132 result(s) for Funny Cold Quotes.
"I didn't know how cold it was until I was outside drinking my iced coffee."
"The cold never bothered me anyway, because I always wear my winter coat like a wrap dress."
"It's so cold outside, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."
"If you think it's cold now, wait till you see us all wearing our winter coats!"
"Cold weather is like a bad relationship: you need to bundle up and just hope for the best."
"Chill out—it's just a little bit cold! Call me when it’s freezing!"
"I'm only cold because you're not here to warm me up."
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"I love walking in the snow... said nobody ever who didn't own a shovel."
"Every winter, I get a little more revenge for the summer heat."
"I finally found the perfect winter look: I call it frozen chic."
"When it's cold, just wear more clothes. Simple as that!"
"I asked my friend how she stays warm in winter. She said she just wears her smile! I said, 'That’s nice, but I still need a cozy sweater!'"
"The only thing better than hot cocoa on a cold day is hot cocoa on a cold day with someone who makes you laugh."
"It's so cold out there, even penguins are considering wearing jackets."
"Winter: the season that makes us all appreciate our blankets a little more."
"Do you ever realized that in winter, we all look like marshmallows, just floating around in the cold?"
"Winter is nature's way of saying, 'Grab a hot drink and cuddle up!'"
"I'm in a long-term relationship with winter. It's just as cold, but way more predictable."
"You know it's cold outside when you can see your breath and you're still looking for your mittens."
"Frostbite is just winter's way of giving you a cold handshake."
"Cold hands, warm heart. Or in my case, just cold hands!"
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"There’s no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing... and I am always underdressed."
"I’m not a cold person, I just have a cool exterior!"
"A bad day in winter is still better than a good day shoveling snow!"
"I don't always wear a parka, but when I do, I make sure it has a sense of humor."
"I'll take a snow day over a regular day any day!"
"I'm so cold, I can see my breath. And that's just from the vodka."
"If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside."
"Cold? I thought I’d find an ice cream machine back there."
"There’s no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing."
"A snow day keeps the kids at home, and that's when the real fun begins."
"When it's cold outside, I have my own chilly little way of staying warm."
"Funny how a cold winter can make you appreciate a warm cup of coffee more than ever."
"I can't feel my face. Oh wait, it’s just cold!"
"I can't believe I actually used the heater. What has this winter done to me?"
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"Winter: Nature's way of reminding you who is boss."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"I thought it was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, but here we are."
"Why did the snowman call for a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a total flake."
"Some people are like snowflakes. They fall, but never seem to land."
"The only thing that’s colder than the weather is my ex's heart."
"The forecast calls for cold… with a chance of the blues."
"Nothing like a good cold to put a chill in your plans."
"The best thing about winter is the chance to bring out my inner grizzly bear."
"Is it just me, or does everyone else get colder as they get older?"
"Cold weather is nature's way of telling you to stay inside and drink hot chocolate."
"I love winter because I can wear all my comfy clothes at once."
"I have a new favorite winter sport: sitting by the heater."
"Every time it snows, I get excited like a kid. Then I remember, I have to shovel."
"Here’s to being cold enough to miss summer but warm enough to hug coffee."
"Winter is a time for stories. Too bad I can’t get my toes to warm up enough to read!"
"It's so cold outside, I saw a chicken laying an egg and it froze before it hit the ground."
"The cold itself is not a bad thing. It’s just that I’m never dressed for it!"
"I love the cold. It’s the dressing for the cold that I hate."
"Winter is coming. And I’m mentally preparing for hibernation."
"I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made an appointment for next Tuesday."
"It’s so cold outside, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!"
"A cold day in December is better than a warm day in January!"
"How can you expect me to embrace winter when my children are still screaming at me for making them wear jackets?"
"I'm convinced that the only reason the cold exists is to remind us how great hot chocolate is."
"I hear it's going to snow next week. I guess I better stop going to the beach every day!"
"In winter, you can’t just stay indoors all the time… unless you want to become a recluse. That’s my winter survival tip!"
"If you think it's cold outside, try warming up to new friends. Just don’t forget to wear your mittens!"
"Cold weather is a great excuse to cuddle... with a bag of chips!"
"The only time I like cold weather is when I'm on a beach in January!"
"I don’t mind the cold, as long as I can stay inside with a book... and snacks."
"There’s no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing. And a lot of times, inappropriate friends!"
