125 result(s) for Funny Basketball Quotes.
"You've got to be kidding me. How does a guy like you get that shot off? It's unbelievable."
"The only way to prove that you’re a good sport is to lose."
"I told my kids, 'It is not what you do in life, it is how you do it.' Look at me, I can’t even hit a layup!"
"Once you get the ball in your hands, don’t pass it. If you pass, you’re not going to get it back."
"I don't really care about the rest of the world. This is my world."
"I thought Johnson had a lot of stare, but when it comes down to it, the only one that stares back is the basket."
"I can’t believe that many people came out for a game! I appreciate it, but it’s the only cheap entertainment they can afford."
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"There are only two seasons: winter and basketball."
"I make mistakes. I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m just the perfect basketball player in training."
"I can shoot the ball, but I can't make it in the basket. Someone needs to call a doctor."
"When you get a shot, shoot it. If you make it, you can keep playing. If not, I’ll pull out my whistle."
"I don’t believe in luck, I believe in hard work. Mostly because I’m terrible at luck."
"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Mine includes slam dunks!"
"You can't be afraid to fail. It's the fear of failure that makes you good!"
"I’m a big fan of basketball. It was either that or exercise, and let’s be honest: I get more exercise running away from defenders."
"Basketball is a game of mistakes, and I've made a few. If I could, I’d just blame my shoes."
"The most important thing is to work hard. The second most important is to let the other team do the work."
"Sometimes you’re the bug, sometimes you’re the windshield. Just be happy if you don’t get squashed."
"When I see a good player, I just have to give them a high-five. Except when I'm the one guarding them."
"A basketball team is made up of five players, but the real star is often the one sitting on the bench thinking about snacks."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And if you take too many, you end up on the bench."
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"Being a good team player is all about passing the ball…at snack time!"
"Playing basketball is like riding a bike, except the bike shoots back."
"Great athletes have short memories. That’s what made me great! And I’m not great at remembering my passwords, either."
"The game is a lot more fun when you’re hitting your shots. But it’s even more fun when you’re hitting shots and snacking in between."
"I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man!"
"Basketball is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the fewest mistakes wins."
"I asked my coach if I could be a fouler. He said, 'You already are one!'"
"It’s hard to be successful when you’re texting during the game."
"I’m not a great shot, but I’m a great cheerleader!"
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. - Wayne Gretzky"
"The only way to prove I’m not a fool is to show you I can perform on the court!"
"Good players inspire themselves. Great players inspire others."
"I dribble the ball like a walking disaster!"
"I plan on being a great shooter once I learn to play!"
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"You can’t get much done in life if you only work on the days you feel good."
"The game of basketball is a dance, but I’m stepping on everyone’s toes!"
"I told my coach I need more scrimmage time to work on my dancing!"
"In basketball, if you can’t beat them, annoy them!"
"Why are basketball players terrible at relationships? Because they always travel!"
"If you can’t dunk it, don’t bring it!"
"Why did the basketball player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the championship was up for grabs!"
"Life is like basketball; if you don’t shoot your shot, someone else will!"
"I told my teammates I was going to be the MVP. They just laughed; it was just a 'lofty' goal."
"Basketball is my favorite season - because it comes with snacks!"
"If you think your team is bad, just remember, I’m playing on it!"
"A basketball player’s favorite place to hang out? The rim!"
"If the court had ears, I’d be in trouble!"
"Yes, I can shoot, but I prefer my shots to be hot cocoa!"
"The only thing I’m shooting for is the snack bar!"
"I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I’ve succeeded."
"When you’re not playing, all you can do is go back and look at your missed opportunities."
"The best part about basketball is that it’s always on."
"I can’t miss because I’m too good."
"You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get."
"I wasn’t a very good player in high school, but I’d keep shooting and shooting. I thought, ‘I’m going to make it eventually.', "
"I thought, 'These guys helped me get to the NBA; so why would I want to go to college?' The NBA was like, 'We want you to be a part of this event.'"
"I love the game of basketball. The only thing I love more is winning."
"Three seconds to go, down by two. What do you think? Make the shot?"
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take."
"Basketball is a simple game. It's just the people who make it complex."
"I think the thing I miss most is the camaraderie of the team."
"If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation."
"There’s always a chance for a comeback … unless you’re playing me in basketball."
"I’ve had a great time being a part of this team and doing what I love, which is running around like a chicken with its head cut off."
"I’m like a fine wine. I get better with age."
"I can't play any next level until I beat this guy."
"When I throw a ball, I throw it in the direction of the basket. I don't care if there's someone in the way."
