114 result(s) for Funny Cocktail Quotes.
"I only drink to be sociable. After all, if I don't drink, I can't have fun, right?"
"There’s too much blood in my alcohol system."
"I’m on the patch right now. A cocktail patch. It gets me through the day."
"A cocktail a day keeps the doctor away. Or maybe not, but it keeps me happy!"
"I'm not an alcoholic, I’m a 'cocktail enthusiast.'"
"Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says to love your enemy."
"I wish I had a glass of scotch for every time I said, 'I’d rather be drinking cocktail right now.'"
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"Why limit happy to an hour?"
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
"The only thing you get from drinking is a good-natured hangover."
"I never met a cocktail I didn't like."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy cocktails, and that’s pretty much the same thing."
"A man walks into a bar… and just about everyone makes a cocktail out of him."
"When life gives you lemons, make a cocktail!"
"You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning."
"Love is like a cocktail: some flavors go well together, and others… not so much."
"Let’s get together, and feel alright… with a cocktail!"
"There’s nothing to fear but running out of cocktails."
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!"
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"A cocktail a day keeps the doctor away – unless the doctor is cute, then forget the fruit."
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"I only drink to make my friends seem more interesting."
"What is more important than the drink itself is the story you tell while you drink it."
"There’s a time and a place for everything. And it’s called ‘happy hour.’"
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
"Good friends and fine wine are the perfect ingredients for laughter."
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
"They say that money talks, but I have seen it walk away. When it comes to cocktails, it’s all about smooth sipping."
"In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy a cocktail, and that’s pretty close."
"My favorite drink is a cocktail. I love how it tastes and how it makes my friends’ jokes funnier."
"A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says, 'A beer please, and one for the road.'"
"The difference between a drunk and a madman is that a drunk is just a madman who’s had the good sense to drink."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough."
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"Cheers to all of us who love cocktails and laughter. Let’s drink to that!"
"Save water, drink cocktails."
"It's not drinking alone if the bar is open."
"A cocktail is like a hug in a glass."
"Drink responsibly. You can’t drink the whole bottle in one go. Pay attention to your cocktail; it might just be your best friend."
"If someone offers you an espresso martini, say yes immediately. What could be more refreshing?"
"I just want to drink a cocktail and pretend I’m not in a quarantine."
"The only thing better than a cocktail is two cocktails."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it—especially if it has a cocktail in it."
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
"I like my martini like my women: dry, with a twist."
"A woman drove me to drink, and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her."
"There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others."
"May your joys be as deep as the ocean, your troubles as light as its foam, and may you find sweet, sweet cocktails waiting for you at home."
"I’m not drinking it for the taste, I’m drinking it for the groove!"
"Margaritas are like hugs for your insides."
"I don’t always drink cocktails, but when I do, I prefer two at a time."
"Happiness is a martini, a laugh, and a friend."
"Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If it gives you limes, make margaritas."
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy."
"In wine, there's truth. In whiskey, there's strength. In cocktails, there's happiness."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy a cocktail, and that's kind of the same thing."
"It's not that we spend five days a week looking forward to just two. It's that most people do what they enjoy most on those two days - drink!"
"When life hands you lemons, grab the tequila and salt!"
"I'm on a cocktail diet. I've lost 3 days already!"
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure, and tequila!"
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"I believe that alcohol is the only cure for a dull life."
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
"There’s no such thing as a bad drink, only bad company."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already!"
"Age and glasses of wine should never be counted."
"Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
"I only drink to make my friends seem interesting."
"I think the first thing we should do is kill all the lawyers. Then we drink!"
"A dry martini,"
"I like my martini like my men: strong, dry, and dirty."
"Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough."
"Drinking makes a man feel like a king, but at the end of the day, he’s still a clown."
"There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of you will understand this."
"Sometimes when I think how good my book can be, I can hardly breathe."
"Good people drink good beer."
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. Drink cocktails second."
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
"A cocktail a day keeps reality at bay."
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."
"For every problem, there’s a solution that is simple, clean and wrong. Drink a cocktail and forget about it."
"Life is a party. Dress like it."
"Let’s get our cocktail glasses up and cheers to confusion."
"I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"I just want to drink wine and be a mermaid."
"I drink to make other people more interesting."
"A cocktail a day keeps the doctor away. At least, that’s what I tell myself."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a cocktail, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."
"I like my cocktails like I like my men: tall, strong, and mixed."
"It’s not a hangover, it’s a new state of mind."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"The only thing better than a cocktail is a cocktail with a friend."
"I only drink champagne on two occasions: when I’m in love and when I’m not."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"Life is too short to drink bad cocktails."
"Cheers to those who inspire us and don’t even know it."
"A day without a cocktail is like a day without sunshine."
"There’s a fine line between a witty and a drunken remark."
"I tried to make a cocktail but it ended up just being a glass of alcohol with a beautiful garnish."
"A bartender is just a technician with a taste for cocktails."
"Too much of anything is bad, but too much champagne is just right."
"There’s nothing a cocktail can’t fix, at least for a few hours."
"Margaritas are the only reason I get out of bed in the morning."
"Drinking just a little bit of alcohol can be good for you, but I think moderation is the key."
"The best cocktail is the one you share with friends."
"I don’t always drink cocktails, but when I do, I prefer them shaken, not stirred."
"I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem."
"This cocktail is delicious! Otherwise, I’d have to go back to water."
"A cocktail is not just a drink; it's a small moment of happiness."
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