127 result(s) for Funny Quotes By Pilots.
"I’m not a real pilot. I’m just a guy with a 401(k)."
"Flying is easy. It’s the landing part that’s tricky."
"I would like to see the cockpit of every aircraft in the world fitted with a 'puke switch'. We need to start talking about this."
"In flying, the probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival."
"A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what has happened, so he can apply what he has learned."
"There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots."
"The cockpit voice recorder is the black box that saves the dead men’s conversations."
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"The only reason I fly is to get somewhere. The rest of the time, I’m on the ground with a drink."
"After flying, everything else in life is worthless."
"Flying is like sex: we all have to do it but only some of us can do it well."
"An airline ticket is a passport to the world, and to a very uncomfortable seat."
"To be a pilot, you have to have a little bit of a ‘death wish’!"
"If God wanted man to fly, he would have given him more money."
"In the cockpit, I am the king; in the cabin, I am the court jester."
"My favorite part of flying is taking off. It's like a rocket launching into space… except you don’t get to go to space."
"What’s the difference between a pilot and a co-pilot? The co-pilot has a backup job."
"Flying is the ultimate thrill. No line of code can replace that feeling."
"I’m not just a pilot; I’m a high-priced chauffeur."
"Becoming a pilot requires a certain level of insanity—it’s just a question of how much you’ve got."
"When I was younger, I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Then I discovered I like living too much."
"The bigger the airplane, the more jokes it takes to keep morale up."
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"There are two kinds of pilots: those who have experienced engine failure and those who will."
"Taking off is optional; landing is mandatory."
"Behind every successful pilot is a substantial amount of paperwork."
"My landing skill? Just like my parking skill: always a little too far from the mark."
"Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first."
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter—and therefore, unsafe."
"A pilot is the only person who has a bad day and still gets to fly."
"I enjoy flying. I love taking off. I love landing. I love taking off again."
"Flying is akin to a love affair. To begin with, it’s not uncommon to have a little turbulence."
"I will fly the aircraft if you make me a sandwich."
"The only thing worse than a bad landing is a missed approach."
"When in doubt, hold on tight and feel right."
"The key to safety is to not make any mistakes during the flight. Thus, I never make mistakes."
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"We didn’t crash; we just got a little too close to the ground."
"Flying is the best drug I know."
"Never fly higher than your dreams."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"Bad pilots are made in bad weather."
"The trick is not to let any mistakes in the cockpit be your last."
"Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory."
"If you think your job is tough, try flying an airplane with a bunch of screaming kids in the back."
"Sure, I’ll fly on your airline. Just as long as you don’t mind if I wear a parachute!"
"Skydiving: the most fun you can have without being in a plane!"
"Remember, if we crash, we won’t have to buy a new plane!"
"At least I didn’t crash into the building this time!"
"Pilots are just controlled chaos engineers."
"To err is human; to really mess up, you need a pilot."
"Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines."
"I don’t always have a good landing, but when I do, it’s usually by accident."
"Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man — landing is the first."
"To be a successful pilot, you must find a catchphrase that actually helps you feel confident... like 'it’s supposed to do that!'"
"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is a miracle."
"Pilots are the only people who can be in a bad mood and still get a standing ovation for doing their job."
"Remember: it’s only a problem if you can’t land on the other side."
"The sky is the same, but the maintenance logs are different."
"When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky."
"The most useless thing to bring on a flight is a parachute when you’re the pilot."
"You know you’re a pilot when you say 'I flew' and people think 'flew' is the past of the word 'fly.'"
"Flying is like sex: you’re going to make mistakes, but you must not panic."
"The most expensive part of the airplane is the ground."
"If you think flying is dangerous, try crashing."
"Flying: the fine art of throwing yourself at the ground and missing."
"Pilots do it in the air."
"Air traffic control: where the punctuation is spoken and everyone is listening."
"In aviation, we trust that the engines will keep us in the air…at least most of the time."
"Jet fuel is just as effective as coffee — if the weather isn’t right, no one goes anywhere."
"What’s the difference between a pilot and a co-pilot? The co-pilot gets to complain while the pilot is busy trying to save them both!"
"The pilot’s best friend? The autopilot. The pilot’s worst enemy? Other pilots."
"Pilots see the world from a different perspective — mostly upside down!"
"If you think the cockpit is cramped, try being on a flight with a hundred scared passengers!"
"Airplanes are a perfect example of great things being done with the worst materials possible."
"All you need for a successful flight: a good co-pilot and a whole lot of luck."
"I don't know how to fly a plane, but I can turn on the coffee pot while I figure it out!"
"I never forget a flight, but in case I do, my logbook reminds me."
"There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots."
"To err is human, but to really mess things up you need a pilot."
"The airplane is the safest place on earth, but leaping from it can be hazardous."
"Pilot: the only profession where a person may help to create something whose essence is air."
"A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is one where you can use the plane again."
"I used to fly. I still fly. But I fly a lot of different things."
"Flying is like a love affair; there is no safety net."
"Jet fuel burns quicker than a pilot’s check clears!"
"Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price."
"A mile of highway will take you a mile, but a mile of runway will take you anywhere."
"I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things."
"Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living."
"You know you're a pilot when you spend half your paycheck on fuel for your airplane and the other half on flying lessons."
"Flying is not about the destination, it’s about the journey and the snacks."
"A pilot's favorite frequency? 121.5 — it's the universal distress frequency."
"I just love to fly! It’s my favorite thing to do — next to complaining about the flying."
"Flying is like sex; it’s great when it’s good, and it’s a nightmare when it’s not."
"When in doubt, hold the altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky."
"Why don’t pilots eat at the airport? Because they can’t find a decent place to land!"
"Every takeoff is optional; every landing is mandatory."
"As a pilot, you must be careful: clouds can be deceptively fluffy."
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter — and that’s not good."
"In the cockpit, you’re your own boss, but also at the mercy of everyone else’s mistakes."
"The only thing worse than a poorly trained pilot is an overly confident one."
"Pilots spend 90% of their time preparing for 10% of the thrill."
"Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror."
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire."
"Why don’t pilots ever get lost? Because the GPS always says, 'Recalculating!'"
"A helicopter is just a brick with rotors on it!"
"In flying, there are old pilots and bold pilots, but no old, bold pilots."
"I’d rather be a lion for a day than a sheep all my life, or so the pilot told us before takeoff."
"A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is one where they can use the plane again."
"The co-pilot is the guy who gets to distract the pilot when he’s having a bad day!"
"Cockpit: A place where the pilot can perform miracles with an ounce of intuition and a mile of luck."
"I have two pilots in my family—one who flies planes and another is just ‘plane’ funny!"
"Flying is like sex: I've never had all I wanted, but I always want more."
"The difference between a fighter pilot and God? God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot."
"To most people, the sky is the limit. To a pilot, it’s home."
"Flying: the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first."
"If you don’t know where you’re going, you can’t really get lost."
"If you are in a hurry, it's better to use a branch office of your airline."
"Flying is a blast until you have to land."
"As a pilot, I often feel like a magician: now you see me, now you don’t!"
"The worst part about being a pilot is that you can’t always be in the cockpit."
"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."
"When in doubt, fly it out!"
"Flying lessons should include a 70-30 balance of chaos and calm."
"If you’ve got a 10-minute break, take it. You never know when you’ll get the next one."
"The best pilots are the ones who can keep their cool when all hell breaks loose."
"Flying is like love: it requires an ideal and a fair amount of risk-taking."
"Takeoffs are optional, but landings are mandatory."
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