101 result(s) for Funny And Cute Quotes.
"If you think I'm crazy, you should see my sister!"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach photos."
"I can resist anything except temptation."
"If we’re not meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome!"
"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks."
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
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"I used to care what people thought but now I simply post whatever I want."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"If there’s a will, there’s a relative."
"I'm so clever that sometimes I don’t even understand a single word of what I’m saying."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me to the beach!"
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
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"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"Every time I tell a joke, I wonder about the poor sad person who is my punchline."
"I am on my way to becoming a very good procrastinator."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"If we weren't supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even light in the fridge?"
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"If you think I'm crazy, wait till you meet my friends!"
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
"Funny is just another way of being smart."
"They say laughter is the best medicine. I've tried it, and it tastes better than cough syrup!"
"If you think I’m crazy, you should meet my dog."
"You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a taco."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
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"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I'm not lazy; I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I wish I could be as thin as my patience."
"If we weren’t meant to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I’m not clumsy, I’m just on my own special dance floor."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work; the alphabet has 25 more letters!"
"I’m in shape. Round is a shape."
"The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"I’ve learned from the bad days and I’m just grateful to be here."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday."
"I always carry a full bottle of water. Mostly because I forget to drink it."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you are missing the best joke of all."
"Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!"
"People say nothing is impossible, but I’ve been doing nothing for years."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."
"You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
"I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it."
"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
"I enjoy long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others."
"I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and believe in magic."
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror."
"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, then how can you laugh at anyone?"
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach pictures."
"If I was funny, I would have a good quote."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!"
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
"Dear Math, I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"I think my favorite drink is coffee, because it’s like a hug in a mug."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"The only thing I throwback on Thursdays is my hair."
"I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?"
"Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese."
"If you can't be kind, at least be vague."
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