129 result(s) for Aunty Acid Quotes.
"I don’t do grey areas. I do black and white."
"If you don’t like me, you can just go away."
"Some days I inspire my own self."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you may be missing the monster in the closet."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy shoes and that’s kind of the same thing."
"I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas."
"Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is?"
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"Life isn’t perfect, but your hair can be!"
"I’ve got a memory like an elephant. I remember everything, except for the things I forget."
"Sometimes I need to take an entire day to do nothing."
"Age is just a number. In my case, a very high number!"
"Being happy is the best revenge."
"Don’t make me use my Aunty voice!"
"If you can’t afford to be nice, just be quiet!"
"The only thing better than a friend is a friend with chocolate."
"The secret to staying young is to lie about your age."
"I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they’re flashing behind you."
"I’m on the patch to being the best version of myself. But I still need that cookie."
"Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle."
"Some days you just have to create your own sunshine."
"You can’t be flawless; you’ve got to be fierce."
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"There is no such thing as sarcasm; it’s all just a genuine form of honesty."
"I’m not aging; I’m marinating."
"Relax, it’s just another Monday."
"I’m not a control freak, but... can I show you the right way to do that?"
"Older people are like fine wine. They get better with age. But some of us just turn to vinegar."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, call me. I’ll laugh at you."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"I can’t wake up today. Please don’t make me."
"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"I was going to put a joke about procrastination here, but I'll just wait."
"I may be a handful, but that’s why you’ve got two hands."
"They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye."
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"Forget the gym; I’d rather be lifting a fork."
"Some days I’m at work, and other days I’m just at work."
"Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries'!"
"I don’t need an exercise program. I’m a woman. I chase after children all day!"
"It’s not that I’m afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens."
"I’ve reached an age where my back goes out more than I do."
"If you think my jeans are a little too tight, you should see my life."
"I thought aging was for old people… Oh wait, I am old people!"
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
"I've got a short attention span, and I'm not going to waste it."
"Common sense is like deodorant; the people who need it most never use it."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Aging is mandatory, but growing up is optional."
"If I don’t have a smile on my face, maybe it’s because I’m on my way to the dentist."
"I don't care if you don't like me. I was not put on this earth to entertain you."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll gladly laugh at you!"
"The best part about being over the hill is that you pick up speed."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up."
"If you think I'm going to play nice, you must have me confused with someone who cares."
"I was going to be a millionaire, but I decided to be a lot more than that."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me – I'll laugh at you!"
"If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague."
"Sometimes the best part of my day is the energy I don't spend on you."
"The only thing getting thinner is my patience."
"I'm not bossy. I just have better ideas!"
"The truth hurts, but ignorance is a pain."
"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever!"
"I don’t need your approval, I have my own!"
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Don’t worry about what people say behind your back. They’re the people who are finding faults in your life instead of fixing their own."
"I'm not over the hill; I'm on top of it!"
"Smile. It’s the best way to freak people out."
"I'm not aging. I'm marinating!"
"Life doesn’t get better, but your attitude can."
"Stress is caused by not having enough caffeine."
"Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"Chocolate is the answer; who cares what the question is?"
"Auntie Acid says age is just a number, but in my case, it's unlisted."
"I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic."
"Some things just can't be fixed. Like my credit score."
"Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success."
"Auntie Acid doesn’t mind getting older, but she’s not about to get old."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"The best part about getting older is that you can make your own rules."
"I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient."
"Not all who wander are lost. Some are just looking for coffee."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"If you can’t convince them, confuse them."
"You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza."
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except for bears. Bears will kill you."
"Friends are like wine; they get better with age. The older I get, the better I’ll be!"
"I wish I had an easy button for everything."
"Every day is a fashion show, and the world is my runway."
"I’m not actually funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking."
"I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong."
"It’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years."
"Life is too short to be taken seriously."
"Auntie Acid’s guide to life: Just eat the cake!"
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Here’s to the nights we’ll never remember, with the friends we’ll never forget."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me; I’ll laugh at you."
"I'm on the patch now. It's a patch that makes me happy. A happy patch! Who knew?"
"And if you can’t say anything nice, then sit right here beside me and we’ll say it together!"
"Remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!"
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!"
"I hate when I have to be the adult. I just want to be a kid again!"
"If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning!"
"The only thing that seems to be growing faster than my waistline is my list of complaints!"
"You can't fly with the eagles if you hoot with the owls!"
"I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas!"
"I may be a handful, but hey, you’ll have to admit I’m worth it!"
"Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain!"
"It's hard to be sad when you're holding a cupcake!"
"I'm not really a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?"
"If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote!"
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop!"
"Sometimes all you need is love. Or a cupcake. Or both!"
"Age is just a number. In my case, a BIG number!"
"Don't let anyone dim your sparkle!"
"I didn't choose the sass life; the sass life chose me!"
"Some days you just have to create your own sunshine!"
"I'm not getting older. I'm just becoming a classic!"
"Behind every great woman, there is a woman rolling her eyes!"
"I’m not old; I’m just chronologically gifted!"
"Excuse me, I've got some fabulousness to attend to!"
"I’m sorry I’m late; I didn’t want to come!"
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!"
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about!"
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