diet. From the glass, it looks like I’m drinking water."
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
"A man who lies about beer makes other lies look true."
"Beer: because no great story ever started with a salad."
"I’ve only been wrong once and that was when I thought I was wrong."
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
"I drink beer because I usually don't drink carbonated water."
"In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria."
"I think I’ll just be happy today. Drink beer. Not worry."
"Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC."
"There is no bad beer. Some are just better than others."
"A beer a day keeps the doctor away. At least that's what I heard."
"I would kill a man for a drop of sweet beer."
"If you can’t drink beer, you can’t be my friend."
"Beer: because no great story started with someone eating a salad."
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis."
"I think beer is good for you, because everybody has good times when they're drinking beer."
"Life is too short to drink cheap beer."
"My beer is not cold enough. I’ll be right back."
"Beer, if drunk in moderation, promotes health, wealth, and happiness."
"To beer, or not to beer? That is a silly question."
"A man must cultivate his own garden, and I choose to cultivate my beer supply."
"Beer is like the universe: it is vast, and full of mysteries."
"I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not."
"Sometimes when I’m bored, I like to pretend I’m a bottled beer."
"There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get it."
"If you can’t handle me at my beer, you don’t deserve me at my wine."
"Beer is my favorite fruit."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"I have a beer gut, but I’m working on it. I’m just interested in getting a little less beer and a little more gut."
"I drink beer because I like it. Sometimes I think I like it more than people."
"If you can’t drink beer, you can’t be a real man."
"A beer a day keeps the doctor away. At least, it does if the doctor is cute."
"In alcohol's defense, I have to say that it has never once lied to me. It has never once pretended to be something it's not."
"There are two types of people: those who love beer and those who are wrong."
"Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer."
"Life is too short to drink bad beer."
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
"The best beer is the one you drink with friends."
"If you want to be happy for a year, plant a garden. If you want to be happy for life, drink beer."
"Good people drink good beer."
"Let’s face it: a nice cold beer is better than a warm hug."
"I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror."
"Beer is not a drink, it's a hobby."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that's kind of the same thing."
"There's a fine line between a drunk and a senior citizen. One is just a little bit drunker."
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline."
"I am thankful for the invention of beer. It’s what makes life bearable."
"A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be sure."
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"Beer: because no good story ever started with someone eating a salad."
"You know you're a beer lover when you get a tattoo of your favorite brew."
"The best part of waking up is beer in your cup."
"A day without beer is like a day without sunshine."
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