"Why did the snowman call for a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake!"
"I love snow, but it’s usually the cold that brings it – and that’s just rude!"
"The only time I'm happiest in the cold is when I’m dreaming of summer."
"Winter is nature’s way of reminding us to stay inside and eat cookies!"
"I dread winter every year until I remember how much fun it is to complain about it!"
"Not all heroes wear capes. Some just wear parkas and remain indoors!"
"Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting, and autumn a mosaic of them all. But let’s skip to spring!"
"I love the cold—so long as I can take a permanent vacation somewhere warm!"
"Cold never bothered me anyway… but it sure has made me rethink my wardrobe!"
"The best thing about winter? It’s finally too cold for anyone to bother you!"
"I never knew the meaning of comfort until I discovered heated blankets in winter."
"If you’re cold, you’re likely not being hugged enough… so hug me while I’m still warm!"
"I don't live in the past; I live in the cold."
"I went to the store and bought a freezer. I couldn't find the door, so I just left it open."
"The only thing colder than the weather is my social life."
"It's so cold that I saw a penguin wearing a tuxedo."
"It's so cold that I’m starting to feel like my refrigerator."
"Just because it’s cold doesn’t mean you can’t have a hot chocolate!"
"I'm not a winter person. I'm more of a fall-over person."
"Cold weather is like a bad attitude — it’s only fun if you don’t take it seriously."
"Feeling chilly? Just think of it as Mother Nature giving you a big, cold hug."
"I love winter. It’s the only time of year my ice cream doesn't melt!"
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Unless it’s frozen. Then I need a microwave."
"When life gives you snow, make snowmen. When it gets too cold, there's always hot chocolate!"
"The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful — at least until the wood freezes."
"If I had to choose between sunbathing and snowball fighting, I think I’d rather just stay inside and eat ice cream."
"When it’s cold out, just remember: It’s a great excuse to eat more comfort food."
"Cold weather is like a bad breakup; you never realize how bad it is until you're outside, alone, freezing."
"It’s so cold outside that when I peed, it froze before it hit the ground."
"If you think running a marathon is hard, try doing it while carrying your grocery bags in a blizzard."
"Winter is coming is what they said. I thought they wanted me to wear a jacket!"
"The forecast calls for the weather to be cold, but our hearts are warm as we sit by the fire."
"Ice skating is a great way to incorporate falling down into your exercise routine!"
"Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the cold!"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and it responded by freezing. How rude!"
"Winter: the only season where you can get a workout just trying to open your front door."
"I feel like I’m always in a relationship with winter; it’s cold, and it leaves me longing for warmth."
"You know it's cold when you can see your breath, but you wish you couldn't."
"I'm so cold that my beard is frozen. It's like a popsicle, only less edible."
"The cold made me so cranky that I wanted to stab an icicle into my own heart."
"It’s so cold outside, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."
"If you think it's cold outside, just wait until you see the verdict!"
"It’s freezing outside! I can’t feel my face! And I wouldn’t be able to tell if I had a date!"
"The temperature in my office is like my love life: it’s freezing."
"You know it’s cold outside when you see your breath and it’s hanging around longer than your ex."
"When the weather gets cold, the waffles get warm. That's the rule!"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze."
"If you are cold, tea will warm you; If you are too heated, it will cool you."
"Cold is never so cold that we cannot warm it up a little with our laughter."
"The only thing colder than the weather today is my sense of humor."
"Winter is coming, and I need a heater for my heart!"
"The best thing about winter is that it's an excellent excuse to stay in bed under the covers."
"I'm so cold I could blow the whistle on frost!"
"It’s so cold outside that my thoughts are turning to icicles!"
"I love winter—that's when I really start feeling the need for hibernation."
"I didn't think it could get this cold. I'm starting to think I need to invent a hot chocolate IV."
"I feel like a penguin on ice skates in this weather."
"I can't think of anything worse than being trapped outside in the cold without my Wi-Fi."
"It’s so cold I’m considering adopting a snowman as a pet."
"It's so cold that the squirrels are cracking the nuts with their teeth and the trees are shivering."
"Even my coffee is shivering in this cold!"
"When the weather gets cold, my excuses to stay inside multiply."
"The cold is no joke, it's like trying to have a comedy show in a meat locker."
"I told myself I should go for a run... but it was too cold, and my bed was way too warm."
"I love winter, but I’m starting to think this chill is plotting against my sanity!"
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