116 result(s) for Snarky Quotes.
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t want to."
"If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb the Silas Marner statue in the park."
"The best way to convince a fool that he is wise is to let him keep his foolishness."
"I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you."
"I'd agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I'd explain it to you, but I'm all out of puppets and crayons."
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"I am not arguing with you, I’m just explaining why you are wrong."
"You’re never too old to learn something stupid."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"When people say 'It’s always the one you least suspect,' I say, maybe I should start suspecting everyone."
"I didn't choose the thug life; the thug life chose me."
"I’m so glad we had this time together, just to have a laugh or sing a song."
"Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."
"Let me be clear: I'm not interested in your feelings."
"A person is a fool to become a writer. His only recompense is a broken heart and a fractured jaw."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn't want me here either."
"If I wanted to hear from an a**hole, I would have farted."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"You’re unique, just like everyone else."
"My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships."
"If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ."
"I’m multi-talented: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."
"You brought this on yourself! I merely drove you to it."
"You’re not stupid; you just do stupid things."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I like to think of myself as an angel, but I’m pretty sure I’m more of a ghost."
"You can’t be late until you show up."
"You know, I’d love to see things from your perspective, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass."
"I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life."
"I’m not short, I’m fun size!"
"I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you."
"Having a crush on someone is like being in a coma. You can’t think straight, you can’t see clearly, and no one seems to understand you."
"I'd explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d have farted."
"I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you’re not holding your breath."
"I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I wish I could be as thin as my patience."
"I'm not short, I'm just more down to earth than most people."
"The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacations."
"I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"Some days you’re the pigeon; some days you’re the statue."
"I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"I didn't mean to offend you; I'm just trying to make you see the world the way I do, which is obviously much better."
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted."
"I’m on the patch of road where I go from ‘what the hell’ to ‘whatever’."
"You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room."
"Yes, I’m talking to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice."
"I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m sleeping."
"Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I told my computer that I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me to ads for vacations."
"I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today."
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I'm not bossy; I just know what you should be doing."
"Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
"I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks."
"If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off."
"I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"There's no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time."
"I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'"
"Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things."
"I wish I had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I wouldn’t need to hear your stupid comments."
"I can be a great friend, but you've got to start with a better personality."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I’d explain it to you, but it would just go over your head."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"I'll be out of my mind, be back in five minutes."
"If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich."
"I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy."
"I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"You're never too old to take up a new hobby, it's just that some people are too lazy."
"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks."
"I have a very low tolerance for stupidity."
"Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it."
"The only thing I throwback on Thursday is a drink."
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"If you think I'm sarcastic, you should hear me in person."
"I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas."
"I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long."
"I can't brain today; I have the dumb."
"I don't need your attitude; I have my own."
"I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons."
"I don’t do this to be polite; I just do it to be sarcastic."
"I don’t have time for drama, unless I’m watching it on television."
"Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
"Just because I can’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re not interesting."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?