116 result(s) for Drunk Quotes.
"I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you."
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day."
"I only drink to make conversations better."
"I'm on the patch right now, but I've still got a few in the fridge."
"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can’t pronounce it."
"I think I'll have a drink, a big one."
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. And drunk minds discuss whatever pops into their heads."
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"A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her."
"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you find yourself."
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence, my friends call it."
"Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough."
"What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork."
"I've been drinking since noon, but I did take a break for lunch."
"You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"My doctor says I have a bad drinking habit. Who knew it was a habit if it's in the name of a drink?"
"I know I'm drinking too much when I find myself walking into the wrong house and opening the fridge."
"I’m not an alcoholic; I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
"A good friend will always stab you in the front, especially if you're drunk."
"I don't remember half of the things I wrote when I was drunk, but if I did, I'm sure they’d be brilliant."
"It's not the drinking to be blamed, but the drunkenness."
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"Laughter is the closest distance between two people, especially after a few shots."
"Confidence is that feeling you have before you fully understand the situation, and sometimes a few drinks help with that."
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."
"The hardest thing is to take less dyou can spare."
"I love to sing, and I love to drink. I love to sing while I drink."
"Time is a great sober. I'm just not a fan of it."
"At least I'm not as drunk as I was last night!"
"There's a fine line between drunkenness and a need for confidence."
"Drunkenness is nothing but a voluntary madness."
"I get an idea that I want to bring out into the world, and then I get drunk and bring it out into the world."
"I don't drink to forget; I drink to remember things I forgot."
"I can't drink anymore, because I'm a madman sober."
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except for bears. Bears will kill you."
"When I drink, I get intoxicated. When I'm sober, I get sober."
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"I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you."
"If I were a drink, I'd be a good scotch. Smooth, accessible, and with a history of breaking hearts."
"Cheers to my friends, that I don't have to drink, nor pretend to drink, to enjoy my time with them."
"This is the only place I can come and drink a beer, and no one will tease me for it."
"There are those who can't drink and still have a good time."
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
"Sometimes I think I should stop drinking, but I'm not sure how to do that."
"The drink affects you because it brings out something inside of you. That you often forget in sobriety."
"I can’t drink and drive, but I can drink and walk."
"Drinking gives me a feeling of euphoria that I can’t quite explain."
"I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back."
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"I'm on the patch right now, I still have the Bible."
"The problem with drinking and driving is that it’s a small, small price to pay for the life I lead."
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
"It's always a good idea to be a little drunk."
"I only drink to make me look good."
"My drinking team has a soccer problem."
"Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
"Let’s get this party started."
"I don't get drunk, I get awesome."
"I’ve known no man who has been more successful than I who drank during the day."
"I’m in a love affair with wine."
"I never drink alcohol when I’m working."
"The best beer is the one you drink with your friends."
"You know, when you do something bad, and you know it’s bad, and you still do it; that’s like drinking."
"Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life."
"A man who lies about drinking is a man who drinks too much."
"I drink, but I don’t get drunk."
"To alcohol! The cause of—and solution to—all of life’s problems."
"I’m in wine right now. I’m a real wine drinker."
"There’s a fine line between a drunk and a functioning alcoholic."
"I only drink to make other people more interesting."
"An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do."
"I used to be a real alcoholic, now I just drink a lot."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"They say money talks, but all mine says is 'Goodbye.'"
"I'm on the patch. I’m trying to detox."
"The first drink is for my health, the second for my happiness, and the third for my wisdom."
"I can't drink any more, I’ll spill it."
"I don't drink water. Have you seen the monster that invades the water supply?"
"There's too much blood in my alcohol system."
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer than most people."
"Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable."
"I work until beer o'clock."
"Age is just a number. It’s not a reason to feel bad. It’s a reason to toss back a few drinks!"
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a snake."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy."
"Let's get together and feel alright."
"I have a drinking problem. I can't find my drink."
"I only drink wine on days that end in 'y'."
"If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt."
"I drink to make other people more interesting."
"I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast."
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
"I only drink to make others seem interesting."
"Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems."
"I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline."
"There are no bad questions, just drunk ones."
"Sometimes too much to drink is just enough."
"A woman drove me to drink, and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
"I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me."
"In wine, there is truth."
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!"
"I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
"Drinking is a way of life. Just ask my liver!"
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get this."
"I have mixed drinks about feelings."
"Life is too short to drink bad wine."
"Good people drink good beer."
"The best beer is the one you can’t remember."
"I don't think I've ever met a drunk person who wasn't actually a great person."
"There’s a hangover for every occasion."
"Skydiving and drinking a beer is just like skydiving and drinking a beer, only with a better landing position."
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