109 result(s) for Funny Drink Quotes.
"I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not."
"A drunk mind speaks a sober heart."
"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his beer."
"The only thing better than a glass of wine is two glasses of wine."
"There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others."
"Wine is sunlight, held together by water."
"In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria."
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"A man who lies about beer makes enemies."
"There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation."
"When life gives you lemons, make margaritas."
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis."
"If you think you’re too small to be effective, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito."
"The best part of a good drink is that you can always find someone to share it with."
"Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that's kind of the same thing."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll be happy to do it for you."
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
"You can't sip with us!"
"Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman."
"There are two kinds of people in this world: A) people who like to drink, and B) liars."
"I only drink on two occasions: when it's my birthday and when it's not."
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"A man walks into a bar... and he gets hit on the head with a chair. It's a classic misconception - there should always be a drink involved."
"I'm on the patch right now, but I could use a drink."
"The only thing we have to fear is running out of drinks."
"I'm not a bartender, I'm a cocktail artist."
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If it gives you limes, mix them into a margarita."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. Especially if my drink is within reach."
"I never drink water. Fish f*** in it."
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
"Happiness is a cocktail of a good time and a better drink."
"I don't just drink to have fun; I drink to make my friends more interesting."
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy a drink, and that's kind of the same thing."
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach for my drink."
"The only thing better than a drink is a drink enjoyed with friends."
"A good beer is like a good woman; it should never be wasted."
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"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
"On the first day of school, my teacher asked me what my favorite drink was. I said, 'Fruit punch!' She said, 'Good, because we have a fruit punch party every Friday!' I replied, 'That's not what I meant…'"
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says to love your enemy."
"Good friends and good drinks make the best recipes for great memories."
"I drink therefore I am."
"Drinking gives me a feeling of euphoria, unless I'm drinking to forget, in which case it's more like feeling confused."
"Drink happy thoughts."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine, and that’s pretty much the same thing."
"A cocktail a day keeps the doctor away."
"I never met a cocktail I didn't like."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: people who drink wine and those who are wrong."
"I drink because I’m thirsty, and I’m thirsty because I’m drinking."
"I only drink on weekdays – excluding holidays."
"Life is too short to drink bad wine."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"My favorite drink is champagne. It's not just a drink; it's a lifestyle."
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."
"Cheers to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—many of life's problems."
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate and alcohol."
"I drink like you do; the difference is, I can’t remember it."
"I would give up drinking, but I'm not a quitter."
"Drink triple, see double, act single."
"Drink responsibly – and by responsibly, I mean not spilling it."
"It's not about the years in your life that count. It's the drinks in your years."
"Raise your glass to the ones who've had too much!"
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city – with a bar."
"I drink to make other people more interesting."
"Age is just a number. Unfortunately, it's also a limit on how much I can drink."
"I only drink to forget. Unfortunately, I forget what I was trying to forget."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who drink and those who think they don't drink."
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. And so does the secret of why I keep drinking."
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer to do it while laughing."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
"Beer: because one doesn’t solve the world’s problems over white wine."
"I don't get drunk, I get awesome!"
"Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable."
"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."
"A good conscience is a soft pillow; a good drink is a great bedside manner."
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore, always carry a small snake."
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."
"I drink rarely, but when I drink, I think intensely."
"Drinking is a way of thinking, and I would rather be thinking about drinks."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"A man who lies about drinking is an amateur; a man who drinks and doesn't lie is a professional."
"If you’re too into health, you won’t have any fun. So, I see why they look so miserable."
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right, or at least get it a little tipsy."
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
"A man walks into a bar. His liver is shot."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"Cider is a classic, because it’s lovely and refreshing — and the best way to drink it is with friends."
"Age is just a number. It’s all about how much you drink."
"I don’t spend my money on alcohol, I spend my money on experiences. And then I drink."
"Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer, and that’s pretty close."
"If you think I’m drunk, wait until you see me sober!"
"I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m just a light drinker with heavy duties."
"The only thing better than a cold beer is a cold beer shared with friends."
"Drinking makes you forget. Forget what? I don’t remember."
"In wine, there is wisdom; in beer, there is freedom; in water, there is bacteria."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a drink, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"I've got a bad feeling about this cocktail."
"Everything in moderation, including moderation."
"The only thing worse than a hangover is a hangover with dignity."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it, especially if it involves a drink."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters and a few drinks."
"That moment when you realize your beer belly is actually a barrel of happiness."
"I only drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not."
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