"The NBA is like a circus'. We're all clowns."
"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains."
"You know what they say about playing with fire? You only get burned."
"I learned that as a symbol of strength, the sledgehammer is always right on target."
"Basketball is not just a sport; it’s a way of life."
"I’m not a superhero; I just play basketball."
"Basketball is a beautiful game; sometimes I forget why."
"I can’t believe I’m still playing. I mean, I used to be so good I would play against myself and my other self would lose."
"If you don't believe you can do it, then you have no chance at all."
"I told my team we're all going to be star athletes. Well, most of us are going to be stars at something anyway."
"I enjoy playing basketball, and I love to compete. I think everybody on my team does too. And we play hard for each other."
"I'm so hot, I just found a bullet in my leg. But don’t worry, the bullet was afraid of me."
"I've been adopted by the NBA. But I'm still getting used to the uniform."
"I'm not a real big fan of the game. I just play because I'm good at it."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. But you also miss a pretty good number of the ones you do."
"To me, the best part of basketball is the ability to dictate the pace of the game through your energy and your effort."
"In basketball, you can't run away from the grind. At some point, if you want to win, you'll have to embrace it—and accept both the time for hard work and the time for play."
"My coach said, 'You can't eat your players.' But I thought that would be a great way to lead by example."
"Basketball is a simple game. Just take that smell test, and if it smells good, shoot!"
"I'm a walking anomaly. I'm a great athlete and a fantastic ballplayer, but I also have a great sense of humor."
"We’re all bad at some things, and I'm great at some things. Real basketball is figuring out how to bring together the worst players in the best way."
"I thought the ball was supposed to go in the hoop. Turns out it's much more complicated than that!"
"You know the cap on a basketball is the rim. But the real cap on our dreams is our own mindset."
"Sure, I could shoot hoops all day. But I’d rather read a good book while shooting hoops."
"Never forget that you're a star! If you ever feel like you're playing a game on hard mode, just remember: I have a coach for that!"
"Basketball is like a relationship. If you don't communicate, you'll never score!"
"I spent my entire career being told I'm not tall enough. But in basketball, you just have to be standing on the right leg at the right time!"
"Losing is never funny. But watching my teammates try to shoot from three-point range? That's a show!"
"As an athlete, I take my humor seriously. That's what we call 'punching' the rim!"
"You know, some people just dribble and shoot. The rest of us, well, we prefer to dribble, shoot, and add some stand-up comedy!"
"If basketball is life, then practice is the rehearsal for a show, and I always have the best punchlines."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a basketball player. When she said 'Which one?' I said 'All of them.'"
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. – Wayne Gretzky"
"I'm a big fan of the basketball. I think it’s a great sport. It’s not just a game; it’s art."
"I can't imagine a man in a tutu playing basketball."
"The only time I set the backboard is when I’m in the shower."
"Basketball is like photography, if you don’t focus, all you have is the negative."
"My coach said I couldn't do it. I told my coach 'Watch me.' And then he did – from the bench."
"If you think basketball is just a game, you never had your heart broken on the court."
"I'm not saying I'm going to be a basketball star. I just hope to be better at it than my mom is at playing Monopoly."
"To be a great basketball player, you need to be able to take the shot. And if you miss, make sure to shoot again, just make sure you have good aim!"
"I’ve never been good at basketball, but I still enjoy watching it – mostly for the halftime shows and their outfits!"
"I'm not a player, I'm a coach, but I can still dunk my donuts."
"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, and others make it happen at the free throw line."
"Basketball is the only sport where you can get a foul on your way to the bathroom."
"You need to be able to fake your way into any game. Like I do when I pretend I know the rules of basketball."
"I went to a basketball game and I think I was watching two different teams. One was playing. The other was just trying to figure out how to fix a broken clock."
"In basketball, you can’t go to the basket alone; you always need your teammates to apply the pressure."
"Basketball: where the only defense is a good offense and a solid joke."
"If you're playing with me on the court, just remember: I’m going to take the shot. The referee? He will probably laugh."
"On the court, it’s not just about having skills, it’s about who has the best clumsy dance moves."
"Life is like basketball; if you don’t work harder than your ‘opposition’, you might just spend the rest of the night on the bench."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch!"
"If you don’t like basketball, you might have been hanging out with the wrong crowd!"
"Of course I can dunk! It’s just that gravity and my knees seem to have a different plan."
"What do you call a basketball player who likes to dance? A ballerina!"
"I told my friends I was going to start playing basketball. They said, 'because you have the height?' I said 'no, because I will always have the height of your expectations!'"
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