134 result(s) for Madea Funny Quotes.
"I ain't gon' let nobody steal my joy."
"You ain't got to tell me what to do. I'm not going to just waste my time."
"If you don't want the truth, don't ask the question."
"You can mess around with the neighbors, but don't mess around with my family."
"I don't have time to play with you; I got a life to live."
"You learn more about a person at the end of the relationship than you do at the beginning."
"You need to watch what you say; everything you say ain't always true."
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"The best lesson is the one you learn when you ain't paying attention."
"You got to go to church; there are a lot of people who say they believe in God, but they don't know Him at all."
"Don't be acting so crazy that you forget to take care of your business."
"You can't take your stuff with you when you die, so you might as well live your life right."
"Sometimes you just have to be who you are, regardless of what others think."
"When you make a mistake, it's an opportunity to learn something new."
"Sometimes you got to shake the dust off your feet and move on."
"A good parent doesn't have to be perfect; they just have to love their children."
"I'm too blessed to be stressed."
"I can do bad all by myself!"
"You know you can talk to me about anything…especially if it involves money."
"Don't you dare let somebody else steal your happiness."
"You know your worth, and nobody can take that from you."
"If you want to be about that life, be about it. But don’t come crying to me when it catches up with you."
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"Never forget where you come from, but don't let it define who you are."
"Life is too short to live with regrets; make every moment count."
"I might not be what you want, but I'm exactly what you need."
"Don't be afraid to let go of the past; it's not worth dragging into your future."
"Figure out what you’re going to do, and stand by it. Life is too short for indecision."
"You just have to do what you feel is right; the rest will fall into place."
"Girl, you better be fighting back! You don’t wanna be all up in the courtroom crying, 'He hit me! He hit me!' No, you don’t wanna be looking like a fool."
"I’m not a man, but even I know that sometimes it's easier to just be quiet and let them think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
"You ain't got to give your whole life story to somebody. Just throw it out there and keep moving."
"You know what I love to tell people? You can get a job, but you don't have to work for free."
"You're not gonna gain anything from lying because eventually, the truth is gonna come out!"
"Sometimes you gotta take the bull by the horns and just deal with it!"
"You better let that go right now, before it messes you up for the rest of your life!"
"Now, you know I've been through some things, but I still know how to keep my head up!"
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"When you have somebody that cares about you, you should treat them like royalty!"
"You can’t mess with the family. And that’s a lesson you need to learn."
"If you don’t want nobody to find out, then you should have kept your mouth shut!"
"You know, some folks just don't know when to be quiet!"
"You are not going to have a pity party over here!"
"Having a good heart will only get you so far. You gotta start being smart!"
"Listen up, you can cry about it all you want, but life ain't easy."
"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. But if they're rotten, add some sugar and vodka!"
"Don't let nobody tell you who you are! You gotta figure that out for yourself!"
"Don't forget to put yourself first sometimes; no one else is gonna do it for you!"
"The best way to deal with drama is to just ignore it and walk on by!"
"When life gets hard, you gotta get tougher!"
"You can't have a minivan if you don't have no kids!"
"Happiness is a choice; it’s not something that just falls from the sky."
"A little sass and a lot of class: that's just how I roll!"
"A strong woman knows that she has to do what she has to do!"
"Everybody has a story; that's just part of life."
"If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna make it come true?"
"Sometimes you just gotta shake it off, and let it go!"
"I ain't got no money for that, but I can loan you a 'hell no'."
"I don't care what you say, honey. You can't make a wig out of no synthetic hair!"
"I’m not a saint, but I know I can pinch a few 'hell no' dollars here and there!"
"You know you’re not supposed to be looking at no man that ain't your husband, and you know the same goes for women!"
"You got to hold on to your faith and your money."
"You can’t be fixed if you don’t want to be fixed."
"Don't nobody tell me nothing! I'm grown!"
"You need to get yourself a mirror, look in it and change what's looking back at you."
"Now, who in the hell do you think you are?"
"And when you're down, baby, don't let nobody tell you it ain't going to get better."
"You could be doggone dead in two minutes, so you better enjoy every minute of this life!"
"Don't you ever let a man tell you you ain't worth it!"
"You know what? I feel like being nice today. Let's go get some ice cream!"
"Don't call me unless you payin' my bills!"
"I’ve raised children, and I’ve raised hell—both come with their own set of challenges!"
"Somebody’s got to get a little bit louder with the truth!"
"Truth will outlive a lie any day!"
"If you're gonna lie, you better make sure your story lines up!"
"Life is too short to be normal."
"You ain't got to run and tell somebody my business, you can call me and I’ll tell you myself!"
"It's all about how you treat folks, and I treat people like I'd want to be treated!"
"You can be right, but it doesn’t help if your attitude is all wrong!"
"Never take life too seriously. It’s just a ride!"
"If they can't handle you at your worst, then they don’t deserve you at your best."
"You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be you!"
"Ain't nobody got time for all that drama!"
"I can do bad all by myself."
"You ain't got to lie, Craig!"
"Don't make me come down there, you big ol' fat man!"
"Happiness comes from within. You know where it comes from? It comes from God."
"The devil is a liar!"
"Sometimes you got to be a fool to be wise."
"If you don't know your worth, you will accept anything."
"When somebody does something to you, you need to let it go and forgive them."
"It's not what you do; it's how you do it."
"You can't take my joy. It’s mine!"
"Girl, you better get your life!"
"I keep my enemies in front of me, 'cause I don't want them behind me."
"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."
"We all got problems, baby. Stop acting like you don't."
"You can’t worry about what people think, you gotta live your life."
"If you’re not doing it for you, why are you doing it?"
"Sometimes you just gotta pray and then cruise."
"You can’t change people; you can only change how you deal with them."
"You gotta learn to love yourself first before you can love anyone else."
"I’m too blessed to be stressed."
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"
"You are what you believe yourself to be."
"Life is too short to be unhappy."
"If you don’t like how I’m living, you can just kiss my whole entire ass."
"Get a grip, honey! You can’t live your life in fear."
"Keep your faith in God. He’s got your back."
"Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath."
"I’m not a trick, I’m a treat."
"You can’t be trying to find love when you don’t love yourself."
"Happiness is not a destination, it’s a way of life."
"Some people don’t know how to appreciate what they got until it’s gone."
"I’m going to be alright regardless of what’s going on."
"What’s done in the dark will come to the light."
"You can’t go through life in a bubble."
"You better check yourself before you wreck yourself."
"If you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure don’t deserve me at my best."
"I don’t do drama, I do faith."
"Ain’t nobody got time for that!"
"You got to be strong, don’t you let nobody tell you any different."
"I’m not gonna let you get under my skin."
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
"It’s not about what you have, it’s about what you do with what you have."
"Sometimes you just have to put your foot down."
"Family is what you make it."
"Don't worry about what others think of you."
"Don't let nobody tell you who you are."
"There are two types of people: those who put up with your foolishness and those who put you in your place."
"You can't let nobody take your happiness away."
"This too shall pass."
"Some things you just can’t laugh off."
"You want to be happy? Make it a priority."
"If you’re gonna talk the talk, you better walk the walk."
"Sometimes, you gotta leave people where they at."
"Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry, and you cry alone."
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